The Mother of all Comedians

Im all in...

2011-10-23T23:59:00.001-04:00

So I am what Marc Marons called in his keynote speech "ALL IN"...... He spoke of how this life takes its toll and the sacrifices and torture we willingly endure because of this calling of sorts. This need to stand in a room and to be heard with the goal of making people laugh. I spoke to a dear comedy friend recently and he said, "we get paid not only for what we can do in front of an audience but also for all that we have sacrificed to be who we are and able to do what we do".

Some comics are better at keeping life balanced than others. I was fortunate in the fact that I had a family and husband to support me and our children. I remember talking to a female comic 8 yrs ago and I said how grateful I am to have a home and some comforts in life. How I see comics far more brave living on thin air and risking it all for comedy. She mentioned that when that I go home to a house and family . She spends night after night on a stool infront of a mic while her eggs are rotting . She now must be about 40?? I think of her all the time and what she was willing to risk. Is she famous NO? A normal person would say she bet wrong. I say she made her choice and comedy won. As it often does when your "ALL IN"

This life shapes you into something else your weren't before. Its like water falling on a rock one drip at a time you dont even see it happening till its too late to change most of the time. Even something as simple as years of waking up after most of the world has spent a third of their day awake. People know not to call till 10. If you have to be somewhere at 8 AM its like getting up in the middle of the night. I found myself never wanting to make plans with people because you know if you get a gig you will have to cancel so you never make plans and soon you dont have to because no one remembers you. Trying to find who you are on stage as you less and less know who you are off of it . Add to the mix if you have demons, addictions, and dysfunctions and its a very different sort of life. Sure we have a kinship with each other as comics but in the end what we do is very solitary. Most of the time we drive long hours alone, spend our days alone and its us on the mic alone. Demons grow if not kept in check in that environment of isolation and aloneness ... like mold on deli meat left to long in the fridge. For me smoking returned after quitting for 17 yrs my weight blew up again. I smoked out of nerves and boredom shortly after starting this. My relationship with food got crazy. Its not good to eat dinner in your car at 1 am alone I learned. You dont make the best food choices. I have since lost weight and quit smoking ( 8 yrs later). But comedy is an easy place for the worst to come out and take hold. If I didn't have to drive I am sure I would have been drinking too. The few times I have had a hotel to stay at if it was in the venue I have gotten plastered. I forgot I quit smoking too that night. God only knows if I was a road comic what would take hold. I am a determined person you have to be to do this. However weaknesses seem to thrive living this life too. Its a constant with me to try and stay in balance. Most of my work is fundraisers and corporate and private parties. I am alone 1/2 of the time. My husband often will drive me just so I have company.

I love when I get to do shows with other comics. My favorite part is the diner after where we can talk shop and just hang out. I miss the early years at the mics when I would be with dozens of other comics. My favorite part of bouncing around in NYC was seeing so many other comics and catching up. Driving 3 hours to a gig and home that night is not the same. Its not all fun and games. Its called work because it is.

All this said... I could never live the old way again. I remember as a kid in Jr high. I would walk in the cafeteria from table to table trying to figure out where I fit. I spent most lunches smoking in the girls room with the bad girls. I was far from one of them and didn't fit in here either but at least these girls were interesting. I never found my table to sit at in college, a work as a young single, as a wife and mother in the burbs or any where until I started my journey as a stand up. When I met my fellow comedians I knew I was home. It was the first time I felt I was where I belonged. I loved that Marc Maron mentioned all ways we go through this to find an audience ... from the coffee houses the mics to the bar shows and elks clubs with no guarantee of anything. From the open mic comic to The guys at the top who are doing this because were "ALL IN" We are a fellowship for sure. I love comedians who are "All in" because we are in this thing that only someone with no other choice would never want to do. I have seen people give up being doctors and lawyers and marriages and friends and health insurance and financial security and much more for this thing we have to do. It is pathetic and beautiful all at the same time. Sometimes something is so ugly that its humanity is a thing of beauty.

Lastly, I respect Marc for saying all he had to in front of industry. It needed to be said. Bless you Marc.

ROBIN.... Plus One

2008-12-13T07:20:00.003-05:00

Time Square last Weds. night had less people than I am used to at this time of the year. You could actually
walk down the sidewalk with out a Tsunami of people pulling you down the street in the opposite direction of where you were headed.
Less people in my mind means less audience.

Fortunately I have been getting booked steadily... although I have had a few shows get cancelled just a day or two before due to lack of ticket sales.... come to think of it.
One thing that I have found to be true is... If you have any talent and some funny in you....... hard work eventually does pay.
This past year was very difficult, filled with the emotional and physical traumas. I would have to get onstage and be funny when my world was anything but. I pushed through all of it , I had worked so hard to get where I found myself and didn't want to let myself down or loose the momentum I had struggled so hard for.

Often I felt trapped. In the past year I did 300 or more sets. I was beginning to see some progress. I had begun to headline in rooms outside of the city more and more. In clubs outside of NYC I moved from a MC /opener to feature. In the city I was getting spots on Friday and Saturday nights more often. I found during this time I didn't write as much as I had hoped to. Some how I still managed to get a new 20 over the year. My mantra as many of those of you who know me and read my blog is..... "All I can do is try to get funnier". That really is my goal. Some how I truly think that if you are very funny all the rest will find you. You still need head shots and a bio but it will find you.

So this past year I saw myself inching a few steps forward.... but am I getting funnier??? Because for me that is what I truly wish for and work for. Progress is a good indication.... I search for signs of progress.
How do you tell? How do you actually know if you are getting funnier? I looked for small signs of approval where I could. The Audience??? Maybe. I trust them but don't trust myself to gauge them and their liking of me.
Lets face it some audiences are easy. I often after a show would stand in the lobby like Sally Field in the movie Soapdish...and wait for the audience to leave the building.
Some times I would think .... I rocked and not ONE person would stop and say nice job. Sometimes an audience member would shake the hand of the comedian next to me and act like I was not there. Other times I would think that was a solid set ... not a kill but solid or that was just okay. Then after the show... Back in the Lobby I am getting people asking to take pictures of us together ..and wanting to buy me a drink. GO know?? I thought.... some audiences are just nicer than others. So the audience is only going to tell me so much. Since I was not getting standing ovations..... I would continue to look for other signs of getting funnier.

Bookers and Club managers etc. should be a place to look for signs that you are improving. Yes and no. Some Bookers and Managers make it easy to see you are improving. They tell you that they like your work and they reward you by booking you more or move you up from feature to headliner . The pay you more or at all. I have one place I perform ... they all hug me and tell me they love me.... I get booked 4 to 5 times a year. I also have my very best sets when I work for them. They send me nice emails and sometimes write on my social networking walls. Maybe I do so well in thier shows because I feel so much support . Some places I work will seldom give you any indication that they like you or that you are progressing. You rarely will hear anyone in management tell you .... Good Job. You find out if your doing a good job when they Book you and to them this should say it all. We book you we like you. So you look for other sighs that they like you. Is your name printed on the avails sheet this week or do you have to write your name in? Is your photo on the wall? etc Its like being married to a guy who doesn't tell you he loves you but his actions are how you know. He works 3 jobs ,he makes you tea when your sick. He is someone you can count on. I have had this year several Booker's and club managers move me up weekends from week nights. From Opener or MC and from feature to headliner, I have gotten emails after a show thanking me and telling me that I was good. I have been asked back again. These must be the signs of progress I tell myself.

Friends... you ask your friends , Am I getting any better at this? If they are a civilian.... they will look at you like your nuts and say some version of a polite lie. Not really , it just is if they say anything, I'm not going to believe them, they are my friends. Same goes for my husband. This question is like.... do these jeans make my ass look big??? What can he say? I cook his food and could poison him.

Comedy Friends... How pathetic do you sound to them asking???? Do you see any progress here am I funnier? They will most likely be of no help. Other comics they should know! So, if they say to you great set you can feel good about it. You think... Wow so and so liked my set. It feels fantastic but some times you hear a Comic say to another comic who has very little going for them( just say a sucky comic Robin) who just tanked and is clueless to the fact that he did just tank..."Good set "!!!

One night one of the guys who barks at a club ran up to me on the street. Robin Fox your my favorite!!! Of all the comedians in the club you are the best one. I see them all And you are the best ONE!!! I tell everyone come see this hysterical NJ Woman Comedian she's amazing! I am thinking... Wow! really. I'm speechless, this is cool, he should know he sees them all! WOW! According to him I'm the Best ONE!!!!! Enough about me.... Who are you? How long have you been barking etc I ask? He tells me that for years he was an accountant.... then things got really bad and he had a massive break down...and he had to be hospitalised for a while. But now with medication he is doing fine and loves barking, barking is the best job in the world. So in other words.... All the voices that live in his head ....decided I'm the funniest!!! I'm awesome. wow. He is my favorite barker..... Because another motto I have is, If you like me.... I LOVE YOU!

Bookings.... In search of signs of progress... Is my calendar full? am I playing in better rooms??Am I making more money?? Am I funnier?? Am doing harder sets and doing well? Doing well when no one else is?? Being able to follow a high energy comic and still do well. Being able to do crowd work.... I'm liking it in fact. Some of the Top comics in the city actually talk to me now? Progress I see some progress. Hard work is paying off.

Sunday I did a show in Montclair for one of my favorite Booker's. One year ago I did a show for her my Late brother Craig saw me co headline and perform for the very first time. I had a very strong set. One of those sets where you know you impressed the room and yourself. Just solid. Then of course I pick it apart and say well if so and so was there maybe you wouldn't have done as well.. You were the best of a so so show. But then again... I made the show really good . Don't ask me, I'm biased. I have a hard time trusting my opinion. I fear I might be delusional. Look.... I have thought I looked great some nights and then someone will take a photo and a day later send it to me and I am mortified that I THOUGHT I LOOKED GOOD THAT NIGHT. So what else am I wrong about?? I'm gonna trust me....what do I know? At this show on Sunday I did 45 minutes. I had a really good set!! Really good. Solid. I zigged and zagged . As great as my set was the year before when my late brother saw me perform this was in another level of good. I felt them liking me. I handled a talker with panache and I just fell into that warm and wonderful place called the zone. I could do no wrong. Everything just clicked and worked. I had to wait for the laughter to subside to continue my set several times. I actually thought I heard rolling laughter. After the show the Booker hugged me. The bar keep wouldn't take my money and people were coming up to me to shake my hand and say nice things. Could it be? I know. I feel it. I AM FUNNIER THAN I WAS A YEAR AGO.
No one has to tell me. I get it. Hard work pays off. Good for me! Wow. With this god awful year .... I got funnier. I just know I have. I own it.
I still have far to go. I am not half as funny as I still wish I was. I want to make people laugh that uncontrollable laugh. The one that you almost forget why your laughing your laughing so long. The Tantric Laugh is what I call it. Or the Multiple orgasm of laughter... Where you feel like they are bypassing your thoughts and just are hitting the laughter button in your Brain. Sam Kinnison did that for me. Jessica Kirson and Rick Shapiro have done this too. Its an organic thing... It is somehow you learn how to trip the brain. I want to be able to do this. Once or twice I have seen people just loose it when I perform. They have laughed so hard they cant stop. I want to do this all the time. I don't know if I have this much talent. Then again. I love and adore many comics who never made me laugh like this. So who knows?

This past Weds night I had 2 spots. Later I was invited to Comix for there Holiday Party. It was the first time I had been invited and not a PLUS ONE. A Plus One is when someone else is invited and they take you. Progress. Several years ago Sal F. took me to a party. I was doing comedy about 2 years. I stood there trying to look like I fit in. I recognised everyone at this party. Bill Burr and Dave Attel, is that Wally Collins over there... I knew most of them no one knew me... It was an odd feeling and I stayed for a very short time feeling like a fraud for being there. Fast forward to 2 years ago when Adam brought me to the Carolines Party as his plus one. Once again there were a bunch of heavy hitters there. There were a smattering of newer comics and Big Guns Like Gilbert Godfrey and Tracy Morgan. It was exciting and as a 4 year comic at the time I was thrilled to just be there. I spoke to just a few people and still felt like I was sitting at the children's table. I did network and had a really great time. Still I felt like I was a voyeur and an outsider.

This year when I was invited to the party at Comix and could bring a Plus One. I invited my friend Tom. He met me at my home club where I was to do 2 shows.
I was feeling great... I was still feeling High from the great set I had on Sunday and I couldn't wait to hit the stage. I had a new joke that I had been opening with over the past 8 shows and it was hitting solid every time. I hit the stage and start the first part of the three part bit. The room was young which hasn't been a problem for me. There were two middle aged
couples one on the side and the other right in front. I do the opening line and silence. Hummmm.... I do the second part, a polite chuckle... Fuck!!!! were tanking here. I am in for a penny in for a pound and have to do the third part now sure they are not with me..... and Yes ..... a laugh from Tom and the two older couples and DEAFENING SILENCE. So its safe to say this plane is in trouble. I move on to some material that I know is solid and the plane is nose diving. I am in the BOMB ZONE. I decide that I'm doing this set for me. I stay happy and animated. I push .... the plane lifts a bit.. I pull a few short jokes with hard punches. I cant hear the silence is so loud. I embrace the bomb. I haven't bombed this hard in over 4 yrs. I haven't had a really shitty set in months. I was due. I was so due. I do a bit of crowd work and it hits soft and then a joke and it falls flat. I say goodnight and leave the stage with my ass in my hand. I have eaten it raw. It was a big hairy bear claw of a bomb. Best of all I was so sure I was going to get up there and show my friend Tom how amazing I am.... Well he saw me suck... I stood outside the room and wanted to see if the next comic would fair any better... he did well . So it was me. They hated me. Soon it was time for me to do the second set of the night and It went much better. I was afraid. I would give the set a B-. In all honesty I liked the way I did the bomb set better. Oh well it was one bad night... I was due. If I'm a pro I have to learn to eat it like a pro. It stung but It comes with the job. Thank God its the exception to the rule. I needed the humility of a bomb.

We left the club and drove down to Comix I got a spot across the street.NICE!! I walked to the door person and said my name. I'm Robin Fox and this is Tom my plus one.
I walked into the bar. It was so different from any party I had been at before. I knew most of the people there and amazingly most of them knew me too.
Some of the City headliners greeted me and we talked and laughed. I had some comics say some very nice things about my work to me. I had a few comics invite me to work with them. One comic a TV headliner asked me to be her guest at a club she was doing this weekend that I have wanted to get in at. You' ll come she says .... Ill introduce you.
I spoke with old friends and made some new ones. No more was I feeling like the little kid sitting at the kids table. I had a feeling that I had arrived in a new place. I felt I belonged.
I was proud and grateful all at the same time. I enjoyed the night and didn't want it to end. Life is good.

Many years ago I was went to a wedding of my parents friends daughter I was their Plus One sortof but not really. The Bride was a PA on the original Sat Night Live. She had married one of the head-writers. The mom had invited me to come to the cocktail party before the reception. Just the Cocktail party and ceremony. Not the Reception. My moms friend knew I was a huge SNL fan. Gilda might even be there!!! ( She wasn't she was ill) There would be several of the original cast members from the show there and other celebrities. I was a huge fan and was excited to go. I was in my early 20s. I stood online to get a drink next to Jane Curtain, Al Franken was eating pasta and spilling half of every bite on the floor while he struggled to hold a drink and eat standing up. I spoke to the brides brother and he introduced me to Storm Fields the HOT Weather man in NYC at the time on WABC-TV. He is the son of Dr. Frank Fields who reported weather in NYC for over 40 years. I wasn't a comic at the time.... but I was always hiding behind being funny. I liked to make people laugh it was something I could do well and I felt gave me a social edge. I had a group of these guys laughing . Storm was laughing and asked me who I was. We got a drink and we just hit it off. I was coming out of a horrible depression at the time. I was what I thought obese... I was 165 lbs and a disgusting size 12. Ugggg Id do anything but diet and exercise to be that size now. I used my humor as a cover for my lack of hotness and it worked. Storm and I sat together during the ceremony and whispered snarky remarks during the ceremony. We got the giggles and were afraid we would draw attention to ourselves. I still remember some of the lines I said that got a laugh that night. As we walked out into the lobby I said goodnight..... I'm like Cinderella Its time for me to go. My parents are the ones invited I'm going to drive home now.... I was invited to just come oggle all the stars and now I must say good night.. I wasn't sad to go .... It had been so much fun. More fun than I had had in a long while. I was satisfied and ready to go home. Storm was flabbergasted!!!!! What do you mean your going home. That's ridiculous. I never heard of such a thing! Look I was suppose to bring a date.. I will talk to the brides mom you'll be my date. (it wasn't a date.... I was to be his PLUS ONE) The world stood still. Jane Curtain walked by she mentioned to Storm she would see him at the table. Wow I will be sitting at Janes table. No I should go. I cant. Storm grabs the mom and says. I was suppose to bring a date would you mind if Robin filled in for her and sat with me. The moms face looked shocked and put on the spot. Storm smiled his movie star smile and she told me to ask the matre de to find me a seat at the table. I found her and Storm asked her if they could add a seat at his table. She said it was filled to the Max but she could put a seat for me at the one to his back if that was okay. I say no... really thank you but ... I should go.
He insists. He asks the others if they mind.... they all say sit. So we talk back to back and my table continues to fill up. The woman at the table who said sit sit... was Rosie Shuster. Tom Davis was next to her . Al Franken was to my right a very skinny woman who looked like a wire hanger with legs was to my left and next to her sat Lorne Michael's.

Lorne is looking right at me.... Who are you he asks??? I'm Robin. I'm the stand in. (gulp) I explain all that occurred and he nodded his head the rest of the table all smiled and actually were very nice. I just listened and laughed... they were all smart and quick. During the salad everyone was listening to each person talk and Tom Davis mentions he is buying a classic car. A 1965 Impala... I mention that I in-fact drive a 1964 Impala. Classic in the fact that my parents kept cars till they died. I tell him how truck drivers pull me over and want to buy my car. He asks me if I drove it there that night and I explain I came with my parents in their car. I remember at one point saying something and the entire table laughed. The conversation turned to the Ruttles special that Lorne had produced and aired earlier in the week. Lorne asks what was on ABC and CBS against us. No one knows. I do. I say something funny.... about being a human TV guide. Everyone is smart , funny, and they are warm and nice to me. I feel like I fit in with these people in some organic way. Rosie is especially funny and nice to me. I am not thinking if I can get a job with them or how can I use this to my advantage. I'm just enjoying the surrealness of it all. I'm just in the moment. The groom comes to the table and stands behind Lorne and puts his hands on his shoulders. He spots me and his face makes a scowl. Who are you! In unison they say... Shes the stand in. Envelopes are passed to the groom. He leaves. A few minutes go by and people are dancing. Storm taps me on my shoulder... I turn around Its not him Tapping me. Its the matre de. She whispers in my ear. I'm so sorry but the person who was suppose to be in your seat is in the lobby.. I'm going to have to move you to another table. Mortified. I try to process. I get up and say excuse me and walk out of the room. The matre de says let me find you a spot if you wait here. I decide to leave. It was too good to last. Oh well it was fun while it was fun now its not. I tell the matre de don't bother I'm going home. I go outside into the parking lot it is made of gravel. I start to cry.
I know that the Groom was angry and wanted me out of his A list table. I feel foolish. Just then the brides mom is standing at the door calling my name. Robin Robin come back. I wipe my tears and say I'm sorry Misses B. I'm going home . I didn't mean to ruin things. It just happened . It wasn't my Idea to stay. I shouldn't have stayed I'm sorry. She grabs my arm and says NO you cant leave now.
She and my mom have been friends for over 30 years. She drags me back. I just want to go home. She says didn't you feel out of place with those people??? There very different?? There not like you You must have felt out of place. there not like you. There a very different ilk of people..... Yes she said Ilk.... I say, you know what Mrs.. B. I liked them.. and you know what... the only difference between those people and me that I could see was that they have arrived and I haven't. SIDE BAR-------Because what I didn't know at the time was.... they were comedic people. I felt some kind of connection for the very first time . A connection I didn't feel again for decades later when I became a full time standup comic. I never felt that connection at the PTA or with the girls I car pooled with. Every night when I'm in the clubs sitting between shows talking with other comics I feel this connection. I'm with my ilk.

Mrs B pleaded with me to stay. I for some reason gave in. The Matre de then took me to my new table. It was the children's table. Dinner was over. I wasn't served my meal. Two bratty kid were arguing over the name of a liquor that tasted like lickerish. Its Demore no its Kulah . I feel totally humiliated now. I am NOW sitting with children. In in an angry voice say IT'S AMARETTO. Winning the argument between the two 11 year olds. I look over across the room to the table where I had sat earlier. No one was sitting in my now empty spot. I had been extracted. Then Rosie one of the writers saw me and got up and walked to my table of shame. Why are you here? We all didnt know what happend to you. I tell her what the Matre de had told me. She says oh "the groom must have freaked out." Come back everyone wondered where you went and want you to come back. I told her I couldn't. She then sat down at my table. One of the other women from the table whos name I cant recal came over too. I told her about the parking lot and how I just wished I had never come. Just then Storm walked over and asked me why I was at the Kids table. I told him what happened and scolded him saying it was all his fault. I wanted to leave and he insisted I stay and now look what happened. He put out his arm and said I'm sorry.... the groom was a jerk.... can I make it up to you with a dance. He led me to the dance floor I still felt humiliated and yet I was proud of myself for holding my own. The only difference between me and these people I told myself again is that they have arrived. I wondered if I would ever arrive. I took comfort in the fact that even if I never arrived .... I had met these people and knew that they were not much different from myself. We finished the dance and I went home.

Dream on!

2008-10-24T00:00:00.009-04:00

Last weekend I headlined a show in NJ for a charity. I was thrilled to do a long set 45 mins.

I was in a good space feeling sharp and reviewed all my material. Just to have the bits all fresh in my mind. It went very well. The audience was all middle aged and lets face it if I cant do well in this room where can I?

In someways long sets are easier for me than short ones. My character gets a chance to develop and the audience gets drawn into my world. You get the full picture of my point of view and each joke builds upon that. I can think on my feet and can shift around based on the feel the room is giving me. I am good at this and seem just to know by instinct which bit should come next and keep it free flowing. I make up stuff on the fly too and it all feels organic fresh and real to me.

In the city I do mostly 10 minute sets where I am able to connect well too. I choose a few ideas and string them together as I go. If the room is tourist I go one way ... if its young college kids I go another. Nothing is cast in stone. It has worked for me. I'm not saying that every set is fantastic....but I do feel that I seldom bomb, I deliver solid sets and kill at least 20% of the time. By kill I mean really kill..... where it is obvious something special just happened and not just in my head.

The hardest set for me is a showcase set. These are the sets that used to be my best. When you start stand up you get 5 minutes. So I wrote and wrote but when I got up to a mic I had in my mind just what I planed to do and did the same set over and over. If something better was written I would drop a lesser joke for the new one. In the past several years actually I did very well with my set 5. I made it to the finals of several contests, passed at many clubs and proved myself to my peers and bookers.

I have some very big goals in comedy. I want to perform as an opener for a major act within the next two years. I want to get a TV credit doing stand up. I want to perform in a major room in a casino or theater. I want it all.

I have been watching a great deal of late night talk shows to see what kind of sets you need to do to get on a show like Letterman, Ferguson etc. It needs to be a tight 5 or less in most cases. Some of the best sets I have seen on these programs have been .. Bill Burr , Al Lubel and Joe Divito. My sets have lots of jokes.... but there not set up punch jokes. Taken out of their context they seem kind of weak and lame to me. Its the build up and context of my material that makes it work. I learned this the hard way when I put together a set for Last Comic Standing. I took my material and just cut out all the extras and did the joke part. It wasn't strong enough or it just didn't connect without the context of who I am.

Then I thought about it. I'm not a joke teller. I'm as stand up comedian and my brand isn't just one liners. Making my jokes into one liners does them a dis service. So back to the drawing board. I am better off telling 3 jokes in their truest form than trying to squeeze 15 in.

I tried to write shorter jokes and that has been a challenge. I have tried to look at what jokes convert better than others in a streamlined edition. It is daunting.

Even more daunting is dreaming BIG. It is hard for me to put down in writing no less on a blog that I want the things I listed. Truth be told that is my ultimate. I want to get these things so that I can play better shows and make more people laugh. The thing about dreaming big is this industry can be soul killing at times. I will be all gun ho..... and get a major opportunity. Then something goes wrong or I do well and don't get it...and I feel why do I set myself up to feel like I'm failing. I'm doing well at this! Look how far I have come. Look at all I have done. Look how I made this all happen from nothing. So be happy I say with what you have. If you never do anything more than this I tell myself you should be satisfied. Then I feel okay for a while .... I just go with the flow and do it for the love of it. I have a killer set and I say to myself your wrong not to dream BIG. Your selling yourself short Robin!!! I get mad at myself and re claim my dream and sooner or later it all starts over again. I feel like I'm in a big circle. The thing is I may be going in circles but little by little I am moving toward my dreams.

Other than my family nothing means more to me. Its not just my ego. Its my need to make some kind of impact and recognition for who I am and what I do. Do I think Im funny and deserve my dreams? I'm not satisfied with my comedy as is. I so want to get stronger so much so that it is undeniable that I deserve what ever my goals are.

I am sure I could get more work if I focused more on the business end of comedy. If I marketed myself better and did somethings that I see other successful comics do. It just is I am so focused on the performance. Coming up with new material that's better and smarter is of ultimate importance to me. My favorite part of doing this is having a show and killing and a person coming up to me after telling me they were out of breath from laughing so hard. Nothing and I mean Nothing is more thrilling to me. Give me a person who peed in their pants and I am the reason and you made my day, month , year!

Yesterday I did my first Television thing. Its a TV credit but it wasn't stand up. I will be on Cinema Therapy. The shoot was in Central Park. I had a 12:30 shoot. I left my home at 10 am. Traffic and parking is an unknown. My daughter was home and I had to bring her back to the city so she and my puppy Sammy and I all went in together. We got into the city in record time. Parking was another story. There is no where to park near 72nd and Central Park West.

I couldn't find a space close enough. My shoot was according to the map in the center of the park and If I parked in a space it would only be for an hour and I didnt know how long all this would take. I parked in a no parking zone and left my daughter who is 21 and the puppy in the car with the keys if she had to move.

The directions given me by the PA were wrong. It said make a left when it was a right. 15 minutes walking in the wrong direction and another 15 back to where I started. There are no signs in that park except the signs that tell you where you are. There were no signs that said this way to Strawberry Field.... until you were in Strawberry Field. 30 minutes later I found the shoot and was right on time.

They did my makeup and it was chilly. My cell rang and it was a major comic calling me. Oh my. He needed a favor. Sure I thought I would love to go on tour with you..... when. No. He wanted to know if I had a joke similar to his. Did I hear anyone else do this joke. I assured him the joke sounded completely original to me. He thanked me and I hung up. Oh well. That's what happens when you dream big.

The director shouted out some questions. The host asked a question relating to the film. It wasn't my turn I found out we all would be asked the same questions. I listened and thought of my answers to the questions. Trying to think of something strong and funny to say. One question could be answered with one of my stand up jokes.... this is good. I came up with some other funny answers to the other 2 questions. Finally my turn came. Chuck Nice lived up to his name and was very gracious. The question came and I inserted my stand up joke. Chuck and the crew all laughed. The next two questions went also very well. The PA told me it will air on WE entertainment and she would email me the air date.

So I broke the TV barrier. Living the Big Dream! I went back to my car and my daughter had been in the car for an hour and a half. I thanked he for helping me out and she was so supportive and happy to help me. My puppy was thrilled to see me and licked my face and was so happy I had returned . Sarah was so happy for me. I am so grateful to feel the love that is in my life. Truth be told I have a very nice life.... When I was young I dreamed of having a happy family and a dog I have that and 2 dogs...this was my Big Dream. I hope I am allowed the gift of more than one dream.... I'm greedy I guess. I'm grateful too.

Skin Deep.... written Aug 26th

2008-08-26T00:02:00.005-04:00

I forgot to post this.......

The other day last minute I decided to go to Costco for just a few things. When I went to look for my card I realised it must be at home. I went to the counter to get a day pass. First let me say this dont go to Costco on the weekend.... Its a mad house. I stood at the end of a line of 4 people with three people behind the counter working as fast as they can to service us all. Just as Im waiting sure enough some idiot just walks up and cuts the line. No one says anything. I now have to decide if I should be the Bitch and say something. Sure enough I speak up... Excuse me but we are all in line over here. Well I was in line over there. Sure enough there was another line for just the one guy on the side of the counter and he told her to go over to our bank of service people. Sorry. Not to be made to feel like I was out of line to the others waiting I say.... you know they should have a rope like at the bank or numbers like at the deli. Nothing. Am I the only one who doesnt like waiting???

When my turn comes they ask me for my licence. I take it out and notice. Its expired. WTF!! I guess with all that has been going on in my life I forgot to check. I finished up my quick shopping..... Quick for me is an hour at Costco. I feel this strange need to look at everything. So $165 later Im back in my car with a ton of paper products and more fruit than any 3 people could eat before spoiling and $60 dollars worth of beef. Let me say that I never thought I would ever by $60 dollars in beef and get only 5 steaks out of it. I will be eating plums for breakfast lunch and dinner and I will freeze the beef and dole it out like its gold.

I checked though the mail and found my letter from the dmv saying I needed to renew.... in person. I would need 6 points of identification. My expired licence would count as one... if it was valid it would be worth 4. I have a current passport that would be worth 4 point. I needed just one more. Birth Certificate..... HA!!!!! Im a woman and changed my name Robin Harlan no longer exists.... I would need to bring my marriage certificate.... I dont know where it is? I can bring an IRS statement... that would mean getting my husband involved. A health insurance card..... counts as one and that is what I used. Its like playing bridge. I am grateful to have health insurance for the obvious reasons and the fact that the card counts as one point! I also need a letter with my name and address from the government.... I find something in the draw and grab it and go,

I have to get my car inspected also.. so I decide to make a day of it. I decided to go at 2 hoping to miss the lunch crowd. Well that sounded like a good plan... but who knew that so many people had free time during the day? I went to the Edison branch. Everyone says that things have gotten so much better since they privatised the DMV.... I wasn't so sure. The first thing you see when you walk in is a sign on the door saying no cell phones in use allowed inside. I walk up to the receptionist desk. There is a cop standing there also. I stand on line and wait my turn and hear people getting upset because they don't have the proper id... thus the cop.

He checks all my id and then I hand him the letter with my address. He says the card I brought saying I needed to fill out and renew my licence was enough. Might be nice if the card stated that somewhere on it.

I am told to go to the next table to get a blue card. It takes a second to get it. There are 4 women handing out the blue cards. The blue cards are nothing more than a number to tell you when its your turn. I have number 26. I ask what number are they on none of the 4 women know.

I look for a seat. Who looks like there not contagious or have lice. Nothing against immagrints but it looked like the immigration office and not the DMV. Edison has a large Indian population. Highland park has religious Jews. There were Latinas and Asians and and equal amount of white trash and the only black persons were working behind the counter. There was a young mom who's son wanted her attention. She told him to shut the fuck up. No shit in public. He wanted soda.... finally she got him one an he dropped it and she hit him. He couldnt have been more than 3. Im watching all this like its Jerry Springer wondering if Im the only one appalled. There are signs every 3 feet saying no cell phones allowed. The man across from me is on his phone having an argument and trying to make a business deal. There at number 11....

There are 2 windows open for drivers licences. Two. Why are there 4 women handing out numbers and only 2 windows to process licences. Why do they need 4 women to hand out a number??? They call the guy next to me up to the window and a nice lady in her 60s sits down next to me. She had been sitting next to a family with 3 kids and a baby making a racket. We talk a little and shes a realtor. I mention the cast of characters in this place. We talk about the mom hitting the kid. I never hit my kids never. I was hit and spanked and I blame it for me becoming a comic. It just makes you hate the people your suppose to love and not trust them. Now that this one guy is on his cell phone the entire room it seems has gotten on their phones.

Finally they call my number. The woman behind the counter is lovely and it goes rather smoothly. Then I realise that they are going to take my photo with my horrific hair cut. Yes it still is bothering me. My hair looks like a blind man with hedge clippers cut it. ... Two weeks later. Sure enough this hair cut will live on for the next 3 years when ever I look at the dam licence.

It took two hours. I went to the inspection station and was in and out in under 15 minutes. I thought I had entered a parallel universe.

Getting up again to do stand up has been going well. Except for the fact that I have felt anxious before each show . I have in general been kind of edgy. Lets face it ... it has been a shitty summer for me. First my brother, then my vacation where I had emergency dental work and got what I thought was flea bites all over my feet. It turns out that I have detrophic exceama what ever you do..... do not google image this. It started out as a small looking bites on my feet. When I came home I noticed I had some itchy bumps on my hands. Two weeks ago I got a huge outbreak all over my hands and feet and ran to the dermatologist. He took one look and said. Oh you have Chronic Detrophic Eczema I will write you a script. Chronic!!!

You mean I will have this all the time. No he says just on and off. It brought on from stress and an allergic response. He told me it happens most to people who suffer from allergic asthma or hay fever. This is me. I was devastated and very itchy. I got stressed and it got worse. I performed a fantastic set and it was the only relief I had that day.... the performance took all my focus off my itch hands. I later got a secondary rash on my back that I can hardly feel unless the rashes on my hands and feet quite down....then its all I can feel.

For years i wondered how health food stores stayed in business. Now I know its for people over 45 who get things that their doctors only know how to treat the symptom. Since getting this diagnosis I have spent day and night researching this illness. I have found out that lack of B12 and Iron is part of the problem.... I have both. My gut is leaky..... at least thats what they say....online and my liver needs cleansing. I need to take B13 Iron a multi and calcium everyday which I have been doing like my religion. I rub on it Hydrogen Peroxide and take vinegar soaks, or tea soaks. I also need to find White Oak bark , fire bush leaves to make a tea, flax seed oil, milk thistle, evening of primrose and a partridge in a pear tree. Im doing yoga and Im meditating 2 times a day. I am officially an old piece of shit. A great deal of this is due to running myself down to the point I was afraid of....... I burnt the candle on both ends and now Im itchy from it.

Im going to talk to an immunologist. I cant have this... here is why. I am a complainer when it comes to my well being. If Im cold .... I will announce it to all who will listen. If Im tiered I will do the same. If my feet are sore.... and so on. My poor family and friends Im like 1010 wins every 10 minutes you get the eczema report. Its flairing on my hands now but my feet are fine today.

Blank and Blue

2008-08-11T01:55:00.008-04:00

Last Weds night was my first night back at my home city club. It was great to see everyone again. One of the nicest things about working at city club is the variety of comedians I have gotten to know and work with. From newbies to seasoned pros at this for decades. What I like the most is that I feel like I am one of them the special breed of working city comics. Many of them hadn't heard about my brothers passing and it had been more than 6 weeks since I had been there. I was anxious most of the week thinking about getting up again. I am emotionally fragile and raw. I'm irritable and easily stirred up into an emotional snow ball. The fear of failing is overwhelming and I don't know if I can even deal with not doing well and fear it spinning me out of control and into a depression or worse making me want to give up.

My first show I hosted and it went better than I had hoped. I was on my game and actually had fun up there. All the fear went away with the first joke hitting hard. The second show was a 6 minute spot. I got up and I did my first joke to a mild response. The room was packed I felt nervous. Then during my second joke a kid yelled out " Nice Tits." I said " Did you just say Nice Tits? Well your the first in 2 decades thanks." I went into my next joke and his remarks and the feeling of not being in control of the room got to me...and unnerved me. I went to think of my next joke and got stuck in my head and not the moment. Then I blanked out. Nothing was in my arsenal of jokes. I stood there frozen. I then said" I'm feeling a little Rusty after being away for 6 weeks due to a death in my family and hey I'm old. Then out of no where I just abandoned my set and talked about how people showed up at the memorial who never ever came to my kids bar and bat mitzvahs, or my parents 50th or 60th anniversaries etc. Then I out of no where.... I made up a funny line about funerals and it got a good response. I said to the room and on that happy note I'm gonna say good night. Then I see the mc isnt in the room.... I then say or not. I ask the room to all at once on the count of 3 say the mc's name. Still no mc... So I launched into my dirty set and ended my misery. As I exited the show room I went up to the manager and told him, My first show I hosted was wonderful this one was not my best work. He told me not to worry and that I am just back and it will come back ..... just relax. I looked up and there was Carl my husband with our new puppy in his arms. He had driven me in for my first night back in the city and stand up. He knew it might be a rough night and was right.

Let me say that puppies are an excellent way to prevent depression. I can never curl up and stay in bed all day , he needs to eat , to play, to go out, to play, to play , to show me how much he loves me. Sammy has been the single reason to smile many a day. Even so I hurt from the bad set. It lasted into the next day.

I was shaken and fearful of a show I was to do Sat. night. It was a private show booked by a club manager in the city. I mentioned to the Booker that I had been off for a while. He told me he knows I'm a pro and that I am a perfect match for this show. I had 2 weeks to prepare and I would be fine. Well with 2 days to go before this show I wasn't so sure. I was being paid a very well to do a half hour. I would be doing this show alone. I took this gig the day after my brothers memorial and was full of self doubt and fear when I booked it.. Now after the rough night I was even more fearful. I was extremely irritable all day Thursday and Friday. Thursday I got a phone call that would add another ball in the air.

I was called by a local organization and asked if I can book a comic to do a half hour for high school and college kids. It was the staffs year end party, for a day camp. I am not right for the gig and I had to think of someone to fill the show. It will take a special comic to do this show. I thought right away of Johnny Watson ,who I knew could do a show like this with one hand tied behind his back. Putting this thing together was far harder than I thought it would be. Johnny had a gig out of town he was trying to re arrange and I needed to find someone else just in case he couldn't do the show. It took me two days and hours of emails and phone calls to make it all come together. In the end, Johnny couldn't make it and I booked Rodney Laney. I asked several other comics and it was stressing me out and making me wish I just passed on the entire thing. I know Rodney is perfect for this show and I am sure he will be well received.

My daughter was home from the city and needed to use my laptop. She went on to her Myspace. She then didn't sign out. I signed on and by mistake entered the wrong email address and locked myself out of the site.....and I couldn't access my contacts and the rest of my page. I told myself not to panic and then something snapped inside me. I had a complete and total melt down. I'm talking hysterical ..... not able to cope and crying and screaming my head off. Finally, I figured out what I needed to do to get back in to the site and calmed down. I was shaken by my loss of control and outburst. I scared my college aged daughter. She told me I had to take it easy and maybe was pushing myself too fast and hard.

During the day I spoke to a woman named Pat who books me from time to time here in NJ. She is one of the nicest bookers I know. I told her how fearful I was doing the one woman show the Sat. to come. She gave me some good advice and told me that I would be fine. The day of the show she even sent me an email wishing me good luck on the show that night. You have to be grateful for people like this in your life.

Later that day My teen age son came home from work and was in a bad mood. I was in a bad mood. Then Carl came home in a bad mood and me and my son had a fight. He spoke fresh to me.... as most 16 year old boys can do at times... but my patience was long gone and missing. My husband mixed into the argument and made it far worse. We now were all at it. I decided to leave the house and get a cup of coffee and cool off. I drove up the street and parked my car and waited to calm down before I risked driving . I called Linda Belt a dear comedy friend and asked if she was booked this weekend. I wanted to bail out of the gig.... something I have never done before for this reason. It would be totally uncool for me to cancel but I was sure I was going to be spending the weekend in a mental hospital. The pressure of a one woman show riding only on me and being this upset following a blanking out onstage had me paralyzed. After not doing stand up for close to 8 weeks the subtleties of my jokes were missing from my brain. I could remember the jokes but not all the meat. I was upset, what was wrong???? It felt at that moment like everything.

Linda listened and told me she did have personal plans that night but she would break them to help me out. I knew if I backed out of this gig it would be a bad career move. I didn't know what I should do. Just the fact that this woman was willing to break her plans and drive 6 hours from Ct to help me calmed me. The kindness was a huge emotional band aid. We were on the phone for close to 2 hours.

We even got off the topic of my shitty few days and my fear of doing the show. I found myself at one point in the conversation feeling much better and feeling like I was okay. Linda is a total pro. I like to think in this respect we are the same. Just talking to her reminded me of what we both do. I consider her a total equal and somehow hearing her calm steady voice and confidence re-booted my emotional state and judgement. I told her not to break her plans. That I would just do whatever I needed to to prepare and not only do well ....but ace this show. I have to say to anyone doing stand up, its so helpful to know you have a friend like this in comedy. A wing man, a person who will have your back and that you would do the same for in a heartbeat. If you don't have one make it a goal if you do have someone like this cherish them. I had found myself in the calm and fun and caring of a friend. I had gotten lost in the pressure, and fear of failure and the family frustrations. I was able to see myself outside the drama. I was able to know I would and could be okay. ( or at least that is what I told myself)

I went home and locked myself in my room. I was to begin again getting ready for this show. I put my personal life and emotions on hold somehow. The gig was a 40th birthday party. No other info was available to me. I took out my 2 main comedy marble notebooks. I read them cover to cover. I notated the jokes I wanted to put in the set. I then drew up a set list. Then I wrote half of the set that was giving me trouble in long hand. Long hand- tattoos in a sense the jokes to the front of my brain. I then looked at the clock hopped in the shower and did my set out loud in the shower and timed it for the half hour, later I said it again. Then I wrote the set list from memory and checked the master list. It was all there.

The next day I avoided my family and wrote my set list on my hand so I could look at it all day. I did the set again on the way to the grocery store and said the rest softly to myself holding my cell phone next to my ear pretending to talk on it as I continued to finish the rest of the set as I shopped for food. Yes Im a " Tella-Phoney" I glanced at my had a few times... as I drove home trying to drill it into my brain. I glanced at it and recited the list as I did laundry and made the beds. I ate dinner and read my book and the longhand versions of the jokes. As I drove to the gig I said the set out loud again....

I left 2 hours ahead for a 50 minute drive. I wanted to get there and relax and go over my set and notes. On arrival I checked in with the husband of the birthday girl. Okay it wasn't just women as I had been told. I can still do most of the jokes. I then asked about his wife. Was this a surprise party? Did she know? Who was in on the deception? Are your parents here? Is there anything out of bounds?? No F words... no problem. Nothing gross. I told him my gross and graphic joke..... he laughed and said it was funny. I shook his hand and told him I would be out by the bar and to call me when he needed me to start. I stuck my head in the room . Men and women 35 to 50. I can do this. I felt so prepared that all the fear and dread had left me.

I opened up with crowd work. All in the moment and new. Nothing canned. I asked knowing the answer.... Did you know this was a surprise party? I asked who was in on it? I made a joke how she will never ever trust these deceivers again. I said how can you trust them?

I then made a joke about them keeping secrets .... what else aren't you telling her etc. I then commented how fit she was for 40. Turns out shes a fit model. Sorta like a body builder but not so extreme. I said can I ask you a personal question. What size are you? She got embarrassed and wouldn't say. I made fun of her. She's ashamed shes just a 4 and not a 2. I know how you feel being a 14. I feel your pain. I had her and her husband.

I moved into my set and it was flawless. I forgot to be nervous. I was back. I couldn't have asked for a better set or response. I was filled with pride and relief. People came out to the bar and were full of compliments. I drove home happy. Sunday I hoped that things would calm down on the family front and they did. We all kissed and made up.

Last night I returned to the city for a full night of stand up. I left with lots of time so as not to stress if there was traffic. Turned out there was a ton of it. I was listening to the car radio. I was in a good mood. Just then the Pretenders - I'll stand by you - was on the radio. I was just turning the helix on the way into the Lincoln Tunnel when the singer kinda crys the lyric...... I started to cry!!! It took me by such a surprise. I wasn't feeling emotional. I cried my way through the entire tunnel. As I hit the other side I felt better for having cried. I cried because I was remembering my brother seeing me perform in the city. He would come and shadow me the entire night. He loved coming with me. He would root for me and pump me up. I needed him tonight and he was gone.

I was booked on the 7:30 the family show. I was nervous. It was an 10 minute set and Its different every show. I like to do the set not as a firm set like my weekend show was. I have an arsenal of material and choose each joke as I go. Feeding off each response from the joke before. It went very well. I was hosting the 9:30 and the 10:30 double hosting. No stress here.....NOT. I went to the manager and asked if this was a mistake and he said, no its easy. That's 3 hours of hosting. I decided to do a strong 8 minutes right upfront with limited crowd work. It worked! I just made the jokes seem more conversational in tone. Was it a killer set ....No, but it opened the room. I did a few one liners in each show in between comics amounting to little or no time.

Then I did a 10 minute set on the 11:30 it was a solid fun set. My Pal, Laurence Mallroony who I met from Philly's funniest contest a few years earlier was on the show. He watched the set and said .... Solid. I felt it in my bones. It was. As I got ready to leave the club I was squaring up things at the front desk when the opener for the 12:30 hadn't shown. I asked should I hang around you need another comic? Yeah! Let Robin open shes strong she can do it with no problem. Oy.... dont jinx me. Laurence opened the show. They were a typical thuggy 12:30 show, young rowdy crowd. They were shouting out and a sure sign of things to come. Before the show even started they were going up on the stage and fooling around. Fear returned.

Couldn't leave well enough alone Robin!!! Had to open your mouth and now do this. I came up with a game plan. I would address the rowdy girls who were celebrating a birthday. The loudest one had very large breasts. Not fake ones just large ones. Grandma large not Pam Anderson large. I get up and say Happy Birthday !!! I sing ? " Its your birthday ... happy birthday.... How old are you? She says 27.... I say you looked young ,your boobs are still perky...... the room roared. She had announced to the mc that they were like double ffs. I went on to say that considering how large they were them being perky was quite a big deal. Then I shamed the audience. I said like you didn't see them walking in the room 10 minutes before she got here Noooooo!!!! I was in the zone. They were with me and I was with them. I did a take no prisoners set. Raw and tight.... I did new stuff and old .... I zigged and zagged .... I had an A plus set. Then as I left the stage the mc high fived me and said Way to go Babe. I walked past the next comic who is a good pal and he said......... How am I gonna follow that??? I said," Very well... that's how".

I drove home ..... from my other home on the stage. It was good to be back.

And then there were two.

2008-08-01T03:05:00.006-04:00

Once again thanks to all who wished me condolences on my brothers passing. So how am I? Miserable. The last time I blogged I mentioned how my brother had lived in Ca. and that he chose to be cremated. It takes over a week to process a body and that caused a delay in the funeral for him. Shiva the Jewish mourning period couldn't begin till after he was cremated. In Most cases Jews are buried within one day of death and the mourning starts. It has become clear to me in a very real way that the worst thing that can happen for a person who is grieving is to be alone. The Friday after my brother died was a private hell for me. I cant begin to express the level of grief I felt. It was not only emotional it was physically painful. The night of Craig's passing my Brother Gary and my sister in law Angela met up at my parents home. My brother was to give my parents the sad news and I arrived a few moments later. I had had the horrible job of telling my mom in April how sick Craig was and how dire the situation was. We didn't want to burden my mom with the worry which goes along with a prolonged illness and had Craig and I had decided that it was best to not tell our mom till there was no possible chance for recovery.
My mom our entire life would say that there is nothing worse than to have to outlive your own child. I think she is right and her words were prophetic.

Sad as it was there was some kind of strength in us all being together. We all still knew we had each other and that somehow together we would make through this.
Friday since there wasn't as normally there might have been a funeral.... life when on around us as normal. Normal wasn't what I needed and after living a day of pain and unending grief. I decided that since Shiva would be delayed. ( Shiva is like a wake after the burial without the body in the room. It lasts several days and friends and family and love ones come to pay their condolences. Once again it is a way to help the mourner know that life will continue and that they have much good still in their lives even with the devastation a loss of a loved one brings.) I told my mom we would let friends and family know that we would instead of Shiva start having condolence calls at my moms home starting the next Monday evening.

At first we were going to have to do it at my home 18 miles from my parents home. I didn't want to have it at my parents house. Here was the problem. My mom is 83 and my dad is 87 and needs a walker. My mom takes care of my dad and a 4 bedroom house. She keeps the house very tidy, everything is in its place and with 80 plus year old eyes to my mom it appeared to be clean. It wasn't. Every light switch was black, the kitchen cabinets had a film of grease and the refrigerator door was filthy. The carpets all looked vacuumed with lines from the machine yet the rugs had dirt and stuff all over them. My mom hadn't replaced the bag and was just running over the dirt. The bathrooms were horrible. Mold on the shower ceiling and the shower door looked frosted and it wasn't. There was a smell throughout the home. Old people house smell. It would make me ill to be in this house. Every drinking glass had a film on it. I would cry when I would go there and argue with my mom to let me or some cleaning people come in to do a deep clean. Mom would be horribly insulted and say that her home was clean. So when It was decided that the Mock Shiva was going to be at moms home I had to have a talk with her. The only conversation that was more difficult was the one when I told her about Craig's illness. She got very insulted and said no. I had to take out the big guns and tell her that she had no say in the matter. That she would have to trust me on this .....her house was dirty and if we were to have people in it had to be cleaned. I pointed out the dirt and she balked that it wasn't dirty. That she had just cleaned it a day or two ago. Finally I told her that I wanted to pay for it .... she said that that wasn't the point she had the money. Then I told her mom do it for me. Make me happy. It hurt me to tell her ... your house is dirty, but it is and that she should just trust me on this. She backed down.

Monday morning 4 women showed up at her home and spent 5 hours cleaning. That's 20 hours of cleaning a so called "not dirty house" My mom the first hour sat on the sofa depressed. Some time during the second hour when the women got on step stools and cleaned her 15 feet by 8 foot wall of mirrors she came around. These women performed a miracle of sorts. I cleaned while they did to get my mind out of my head and spent an hour wiping down the filthy refrigerator door and cabinet fronts. The cabinets were beige and by the end of the day they were back to off white. My mom was amazed when she went into her bathroom and saw the difference right away. She actually was happy. The house smelled like it did when I lived there as a kid , clean and with a faint scent of pine. My mom went up to the kitchen sink and said. What did they clean this with... I wash this sink everyday it looks brand new .....and it did. It took a 26 year old 15 minutes of scrubbing to do it and that is what they used....

Most of my parents friends showed up during the day. My husband notified our friends and to my joy so many of them came by each night. Jeanie Knoll and her husband Matt stopped in the first night and I was so touched by their kindness. Relatives showed up too. It was funny some of my relatives showed up for this occasion who never would come to a happy event like an anniversary party or a Bat Mitzvah. Why are people like this.?? Is it that they are there for you when your down because no one wants to have to be alone when they face a sad time? Are they putting it in the bank for when its there turn to mourn so they know you will return the favor when they need you? Or is it that when you have a happy occasion that they cant share in your happiness and are only there for you when your miserable? I guess its a case by case situation.

Tuesday night was especially nice. Sean Eli and Adam Sank drove out to my parents home to pay me a condolence call. They both came with food, Shaun with cookies and Adam with a huge bowl of buckwheat soba noodles that he carried on his lap for an hour. I loved that they came. First of all Sean has always been a good comedy pal of mine and is a good guy through and through. Adam is the love of my comedy life. He is the Gay son,kid and brother I will never have and always wanted. He met my whacked out family at their fullest form. I had a relative that for years I have suspected to be gay. I was able to have Adam track his Gaydar on him. The scan was negative. Just hours later I was to find out my relative was in love with a woman and just bought a big boat and was planning to sail into the sunset with her. My relative is short and over weight..... so maybe the reason he didn't have a woman in his life was he wasn't successful enough to attract the kind of woman he would want till he was in his 50s? Well good for him! I wish him years of happiness and if he gets married to her will be sure if he invites me to dance my ass off at his wedding. At some point in the evening Sean and Adam and I went into the dining room for some desserts and were talking with my family. I mentioned that I had cancelled all of my July gigs and half of Augusts too. I just don't feel funny. I hate comedy at the moment.
Adam looked at me and said..." Your coming to my last show at Therapy this Sunday right??! It wont be the same with out you. He said he'd understand if I couldn't but if somehow I could he really wanted me there. It felt good to be needed but that wasn't enough. The truth is I am so sad to see Adam go. How could I let him leave and not be there at this show? How could I turn him down? I told him I would be there but didn't know if I would be any good in the state I was in.

Thursday was the first day alone since our Mock shiva. My grief returned. My brother wasn't himself before he passed and had said some hurtful things to me. The pain none the less of these words played in my head and I have cried so hard at times I thought I might never stop. I am impossible to live with. I'm bitchy and irritable . On a day to day basis the one happy thing has been my new puppy. I got him June 29th. His name is Samson and he is a miniature poodle and a ball of black fluff. He is a living beaniee baby.
Sammy is so full of life and forces me to be happy.

I had written a few jokes for Adams Roast a few weeks before all of this. Some were better than others. I didn't have enough jokes. I had done one Roast 2 years ago and for 6 weeks I worked on a set and it killed. Here it was just a few days before hand and I had to write something special for someone whom I love no less. Roast jokes....( yes finally something about me and comedy) are a special kind of joke. Hopefully the Audience would all know Adam but you have to write also as if they don't know him and your filling them in on what you know about the Roastee in a funny insulting way. The jokes have to stand alone even if you don't know the person, but to be special they should hit home hard. I wrote about 10 jokes. I had about a 4 to 5 minute set.

I was dreading the show. I couldn't put my finger on what the dread was. Yes I dreaded that Adam going away ...but there is a big part of me that is so thrilled and happy for Adam, so I don't think that was it. What it was truly.... I didn't want to fail , I couldn't emotionally handle doing this show in the state I was in and have to deal with the pain of bombing too. I hate shows that have alot riding on them. Auditions, large events where I headline or charity functions where someone has put all their faith in me for that one performance. Being emotionally fragile made me so fearful and anxious. I stayed in bed most of the day. I put off writing a set list till the last minute. I left the house for the city cutting it very close to being there on time. I had to bring Sammy because my daughter wanted to see him and I had promised a few days earlier. I spent 15 minutes trying to convince a suburban puppy that it was okay to do his business on a sidewalk. He wouldn't go and didn't the entire night....even after Sarah got him at the club just a few minutes before showtime.

The club was packed standing room only. It was hot in there. Adam took the stage to welcome everyone. He got a standing ovation. The night had special all over it. All the comics had worked very hard on their material. The jokes were strong, some delivered the new material better than others. Some by never doing these jokes before went a bit too long in their sets but really the show was strong and as strong as many professional roasts I have seen before. The comics not only made fun of Adam but of each other. There were several jokes about my advanced age. Youngsters....you wait you'll be old too someday if your lucky. There were several jokes about my dry pussy, etc. At the end of the night Adam came up for his responses and really knew me better than anyone and had some killer jokes and lines and did a slaying of me. He even made fun of my brothers passing and it was hysterical.

I'm getting ahead of myself here. Lets go back. So when the show started Adam said the names of each comic and the line up to the audience. The audience clapped as they are trained to do. Then Adam said and The mother of all comedians is here tonight Robin Fox and the room roared and applauded noticeably louder as they heard my name . It felt wonderful. It was a core feeling, the feeling that is why I do stand up. Yes the artistry and creative process is a driving force... but the sound of over 150 people cheering for me fills my spirit and ego like nothing else. It wasn't that they liked me more than the others that made me happy... it was they knew me and were happy and excited that I was there.

I sat and listed to the show. Rethinking some of my jokes. I went over a couple with Chantal Carraro and she gave me some information that I could use to make a joke I had stronger. I was second to last and worried that the room would be tired , hot an exhausted by my turn. When I took the stage, I was home. Therapy is my best room. I actually have fans in that room and a good set is about as close to a sure thing for me. I made a comment to Brad saying....Nice Mom Jeans which it thought of on the spot. Feeling good enough to ad lib is always a good sign that I'm in the right place. I put my notes on the podium and did these 10 jokes for the first time. I knew from experience that as important as material is that the context is often far more important than the content. I was the context. I was in my zone. How I got there is a complete mystery to me. The only time I failed to have a truly great set in this room was the night that all the Therapy all starts were there for the golden globes and I wanted to do as well if not better than the city headliners and regulars. I was in a competitive mode and not up to the challenge that night. This night there was none of that. I didn't have to be the best.... I just didn't want to bomb or to let Adam down ....compacted by the fear of failing in front of my peers. Tonight On Kathy Griffin my Life on the D list she bombed in a room in Tahiti. She made a few comments that I could relate to and have thought myself before. I was thrilled and felt like wow I am a comic just like she is....maybe not as talented or famous on the G list but we react to the same things. She said that bombing is awful and only made worse when you have people you know see it happen. Mario Cantone was there and her failure only felt worse for it. She and he also said that they freaked out when the audience is lit. Who wants to be stared at it throws you off. Mairo said that he likes darkness and the laughter of ghosts to just fill the room. I have said ... I like doing stand up like I like sex... in the dark.

Back to the roast- I had a fantastic tight little set. I ad lib-ed twice and one joke about how Jackie Monahan was too pretty to be a lesbian wasn't on my paper or even a joke it was just a thought I had I ad libed some thoughts on stage and I killed with it. I made it up as I went along. It was so exciting and I actually felt joy. The one joke I was most proud of was about Tom Ragu whom I just met a few months ago who just adore. I said.... Tom Ragu is so fat his blood type is Elizabeth Taylor. I didn't care what the audience thought. I knew some of them would be too young to get it but to the ones who did, it would kill and that's just what happened. I commented to the crowd that I wrote that joke at one of the lowest moments in my life and that if I could do that It makes me know I can go on. I said .... that joke I did for me. I had a confidence and a command that surprised even me. I made Adam and the room laugh and my jokes about him were for the most part silly and gentle. I never felt more like a comedian than I did that night. I shined amongst my peers and I did what I thought I couldn't do... I pushed through the fear if only for loving Adam and wanting to do right by our friendship and I know somehow I will be okay and want to perform again soon.

Today was a hard day. I isolated myself and called no one. I slept most of the day in a depressed stupor. My husband took me out to dinner. After we finishes we got into conversation with the couple next to us. Just talking and being with people made me feel good. I went home and charged my cell phone which has been dead since the day after My brother passed. I took no calls on it...it is mostly only for work. There was a message from my home club saying they miss me and I should take as much time as I need. They also said... your spots are waiting for you as soon as your ready. I was touched. It was so decent in a business that often isn't. I have my brothers memorial service next Weds morning. I am going to call my avails in for the week to follow. I need to be with people ... I need to go back to being me. I don't know if the pain of this loss will ever leave me . I do know that the joy in what I can do is a huge part of me. I do it because its who I am and I love it most of all when I can make a room full of strangers my friends.

The above was written one week ago....
Since then I have been up and down emotionally. I haven't performed. I just was asked by a pretty big person in comedy to do a private party next Sat night. It is the perfect gig to get back on my feet. Its a 40th birthday party for a woman...and her friends. I was honored to be asked and I will be the only one performing. What touched me so was what the booker said about me and why he was hiring me. It feels good to have the respect of someone in his position. Yesterday Weds was Craig's NJ Memorial Service. I spoke at the service. For someone who writes and performs for a living I was blank as to what to write about my brother. The pain was too sharp for me to think clearly. Finally like the night before a term paper I wrote something down.... I don't know if it is proper to post this but somehow I feel I should. I know I will be all right. It just has been very emotional, without my brother passing just spending this much time with others who also are grieving and raw is difficult. Mostly being around me has been difficult. I did have a few bright moments... Going to Adams Roast was one and Adams going away party was the other. I feel much better in the presence of friends and other comics. I will be starting to work as of next week , I need to work.... I am sad today and happy that Adam is beginning his new life with Rob in California. Endings lead to new beginnings. I need to begin again.

The following was the draft I read at my brothers memorial.

I grew up youngest sister with two older brothers. As a little girl I dearly loved, idolized and feared this twosome.
My brother Craig being the oldest dominated the pack. My brother was a super hero to me. He was a big ham and to me it looked like he was having all the fun. He could ride a two wheeler, he performed in plays, there was nothing he couldn't do. One of my earliest memories of Craig was him being on TV in a tele-play of Jack and the Bean Stalk. As a young teen he was on TV on Zacharie's dance show. He played Hockey and my brother Gary and I would drive in the middle of the night with my mom to his games held before dawn. Craig taught me to skate by him and Mitch Buno each grabbing an arm and fast as lightening pulling me screaming around the rink and then letting me go.

To me it looked like Craig was popular and cool and hip. He wore a fringed suede coat drove a motorcycle and dated all the pretty girls in High School. He was handsome and it looked like life was a big party and he was the coolest one in the room. My brother was too cool to be bothered by a kid sister more than 8 years younger than him. I remember being sad and depressed when I was just 11 and he left for college. I felt abandoned and lost.

Yet Craig would want to help me in life. He would point out sometimes the obvious to me and change my point of view. After college when I was 16 he moved back east and we became closer. He live nearby in Watchung and I would visit him and we would talk. I was in love with someone who didn't love me and Craig tried to get me to see it from another angle. Craig was able to communicate to me possibilities.

No one I knew was more determined than him. Craig was larger than life to me growing up. When I didn't know where to go to college he guided me to Boston. Whenever he came home and I was away he found me and came to visit me. Once while I was away at camp and once while I was in College at BU.

We spent many years in a long distance relationship. I flew out to Arizona once while he was in Grad School and spent spring break with him. There were many years far too many years were we didn't connect. We both believed the illusion that time was unlimited.
Most of my 20s and into my early 30s we spoke seldom. He came to my wedding and I and my husband visited him the year after our marriage in Fresno where he finally settled and raised his own family.

Craig came home for Josh's Bris and when Andy his second son came along. He was home for My brother Gary's wedding too. Then we went though the Telephone years. Where we talked often late in the night for many hours at a time. Part phone visit part therapy we examined our lives and upbringing together and shared intimately with each other. Around the time of Craig's divorce we pulled apart. There were misunderstandings many slights and hurts shared by us both. Just about 5 years ago we found each other again. Craig emailed me he had found me on the Comedy Soapbox and left me a comment on my page. He left a funny and beautiful comment full of love and encouragement.

When Andy his son was in the Army in Iraq we spoke on the phone and started to email each other more often. Though our lives didnt intersect often .... I had an un-dieing love and devotion and affection for my big brother Craig. He in life was the Indian Guide or Space monkey if you will .... older and wiser and full of knowledge, power and wisdom.

Then one horrible morning the phone rang. It was the first Tuesday in November two years ago. That night I had an audition for a comedy festival and tickets to see Jersey Boys. The phone even rang ominously. I saw the caller Id and could tell just by his voice that something was wrong. Craig in tears told me he was going to die he has esophageal cancer.

Life as I knew it stopped. Time wasn't unlimited. My brother was on the clock. He asked me to help him with some logistical things and we just cried with each other.
I called my husband and we both cried on the phone. I then sat down and wrote my dear brother an email promising him we would fight this together and that I would be there for him.

I flew out to Fresno 3 times during his illness. I came with alot of emotional baggage. Craig has a beautiful home and was so proud of it. Craig had an intensity to him that had helped him succeed in life, but was difficult at time if you were not on board with him. As soon as I entered the house he had jobs for me to do. I helped him with his expense lists and organized his bills and even changed his air conditioner filter. Craig became as hyper aware and controlling of his environment during his illness. He grabbed hold of this control as his life spun out of control due to his illness. His home amazed me. It was nothing like what I expected. It was warm and cosy and much homier than I had expected. Craig as it turned out was very sentimental and had photos all ove his home of everyone he loved and cherished. To my surprise Mr. cool had photos of our late grandmother we called Nana in every room, by his desk and even next to his bed side.

His music room was filled to the brim and I helped him put some things in order. Deb his fiancee painstakingly organized the 1000s of magic tricks he had and self taught himself and mastered. I learned so much from Craig's home. We had similar tastes in alot of our home furnishings etc... Craig loved his home. He had 100s of friends and he received 100s of cards wishing him good health from friends and patience alike. Many notes and cards were filled with letters of gratitude from a patients telling Craig how he impacted their lives and thanked him for helping them to turn their lives around.

Craig loved his yard and landscaping, the fruit trees and plants. He loved Deb and his sons. he cherished his friends and he knew everyone in town. You couldn't go to a coffee shop or store with our several people stopping to say hello and chat. He loved his pets and Gabrilla the pit bull especially. This dog was so devoted to Craig and when he was going through the rigors of chemo wouldn't leave his side. Craig had a Big life.

We didn't do much when I visited. I came as much to give Deb a break from the constant care she lovingly gave to my brother. As Craig put it..." I'm a hand full". Craig and I during these visits bonded closer than ever. I was in many ways the next best thing to a mom. I'm good at mothering I guess. We talked and we went through our lives and righted and hurt or wrongs even the smallest.

For most of my life I was intimidated by Craig. No more... now, we were now equals. I had a comfort in just being with him. Many days we would just sit and be together Craig would watch TV-- some show on how pencils were made and I would do a sudoku puzzle. I said to him.." Being alone with you is so comfortable it reminds me of being alone with myself and at peace. I was comfortable and comforted with him... he agreed.

That is what I will remember and cherish and miss most about Craig. The small simple moments that were too few. I hungered all my life to he in his life. When I returned home we would talk on the phone for hours. Many times Deb would go out and I would just keep him company for several hours till she returned home on the phone or computer. He didn't like to be alone. I bought a Apple computer and would I Chat with him like on the Jetsons. We would visit for hours on end. Often I would Web chat with him after getting home from comedy at 2 am and chat on the computer till dawn. Many of these I chats would begin with Craig in tears. My only goal was to take his mind off his worries and to distract him long enough to make him laugh. I would tell him my jokes I did that night and repeat a line I loved that I heard that night. He was my biggest fan and loved to hear that I was working hard and doing well. He had an undying belief in me.

One day he came online very upset.... as we talked I mentioned a problem I was having at home. He calmed down immediately and went about trying to help me solve the difficulty I was dealing with. Craig loved helping people fix problems. During his illness Craig and I got to know each other. He was as I have said my biggest fan and when he came home to visit during his illness and a short remission he saw me perform several times a night many nights. He had an undying faith in my talent and never tiered of seeing me perform. He believed in me so much and told me it was just a matter of time till I hit the big time.

I remember a time when I was small being in our kitchen. Craig stood in the doorway blocking me from leaving. He had his hands above him holding each side of the door and his legs were doing the same. He smiled and said... I'm 14 your 7 when are you going to catch up with me??? I said never silly, your my big brother you will always be older than me.

My Brother Craig lived a full and happy life. He loved me always. My last words to him were ..." I will always love you as long as I live". I am grateful for the small moments especially the ones where I felt our love flow though one and other. I will cherish this and Craig's memory all my life.

My biggest Fan.

2008-07-12T01:06:00.002-04:00

My brother Craig died this past Thursday July 10th. He died of Cancer. He had a lousy time fighting this illness. The only glimmer of good that came out of it was that my brother and my entire family bonded in a way we never had before his illness.

My brother was my biggest fan. He was positive that I was to be the next big female comic .... not since Rosanne he would tell me. Your gonna be bigger than her cause your not nuts in the head like her. He was a Psychologist PHD. We became very close during these past 20 months of his illness. I shared moments with him that were so warm and special. I have been dreadfully sad even before his passing. When I got the call from my other brother Gary that Craig had died.... a pain took over me that was and is like nothing I can describe. A grief and a hurt and a feeling like a part of yourself has been ripped out of you.

I think I was working myself so hard these past 20 months in hopes that something big would happen that my brother could see happen for me. He was sure that it was just around the corner for me. On his last few visits home to NJ he saw me perform several times. He never tired of my act. He was the best fan you could ever have. I cancelled all my shows for the next several weeks. I have not been to my home club in a month due to working myself into anemia and bronchitis and mental exhaustion being so emotionally on edge from all of this even before he passed. I cant imagine making people laugh right now. I am so sad. I am beyond sad.

I worked so hard these past 5 years that I have very few civilian friends anymore. I don't have time for them. I worked 3 weeknights a week and most weekends. The 2 nights a week I was home I would crash. I needed some friends to lean on during all of this.... few civilians were to be found. Put nothing into a friendship..... you cant expect much out I guess. Then again.... shame on some of them. A phone call once and a while might have been nice.

The closest friend I had and I spent the most time with during Craigs illness was Craig. We I chatted several nights a week after I finished comedy in the middle of the night and would video chat into the early morning. I would tell him new jokes I would tell him jokes that my friends told that night on stage. He would begin most of our conversations upset and in tears and over several hours I would have the two of us laughing and pull him out of the black hole he had fallen into. I cried with him but tried to be strong. When his cancer returned after a brief remission I didn't cry. I told myself that I would wait till he died to cry, there would be plenty of time then. Every second he was here I would enjoy him.

Now he's gone. I fear there is no limit to my grief yet, I know there is. It comes in waves the grief. Because I have so few relationships anymore due to comedy.... I spent today mostly alone. Seeing Adams post and the comments that were left were amazingly comforting. I would read them over and over. I receive quite a few emails too. My comedy friends were there.... as many of them had been all along.

Right now, making people laugh seems like the last thing I want to do. I know I will get back up but now its not time. I am angry , sad, hungry, nicotine craving...out of my mind and Craig is gone.

I'm a Jew so was Craig. In Jewish tradition you die and they rush you into the ground. Then you eat. You get one day to plan a funeral and a lunch.. Sometimes they extend it.... but you don't hang around. In Jewish tradition... the body is never alone. Till it is buried. My brother is being cremated. Not forbidden in my faith just not our custom. Due to a cremation delay in Fresno.... it might be as many as 14 days or more till his cremation is complete. Jewish tradition says Shiva... the period of mourning cant formally start until that time. My poor parents and the rest of my family are in a holding pattern until this happens. I am not used to this. I have been going to funerals for years. There is a comfort in ritual. In knowing what to do next. I don't know what I should be doing. I went to Temple tonight I wanted to say Kaddish the mourners prayer. I am far from religious. I was looking for comfort in the familiar. I was told that I'm not a mourner till after the funeral . Technically I shouldn't say this prayer till then. Due to my brothers wishes to be cremated. ..... I'm in mourners limbo here. Since he wont be cremated for some time now..... We aren't to have a Shiva till then. This is how it is.... I think of every funeral I have been to where friends and family are together. There is a comfort in that.
I don't have it and I'm upset. The service tonight was comforting. It was outdoors in a court yard under the sky. For a few moments I felt comfort. Other than this... The comedy community was the only comfort I had today. I thank you all for your kindness and your comfort. It meant more than you can ever know.

Comedy Well Done...

2008-06-04T20:38:00.010-04:00

So the big night has come and gone. It was the Premier of the pilot of "Falling in Love with Mike Bocchetti" and comedy show. It was held in an "A" room of one of the best clubs in the city Comix. I was very lucky to be asked to be part of this short film. Then to be able to perform stand up the same night was a big bonus.

I had never been involved in anything like this before and it was all very exciting for me. The project was starring the wonderful funny man Mike Bocchetti It was written and directed by Jay Nog. I didn't know when filming this thing that several other comedy friends were in this project including the very funny Emily Epstein and Laura Nickiforchuck. I have known Emily since the first open mics that we did every week and week out at the Morrison Motel. I miss those days of seeing her all the time. This entire experience was so rewarding in ways that I never expected.

Jay had asked me to audition for this project. I was thrilled to be asked. Unfortunately the day of the audition I had car problems and didn't want to risk going into the city. Much to my surprise Jay a few weeks later gave me the part without an audition. Okay so I'm old , I'm a Mom, I'm a Jew so I was type cast ..... what ever!!! I'm in!!!

It was a really hectic day of Filming .We started early in the morning and I had to leave filming early to be at a show in Philly that night. I sometimes cant believe all that I do in a single day.... And being a mom is hectic but nothing like being a mom and a comedian too. I found while filming that my improv skills helped tremendously with acting and my comedic ability to think on my feet made it fun and easy.

We had a great time doing this project. Jay was patient and so nice to work with. Mike is maybe one of the sweetest men in comedy.

Jay told us that he had made plans to premiere the film at Comix and that we would all get to perform. He was planning on inviting some major industry to the show. I was busy gathering some family and friends to come out to see this. In my head.... It was to be one of those Entertainment Tonight moments. I saw light bulbs flashing for some strange reason and a red carpet. Not... but still fabulous! Carl had a business trip to attend and wanted me to go with him. Of course.... it coincided with 4 big shows I had to do. This one at Comix and another at Gotham next week and another at the former Laugh Factory. I also had a weekend booked in Cherry Hill featuring. How can I go to California? Yes to see my brother but he was in treatment in Las Vegas. So I had to pass. This is the biggest 11 days in my comedy lifetime!

Carl took my daughter instead with him on this business trip / vacation. Just a few days before he was set to go.... I got an email cancelling the Gotham show. The charity producing the show hadn't mentioned the show in their most recent newsletter and having an audience looked to be a problem. I more than understood having produced shows myself. So scratch that one off the list. Then another email came about the Laugh Factory/ Times Sq Art center. show... the show had to be put off due at least for a month or so for reasons I cant go into on here. We plan God laughs.

The comedy screening show at Comix was a blast. I love this club. It is one of the nicest in the city . It was the first club I passed at in NYC and I love to perform here. It is on 14th street just east of 9th. The neighborhood is one of the coolest places in the city now. Not so true 25 years ago when I went to the Old Homestead for dinner with my soon to be in laws for the first time. It is the former meat packing district. Back then It was a good neighbor hood to get shot in. Seedy to the 10th degree the Bowery in many way felt nicer and safer. Now both places I couldn't afford to pay for monthly parking no less live there.

I will never forget that meal for as long as I live. My father in law ordered prime rib well done. When they brought it to him it was rare and he couldn't eat it. The waiters were the most surly old school NYC nasty white lab coat wearing bastards you could ever meet outside of a busy deli. The waiter looked at the slab of black and blue meat and held his arm straight out it to his side then tilted his hand and through it into the trash. Not only throwing out the meat but the vegetables and potatoes . Moments later he came out with another beautiful prime rib. It was a perfect medium with a light pink center. My father in law wouldn't eat anything pink. He called the waiter over and asked if they could put it in the oven for just a few moments longer and it would be just like he would like it. Sure enough.... the waiter grabs his plate.... holds it out to the side and tosses the meat in the trash. The third time the meat came out well done and the perfect shade of cardboard gray and everyone was happy. More and more that NY is not longer around. Its a good thing except for now finding parking is a problem....

The show started on time despite an unfortunate problem with the clubs ability to play the DVD of the film. The sound system and the DVD weren't compatible. They tried and tried but unfortunately they were not able to show the project. Jay opened the show and did a strong 15. I really don't know how he was able to stay composed and pull it off with all the aggravation that had gone on right before the show. I went on next. I wanted to perform my set a few nights before but I wasn't booked anywhere so this was my first time up since the weekend.

I had been in Cherry Hill the weekend before and had a great 2 shows where I featured 2 nights in a row doing 30- 35 minute sets. Doing a feature set verses a showcase set.... I will take the feature set hands down every time. It is so much easier to do a great 30 as opposed to a killer 10. Truth be told to make it in this industry, it is key to have a killer 5 clean. I'm at this more than 5 years and I'm not happy with my clean 5. My naughty not dirty 5 is good and has gotten me where I am but if I want bigger and better things I need to work on stronger and more unique 5.

I had a very good set and opened up the room, this has been my forte in showcase shows lately. I wasn't able to hang out after the show since I had 2 shows up at Ha!. So I thanked Jay and the other comics and drove uptown.

Many of the newer comics help out at the Ha! by working the door. I really never had to do this on a frequent basis. I was moved to hosting shortly after starting at the club and only did it when they were in a jam. I got to the club an hour early and there was no one to work the door. The new guy who normally would be doing it was hosting for the first time that night. So when management asked me if I would mind doing the door for an hour.... I figured it was a nice night outside. Sure.

I had shown up to the club an hour early and here it is 10:30 and I'm working the door when I could have been downtown at Comix hanging out . I was so afraid I would be late I jumped the gun and left. A few short hours ago I feel like a star and now I'm standing outside a club pointing people down the stairs. You got to love this business the highs and lows come faster than a roller coaster.

I did the 11:30 show ,the great thing about my home club is I'm totally relaxed onstage. I did the same set I did downtown and it was as Yogi Berra would say. Dejah vu all over again. I was to host the 12:30 but it got cancelled. I took my time leaving the club chatting with a few of the other comedians. When I headed outside I walked 2 blocks down to 48th Street my car was 2 avenues away on 9th. Just then the sky opened and it started raining . I darted from building to building from over hang to over hang from scaffold to hugging the building like a bug on a fridge.... I jumped puddles in my high heal sandals which were soaked by now and finally waited under the over hang of Starbucks for it to slow down. 20 minutes later it was still going strong and showed no sign of letting up. I was tiered and I decided to just get soaked. I ran down the block fuddled for my keys and jumped in the car.

It was one thirty. I headed to the Lincoln tunnel where I waited to get into the tube for almost a half hour. Then once in the tunnel traffic stopped completely. I sat not moving at all for about 20 minutes. Without traffic at this time of night takes me 45 -50 minutes to get home. Once out of the tunnel they are redirecting traffic off the helix and through the Hoboken exit. I decide to turn on my GPS and go home via Hoboken and get on the Turnpike down by the Holland tunnel. Big mistake. My GPS lost its signal due to the heavy rain and I spent another 20 minutes lost in Hoboken. This is quite a feet considering the entire town is less then 5 square miles. Eventually I found my way to the turnpike and at this point the rain was coming down in sheets. If you know me you know that I have a huge fear of driving in the rain, since a mishap I had in my car last October where I lost control of the car in the rain and jumped the median did a 180 and wound up from the express lane into the local facing oncoming traffic. I wanted to pull over but I wanted to get home and go to bed too. Cars were parking under the overpasses for going driving till it let up. I chose instead to drive the remaining 35 miles in the slow lane driving home at 30 miles an hour. When I got home it was after 4 am. I had left my home that afternoon at 6pm.

What did I learn from all of this? Parking sucks everywhere in NYC. (but I knew that) I still have stage fright on shows that I perceive as special. I am further than I dreamed I would be at this time in comedy and at the same time.... I'm still not to big to work a door. ...and be a team player. I learned to listen to the weather reports and carry an umbrella. To always pee before leaving the club.... you don't know how long it will take to get home. GPS is great but not in the rain sometimes. And lastly.... that this is all so real and all so unbelievable to me. Everyday its like walking on the moon. Who knew this would be my life. Was the night a bad one. Far from it. It was a great night. Some how if I have a great show..... all the other things just don't seem to bother me. They just come with the meal.

This week I will be at Ha! on Tuesday June 10th and Sat. June 14th. I am performing for the Gay Boys at the Ice Palace on Thursday night... the rest of my calendar can be found on my website.................... www.robinfoxcomedy.com

Five minutes at a time...

2008-06-01T01:08:00.003-04:00

I have to say that taking off 2 weeks and cutting back is something I have been saying I should do for sometime. It took running myself down to a nub and getting sick to make me take the time not only to make my body feel better but give my mind and soul a much needed break. As most newer comics we are drummed into our heads that the way to become working comics is simple, stage time, stage time and more stage time.

I started in comedy in my early 40s and that was the only early thing about it. People tell me all the time....well Rosanne started late.... wrong, she started in her early 30s. They say the same about Phylis Diller and Joan Rivers I started after both of them. Factor into that I heard it takes 7 years to become a working comic at a minimum and that was only if you were funny and had some talent. Seven Years that's too long I told myself. I decided that if I worked really hard I could maybe shave off a year or two. Whats the point in working so hard if your too old for anyone to want to book you. So if stage time is road to becoming a comedian then I will have to speed to get there. If most people would do 3 open mics a week I would do 3 a night 3 or 4 nights a week.... from 50 miles outside of NYC no less. Eventually I couldn't stand the open mics anymore. I wanted real stage time! So that was the beginning of the barking and bringing and interning phase. I was lucky with all the work if I got 3 sets in a week. I so wanted to get into booked shows and get in front of real audiences. I used to complain.... How can you get good at something or learn anything 5 minutes at a time???

Well you can. I'm living Proff. In the end a good showcase set has been more helpful in getting me work than some of the great sets I can do that are 30 mins long. I am lucky that I have the balance of working in the city and doing 6 to 10 minute sets and on the weekends featuring at clubs. This became very obvious to me this week. A club I perform at had a showcase of top headliners. These comics play the road but the best road show. Foxwoods, Vegas, the Borgatta etc. Each and everyone of these comedians a amazingly talented and successful. There were 11 of them. Most of them didn't do well it was a packed house of mostly older middle aged people. Most of the comics were 40 or older men. It was the perfect audience married middle to upper middle class couples and married people. Yet comic after comic tanked. Some took it on the chin others made quips at the person who asked them to do the gig. One comic blamed a friend for being there who he said was a jinx because every time hes at a show he bombs.

The MC started the show by saying we got 11 comics to put on so lets start the show. So the first comic had to open to a non warmed up room. The only non headliner was my friend Chris this was to be his challenge. He went up and since he was starting a cold room he truly struggled in his first 5 minutes some jokes hit some didn't. People were ordering food and getting their drinks. He took the bullet.... then about half way through he did a joke that hit hard and got them back. He had a solid set from then on. He got off stage and he walked over to the table in the rear of the club were I was. I looked defeated. I told him that for the first comic of the night he should be very proud of himself. He had to do the job the MC is suppose to do and he had nothing to be ashamed of. In hindsight he might have wanted to do some crowd work first I don't know if he has those skills yet I think he most likely does, he hosts all the time.

The big shots went up and folded one after the other. There were a few exceptions JJ Ramerez had a solid set. He works the clubs in NYC and is used to doing 10 minutes and he did crowd work and he had a great set. Some of the comics bailed on their sets. If after 4 minutes they saw the audience wasn't loving them they had enough. I was there just to watch that night. I sat there thinking I hope a woman is going up there. I knew If I could get up I would have a great set. They were my target audience.... middle aged with kids. A woman comic name Kira S went up about number 6 she not only opened the room wide open she destroyed. She is an LA comic and although she headlines all over the US when in LA she performs showcase sets. Its 7 minutes in LA most nights she told me. She did 10 and it was non stop KILL. The next comic a magician jumped the stage after minutes. Al Lubel went up and had a fantastic set.... they loved him. Then the show closed out with two comics performing at the same time. One would do a rant and the other would follow with his jokes on the same topic. It was good but I have seen one of the two comics do a headliner set at a major club in the city and he was a fraction as funny as I know him to be.

Headliners have the luxury of the long set. They can establish a rapport and take there time grabbing an audience. They also have the advantage that the audience many times is there to see them and that is why they came. Seven or so of the 11 headliners tanked.... having to limit a set to 8 to 10 mins.

For now a good showcase set is very important to me. I have been asked to do some major auditions in the past two years and a showcase set isn't just a best of..... its a set that lets an audience get a true sense of your comedic style and point of view. I think that it should have killer opening joke that establishes who you are some kind of arc and a strong and memorable closer. Anytime I have been passed at a club it wasn't because I just did a killer 30. No they gave me a guest spot and I had to kill in under 6 minutes. Contests are the same way except you need several of these short and strong sets. Al Lubel had a great set .... when he appears on TV they give him 6 to 8 minutes.... he has perfected his short set and that's why I think he did so well.

When I was fortunate finally got passed at a club in the city ( I did a tight 5) I was now able to do more sets in a night and in a week than I ever before. I was like a person who had been starving and then was now at an all you can eat buffet. I gorged myself with stage time. I was doing as many weeks 20 or more sets. I often worked 6 nights a week. I was working from early in the evening to the wee hours of the morning. This is my fast track . This is my gym. I figured I'd work and write and work and work. I have to say it really has made me a stronger comic. It also was insane. I forget I'm only flesh and blood and too much of anything is never good. It took me becoming so run down to see this. I knew it in my head long before I got sick. I often blogged about it. I knew it and yet I didn't slow down..... I was addicted to it. Cutting down seemed in someways like giving up the race. Like most things if you do too much you get diminishing returns. I should have learned this long ago from being a full time mommy and never getting much down time. Live and learn ....sometimes the hard way. I'm stupid that way.

So tonight I had a feature spot in South NJ. It was at a club and was 75 miles away. I was booked to do 30 minutes. I planned on getting there and using the 45 minutes before the show to center myself and prepare. My brother called from California and I took his call. I know my material I will be fine I told myself. It was an upsetting call but I was able to lock it up and go up and have a really great show. I would say it was a kill I wish I taped it. It was a fundraiser for breast cancer and I had a party up there. I absolutely felt more comfortable on stage than I have in ages. After the show people came up to me and were very nice. I even got a few new myspace friends out of the night. A few people said that I came off so relaxed so at ease someone else used the words confidently funny. Wow that was a great feeling.

I am so glad I took a break. Its a day later now and I just got back from the same club. I was asked to do 25 instead of the 35 the night before. I decided to cut my Costo bit. Unfortunately the entire lead in to the joke is a call back to my closer. I had a horrible headache and it was subsiding as I took the stage. The club was half filled and the audience was sitting away from the stage. I found it hard to connect at first. I cant say I did as well as the night before but it was a solid set. I never got in the zone and for some reason I was having trouble following the set list in my mind. I zigged away from the set I was doing to do something spontaneous an then found myself further ahead in my set. I mentioned my sons name on one joke that I do later in the set and his name is the punchline in a later joke. I had to invent a 3rd child. I wasn't focused. Its strange because the night before the pressure of a big room and a long drive getting there and my brother calling me didn't effect me at all. I'm grateful that my material is tried an true and was able to make up for any control I might have lost and pull off a solid set. I did get thrown early on by a killer joke landing soft. WTF.
The night before an applause break tonight just average laughs. I am addicted to killing and often anything less feels like a let down. I like that feeling of leaving the stage and feeling .... and that's hows its done! Tonight I left the stage feeling I'm glad this is done. So the journey continues.

This week I will be performing at Comix on Tuesday night. The show starts at 8pm. It will be the premiere of the pilot I did for Howard Stern TV called Falling in Love with Mike Bochetti. It is going to be an amazing night. Jay Nog wrote and directed the show . After the viewing of the show we will performing stand up... The Comedians performing will be Mike Boshetti , Jay Nog , Emily Epstien ,Laura Nickforchuk and myself. It was so much fun filming this pilot and cant wait to see the final cut. I will be doing my showcase set at one of my favorite clubs in the city. Sunday and Monday nights I will be working honing the set to get it just right and hope to do as many shows as I can to get this one just right.

check out my website at www.robinfoxcomedy.com

Parking for the fun of it.....

2008-05-28T08:57:00.000-04:00

Still taking it a bit slower this week. I took Sunday off and worked on Monday I'm off till this weekend when I will be performing as feature in Cherry Hill for the weekend. They offered me a hotel room and I think I might even take it since it will save me on driving and Gas. I was working so hard before I got sick that I have to say that I wasn't having all that much fun up on stage. Not really. If it was a big gig like the show I did for a Temple I had fear and dread until I got up there and got the first big laugh. I also would leave my home feeling truly like this is a job. I found myself not feeling mentally prepared..... I had been feeling this way since my LCS audition in early March. Anemia will do that to you. Yet my sets were good and I was coming up with new stuff once every other week or so and adding an additional 15 or more minutes to my arsenal
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I did a show in the East Village two weeks ago. I dreaded only going there because of the parking. Its horrific down there... WHY?? no really WHY?? does every hipster own a car?( the abobe photo is not my car but will give you an idea of what I did)
I found a spot and I don't know how I did it but I left an 18th of an inch in front and in the rear between me and the two cars. So much so I drew a crowd squeezing my Marrono into the spot. I prayed that one of the two parties would be gone come the end of the night. The guy who runs the bakery on 12th and ave A came out and later gave me a biscotti on the house for doing such an amazing parking job. Sheer will.... it a metaphor for my entire life and comedy career.

The show was run by a wonderful man named Tom. It was his Ladies Gone Funny show. I was the headliner. Tom Hosted and then his opener does a good 15 and then 4 other girls did 8 to 10 and then I closed the show with 30. 30 minutes in NYC is a gift. Lori Summers opened the show. I have always liked her. She was the host of my graduation show I did at Gotham when I took a class there over 5 years ago. I mentioned to her that I had been feeling like I hit a wall so to speak in comedy. That it all felt so hard and I just didn't know what was next and felt very lost for the first time in a very long time. She told me.... Welcome to the 6 year slump. She explained that the steaks had risen and that it was feeling more like work because in fact that is what it had started to become. I'm making money ... My weekends are filling up and I'm a working comic. Not an A Lister or even a C Lister but a working comic. I feature now most every booked gig I get now or headline if it is a group I do especially well with. Its work. The hours, the driving, the bills, the business end....and its a huge adjustment. I asked her what she found helped her when she got to this point and she said. You have to remember when you take the stage that your doing this for the LOVE of it. Hummmmmmmmmmmmmm??? Tom had a music stand on the stage. On it he had notes. The room was full with maybe 20 friendly folks including the comics. I made a few notes just in case.... when in Rome. It was a work out space and very fluid. Coming off being sick it seemed perfect. I loved the show. I was not thinking about my set all that much and tried to just enjoy the show. Racquel Diapice was there and delivered a great set as well as a woman named Cara who was amazing and very new. I thought about it. For the love of it. I got up and just had a conversation..... I did my jokes but it really was about enjoying myself and the audience. It became a joy ... As I was up there I thought how wonderful is this that I feel so good up here. I thought of all the work and work and work.... and then there is this. A room full of people and just having fun with them.

I offered a ride to Union Sq to two of the women comics for no other reason for them to witness my amazing mad parking skills. The two cars were still there and a small crowd gathered to see me get out of this spot. I did it .... it might have taken 20 moves but I did it!

So much for the love of it. Not every show is a love fest. But just remembering that I used to do this for the love and fun of it was a huge emotional vitamin for me. Not to forget I am now taking mega doses of Iron and B12 and feeling so so so much better. So I did a show for a rabid audience of a very popular radio hosts pack of wild men. It was outside of Philly and I was one of 10 women in a room of over 200 men in baseball caps who wasn't a porno star or a stripper. I had been booked originally to be the feature in a three man show. The show was changed last minute that morning turned into a birthday party for this radio guy. I was to feature but instead was asked to do 10-15. The show opened very strong.... then a guy from Sales went up and sucked all the air out of the room. I was next to a room that was hardly listing and mostly standing in the back and at the bar talking. Carl was with me to save me from driving in the rain. Yes I still hate that. I was nervous. I knew what I needed to do. I need to pretend I wasn't shitting in my pants. I started out strong.... I lost them for a joke .... I got them back... then a drunken bitch is talking to me. Oy. She is responding to every joke. She is around 24 yrs old trashy and drunk. Her boyfriend looks like he suffered from fetal alcohol syndrome. Out of no where in my mind... I said something I don't even remember what and shut her up..... The room got quiet and they were on my side. I felt like a bully. She was really not meaning any real harm. But she posed a real threat to my entire set dying on the vine. While I had their attention I did my most 2 filthy joke I have. Ones about oral the other about anal. Hey I said they were dirty. The oral one got an applause break. The anal one got mouths hanging open.... "To far" I say to them and sorta save the bit. I finish up with my closer and I feel like I earned a C plus. Later the owner comes up and tells me that he was very happy with my set. A big comic I know from a show I do in Hoboken came up to me and said that I did the best any female could possibly do in that room. I wasn't that happy with it. Carl loved it. He said you never saw your were nervous. You were strong and in control Okay. I went home and when I went on myspace I found out that the show was in fact changed that morning on air. It was to be as much a party as a comedy show. We bolted after my set. The next night would be a regular three man show. We had a nice crowd Id say of 50 people. I was asked last minute to open the show with 25 and then bring up the guy who as supposed to host. He did so poorly the night before they wanted me first. I was asked to then bring up the headliner and he would close out the show and I could leave.

Before the headliner went up he asked me if I could do another 10. I said sure. I did my husband wants to save the planet routine and did great. As I was leaving I was informed that the hotel was hosting a Swingers night that night and that most of my audience was from that group. Well let me say these people I guess know how to have fun! I had a great time. The staff loved me too and the bartender mentioned that he would see that people found out how well I did. The GM of the club thanked me and said he would have me back as soon as he can. So that was cool. Side bar. One night a girl is on her cell phone outside a hotel Im doing a show at. She is stranded and cant get home her boy friend and her had a fight. There is a man in a suit having a cigerette standing near by. She is asking her friend to come get her. She hangs up and shes what 19- 20 . I go over to her and give her $20 for a cab, she askes me for my address to pay me back. I give her my card and tell her dont worry about it. Im a mom and would hope someone would help my kid in that situation. She gets a cab and leaves. The man standing there introduces himself to me and tells me that what I just did was very nice. He told me that he was the GM of the hotel and that if I ever work there again he would be happy to comp me a room. Fast forward 2 years..... the GM of this club is the same guy and he remembers me from that night. Karma People..... lesson learned.

I returned to my home club in the city after being away for two weeks. I have to say that I was really afraid they would forget about me. Actually the owner of the club called me for my avails, since I hadn't been in all week to give them to the club. I was so reassured. I told him to hold me off for another week so I wouldn't mess up his schedule . The head booker of the club actually sent me a myspace email saying he hoped I was feeling better. So whats the big deal you are thinking. Well if your a NYC comic your not thinking that... you know how disposable we all feel. If not us there is a line from here to LA that is waiting for your spot. When a comic dies in NYC people call the gigs on his schedule to offer their services.... or at least that's the urban legend. Like the looking for an apartment by checking the obituary pages.

I returned to the club and it was fleet week. I love it. Every show was packed with handsome young men and a smattering of young women all in dress whites. They were fantastic audiences and I could talk like a sailor if I wanted to. I found myself laughing on stage. Whats this ENJOYMENT? I had in the middle of one show a nasty heckler. He was drunk and alone. He was old and gay and annoying the waitstaff even before the show. I was doing really well..... and then he shouted out. You suck your a fat ugly lesbian who needs to get donkey punched!!! The audience when ohhhhhh. I held my finger up as if to say don't worry I got this. I then Say "Uncle Rob is that you.... when did you get out of rehab, how sweet of you to come to see me ". The audience whistles and claps He says I'm sorry I'm feeling a bit stupid just now. I say.... so you were clear all day and saved your one minute of zen stupidity for me. Oh and by the way I'm not a lesbian not that there's anything wrong with that..... I'm straight. Actually I'm married 25 years just right now I'm not fucking anyone. I then say something else..... probably.... now Shut the fuck up. and finished my set strongly. As I got off the stage and walked down the center aisle I got several high fives.

I went to the pit were the comedians sit between sets and shows and the host of the show tells them how well I handled my heckler. Just the the owner and a bouncer are taking my heckler out of the show room. He had passed out. I heard later he tried to take his pants off on the street in front of the club.
I felt like I had just passed an amazing initiation. I had someone fuck with me and I won. It made me feel like I am what I have strived for all these years. I am a comedian.... in the truest and most real sense of what I think that may be or not be. Hecklers always scared me. I had a stock line I could use as a shield for years.... but they always hurt my feelings on some level all in all I have had 3 or 4 hecklers in 5 plus years of this I deserved more. Hecklers remind me of the mean kid in 8th grade who just when I was having fun or thinking for a second I was cool would ruin it all and make a nasty comment or joke at my expense. Shutting down a heckler feels like in some way I have learned how to deal with bullies. That I am armed with my wit and my microphone and I can take care of myself. Its liberating.

I did a show in Hoboken the other night . I had been away from that room for almost 11 weeks. I had a 6 minute set. I decided that this is my room. There my crowd ... I decided that I had to kill and nothing less. I had fun. I had a ball. I felt in control. It was one of my very best sets I have ever had. I don't know what has happened and maybe its nothing more than getting more red blood cells going. But I feel better on stage than I have in a long long while. I'm smiling more, I'm laughing up there now. I am.... a least... just for now it seems... doing this because this is what I love to do. I will enjoy it while it lasts Im sure it wont. But I will savor it just the same.

Sick and Tired and better again....

2008-05-20T00:28:00.000-04:00

I wrote this a week ago and was too sick and tiered to even spell check it no less post it.......
It was a long time coming and it came..... I ran out of gas, Both ends of the candle met, I shot my load, I finished the entire cake, I walked a long walk off the short Pier, I came and I went, I feel off the wagon and got run over, I punched my last ticket. I crashed and burned.... But can I quit NEVER!

I came home a week ago Sunday and went to bed at 4 am as usual... and in the Morning had to get up early to take care of some family business. I was to work that night again in the city and was faced with that horrible question every mom asks herself around 4 pm... Whats for dinner??? Nothing. The fridge, freezer and cupboards were all empty with enough to throw a meal together. I had been meaning to take a nap but the cleaning people were on their way and I had to be up. ( I hired them because Im working so much My home has gottten too much for me and Hell Ive been cleaning for 25 years) Then they showed up 3 hours late and I could have napped. So once I let them in and gave my son the check for them... I headed to my favorite gate of Hell the suburban supermarket. I ran around the store just buying what ever I could just to have somethings to fall back on for dinner for the week. I got a large chicken and figured 2 dinners out of this bird. I picked up some turkey sausage and some fish and ran around like it was a timed cook off on Top Chef.

Just as I was heading around a corner I see someone I don't wish to see. Lets call her Lorraine Hersey. I used to play Mah Jongg with this woman 7 years ago ( before I started comedy) and I have known her for about 18 years. She is one of those people who runs hot and cold. One time you see her she is your best friend .... full of warmth and compliments...the next time its passive aggressive jabs. Always you have to hear how attractive her husband thinks she is, how she lives on the best street in town...the non view side by the way. Or how her job is so important and she couldn't be complete without it ...not to mention the very big salary she earns. In a word shes a pill. So when I saw her on the coffee Isle I decided we don't need any coffee and moved on to the next isle. Somehow 3 isles down I ran into her in front of the salad dressing. I had been annoyed with her since the last two times I saw her she asked me...... So you still doing your thing? My Thing? Yes its a little hobby I have. You know like your jogging 5 miles 7 days a week. My thing.

Why is it that I cant be a bitch at will. Why cant I bite the bullet and just say ... You know what Lorrine I don't really have the time or the patience to speak with you now. Besides your not interested and if you are its just to judge. Ba Bye. She says Hi. I say We always run into each other here, should have said.... I need to find a new place to shop. She says I hate shopping now. I say why is that. She says...everything is so expensive. I should have said.... but your so rich and thin you hardly eat and you can by all the rice cakes you want. No I say ... I got you beat I hated shopping even before when prices were lower. I have hated it for years. Pause, wheres the oriental dressing? She goes into expert mode and recommends a few and is very friendly. Fuck now I cant be a bitch... it would look unprovoked. The conversation move onto her kids and I mentioned my family's ongoing soap opera. Air kiss good bye. Truth is , I don't want an enemy. I'm a pussy. Because I do have enemies People who I detest.The thing is most of them have no Idea I don't like them.... that isn't the nice way to do things....and God Why do I like being so fucking nice. I don't detest this woman she is of no real harm to me. I don't like her because she isn't that nice, has an annoying voice and I feel often that she feels above me. That pisses me off. I also feel that she feels that she is skinny and that gives her an upper hand over me. She feels she is more in control. I do think that running outside when its 4 degrees is an addiction as much as a hobby and life choice. She is so unimportant to me. However if she was warm and seemed happy to see me the entire bad feelings would vaporise. Why do I even think about this.

The shopping took all of an half hour the check out took a half hour just to get to my turn. Attention store managers.... Your store is busy from 4 to 6. People are buying food for dinner..... hire some checkers and a few baggers while your at it...... its feels like this taking forever..... Paper or Plastic....No I need a gun....to take me out of this misery. This store pisses me off because they stare you down to bag your food. I'm tiered you bag it. So there I am bagging my food and I feel Dizzy. I'm sweaty. I pay and leave. I get home and I'm caring in the 15 bags of stuff that makes no rhyme or reason. My list I forgot to bring with me is sitting on the counter laughing at me. I read it.... not only did I forget the list... I forgot most of the items. I forgot the bread so no lunches...good one robin. i forgot the curry to make the soup I was planning on making with the cauliflower I just bought. I forgot the Chinese noodles that go into my Oriental chicken salad ....for the leftover chicken. No orange juice . I did remember cranberry sauce. I got to put it in the pantry along side of the 4 I already have in there.... terrific robin. I start dinner. Chicken cutlets and pasta. I treated myself to the thin sliced ones saving me the hour of slicing and pounding them myself. Done. While I'm cooking I notice how nice the house looks. All clean, everything put away. This will last all of an hour or two. My leg hurts me I get a stool and sit in front of the stove. I'm stirring sauce its 6pm I need to leave for work at 8. I'm stirring and my arm hurts like a dull ache and so does my back. I put up the water to boil . Put the sauce and the cheese on the cutlets and pre heat the oven to finish the meal. I set the dish in the fridge. I'm so tired I think to have a cup of coffee. I calculate my sleep from the night before 4 hours. I need a nap. I turn down the water to simmer put a lid on it and go to my room and hug the mattress. The imaginary referee in my head counts... ONE< TWO, Three four. I fall asleep ... I'm out. Carl comes home in an hour and sees how tired I am. I'm in a ball of sweat. My son had made the pasta and Carl put the cutlets in the hot oven . Dinner is ready its 7:30. I run into the shower. I'm at the table eating in my bathrobe. I eat a few bites I'm not hungry..............................?????????????????............. I get dressed put my make up on. Blow out my hair. Come down stairs and the den is a mess Carl's shoes are on the floor , my sons homework is on the coffee table , newspapers are on the sofa. The dishes are still on the table and so is the left over food. I quickly put foil on the food and shove it in the fridge. I go to put my shoes on and I feel like lead. Every joint hurts and my head is pounding. I had an upsetting weekend with family and a unhappy thought flashes in my head and I pour cold water on it. I grab my comedy book.... I get my coat. I open the garage door and step onto the first of 3 steps. Im on the second one and I turn around. I have so little energy climbing up the one step back into the house feels like climbing a mountain. I start to cry. I cant do it. I cant go to work. I cant drive, I cant think, I cant be funny.... I cant open the door its to big and heavy. I feel tears roll down my face. I open the door and call Carl. I tell him I cant go in. What am I going to tell the club manager? Its 8 pm and I'm supposed to host 2 shows and be on 4 of them. They will fire me. I sit on the stool by the stove and call my boss and tell him. I'm sick I'm hot and week and I don't know whats wrong with me. I think I could be getting the flu. Every muscle is killing me now. He tells me don't worry feel better. Its okay. I am more upset that I might loose my place at the club after all the hard work I have done ....than the fact that I am just about to pass out.

Its three days later and I'm at the Dr's office for the second time this week. I cant keep my head up. I had blood work done earlier in the week and the results showed that I am deficient in all my B Vitamins and that I am severely anemic. I am 5 points away from a transfusion. The rest of the testing isn't done. They should know by Monday. I have been on web md and diagnosed myself with Cancer, an ulcer, Fibromaragiea, Lyme Disease...and MS. That is when I ran to the doctor. So at this second visit they want me to start coming in for a B12 shot and I am taking iron pills for the anemia. I feel like shit. I am sleeping more than I'm awake for these past 3 days. The house has gone to hell....and so have I. I feel like a Hollywood starlets. Suffering from exhaustion. Without the press release or the fancy hospital.

When I get home the phone rings and its the club wanting my avails. I apologise for being sick and suggest they don't book me next week just in case I have to cancel..... I don't want to mess up the schedule. A huge sigh of relief is off my mind. I'm still working there. I am so insecure in this business that I feel I am not allowed to get sick..
I wake up the next morning Friday and call the booker for a show i am to do in Conn on Sat night. I called her when I got sick and told her my situation. She had a comic on hold just in case I didn't feel up to it. Were good friends and I'm a lucky girl to know her. Carl was to come with me so I wouldn't have to do the 3 hour drive myself.

It was hell getting there the traffic was unreal. It was my first time onstage in 6 days. Linda opened the show. Let me say that Linda Belt is one of the classiest women doing comedy that I have met so far. If you think that I'm nice...... I'm a bitch next to this woman. She is very talented and a rare mix of nice to everyone. She is very supportive and would give you the shirt off her back. She is my favorite female comic and we are so alike it feels like narcissism that I like her so much. She's great...shes like me. HA.
I had hoped to sleep in the car. Since the b12 shot and the iron pills I'm feeling alot better. We put our things in the hotel and I just want to go to bed. We had to eat... I just want to nap. I start to panic a bit about the show. I have my Jewish material .... but I feel off. I'm tiered. Nothing like earlier in the week but tiered. We eat and I feel a bit better I have coffee. We get to the show and Linda opens strong. Uh OH. I don't like following her. Shes so dam good. I feel myself getting psyched out. Then she gives me one of the nicest introductions I have ever gotten. I go up hug her and know I have her full support this woman wants me to kill. I do my Jewish jokes and it feels good to be up there. There Jews a bit on the more conservative side and most over 50. I don't curse, I tone it down. Its going well. I have 25 minutes to fill and as I'm up there I'm editing and refining. I leave out some of my normal jokes to make up for the 10 minutes of Jewish humor. The room is lit full and you can see everyone's face. A man around 75 is sleeping in the corner. One woman is laughing so hard shes scaring me. This guy over hear keeps hitting his wife and she is hitting him. Some lady right upfront is smiling but not laughing and nodding her head. Do I need to see all of you???? Go away... I like comedy the way I like sex.... in the dark with maybe a few candles or the bathroom light on...take your pick.

I flub a joke. Actually i did it right and stopped and thought I flubbed it. Oh fuck. I do it over and joke I'm having a senior moment. I finish the show with my standard closer. I end on a strong up note. Linda comes up and hugs me. I go down and go off to the bathroom. I go outside for some fresh air and check my phone. I am cold. I go to open the door of the Temple and the door is locked. While I'm freezing I am re assessing my entire life. So this is what this career is. This is my thing. I got paid very well tonight. I made what I used to make working part time an entire week in one night. I'm cold. Is it worth it. Robin the nerves and the ups and downs. Did that go well? Why did Carl make that face? Linda asked me if I was tiered? Do I look tiered. I see someone through the door I wave my arms they let me in. This is the most I have moved in 5 days.

On the car ride home Carl review my set. You didn't do this joke, where was that one. I had only 25 minutes I had to edit. Did I curse. No. We review. I'm hungry.
Thoughts drift though my head as we drive through the darkness. My parents, my family, my kids, my routine, my jokes, my brother, I pray I'm just anemic. I'm tired. Not physically right now. I'm brain tired. I need to be taken care of for a few days. I need to relax. I need to laugh and not be making others laugh. I need a big warm bed by myself. I need a beach....with no one I know and no one who cares how big my ass is. ... including me.

My brain cant seem to stop. Here I am all night instead of sleeping after last nights gig.... trying to figure it all out. I'm not working again till Thursday. I need to take time off. I'M booked solid till the end of June. I might take July off. Could I? I envy Adam for taking a new path. I have only one path. Work ...try to kill and more work trying to kill. It dawns on me... I'm killing myself. MY body cant do it. I'm too old. I need to figure it out before my body decides for me what I should do. I wish I was Lindsy or Paris... I need the structure of a rehab to figure out what should be next. I am addicted to proving I can MAKE IT in this business. I need to not prove it to myself. I know I'm a comic in every true sense of the word. I need to PROVE it on paper it seems. TO PROVE.... this is MY THING!! And its something!!! No wonder I won the last request contest. I want that Credit. I need Proof.

Epilogue--- I wrote this a week ago and am all better. I have anemia and I need to take iron and got a B12 shots. I had a virus that because I was so run down knocked me on my ass. I started back working last week and did just 2 sets one on Tues and one on Thursday. I then did Bob Levy's room out in Levittown PA on Friday and on Saturday. I am trying to limit myself to 4 nights a week till I feel 100%. I enjoyed doing comedy this week more than I have in ages. I do this for the love of it and working so hard and getting sick isn't any fun.

Last Requests

2008-04-29T01:01:00.000-04:00

I have had to deal with the reality of sickness for the past 18 months or so and when challenged by STEVE to write a blog about what my last requests would be if I was about to die sort of hits too close to home. I am tempted to be either tongue and cheek funny or just plain depressing.

I wouldn't want anyting material... what would that do??? I would wish not to Die that would be my request. Im sure thats not allowed....its like getting one wish and wishing for more wishes. So... I know for sure my first request is God if Im gonna die, please make it painless and fast dont even let me see it coming. Illness is a bitch pain is the worst. Treatments and being so sick you wish you were dead isnt for me. I have told my beloved one to fight when in my heart.... I know Im not a fighter and Im not brave and Im not a fraction of what he is. I tell him to fight because I need him. Im afraid of a world without him. I love him so much I cant imagine a world where he isnt in it. On a lighter note....Who will tell me on a regular basis that I am going to be the NEXT huge success. That I am the Funniest woman on the Planet.... who else would love me so much to make up these delusions. So fast and quick is my first request.

Second request could I get a decent TV credit before I go ??? Live at Gotham Maybe or get to perform at Montreal. Just something so when Im gone and my kids tell my grandchildren that arent here yet..... Grandma was so funny she was a Successful Comedian.... ITS TRUE.

I dont want to be thin from Chemo.... but I would like it if Im not so heavy I need extra paul bearers. While were at it I would like my Tombstone to say in a few years after she rests in peace she will be a size 6.... she was never a size 6.

So I went for dark and somewhat funny.

Lastly I have also moved my blog to http://robinfoxcomedy.blogspot.com/ and will be moving each blog bit by bit what a job! Im not leaving the Soapbox entirely..... Lets see if I can even figure out how to do this. I have to say that going back and reading my earliest blogs has been a huge eye opener. I get to see how I got here from there. I found it very inspiring to see how much blind faith and nieeve I was.... I do see that I just did what ever I could not knowing what was the right path. If this helps anyone just starting out on this journey I will be thrilled to have helped in a small way.

Comments are below
Feeling Your Pain...
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 10:23 PM by Al Wagner

We know this isn't an easy time. You and your beloved are in our thoughts...

Robin, OMG
Posted on 04/29/2008 at 09:17 AM by Andy Kaufman

No fair making the old guy cry, but that is what your blog did. When I lost my sister at 36 it was fast, just a phone call one Sunday afternoon and poof. While devastating beyond description, there have been times when I still think she took the easy route. The rest of us have been left to deal with it.

While certainly not chemo-ish, which I simply can not fathom, I have been so frail, fragile and ill for over two years now after the car wreck that fatalism seems one of my constant companions. Pain seems a new member of my family who has to be dealt with like a recalcitrant child, but through the love of my family we are all making it through.

I play a game with my sons....I start a sentence in their voice, talking to THEIR future teen-agers and it goes something like this.."See Old Grandpa Andy over there drooling in the corner, WELL, when I was YOUR age, Grandpa Andy....blank......" and have them fill in the blanks. It is intended for them to see themselves as adults passing along oral family history to their children in the same way it was passed to me.

My last request would be that my book be published. "The Great Adventures Of Being Andy Kaufman" and it be the entire story, not the watered down version I would have to write while alive to ensure some of the stories in there do not get me KILLED. There have been many great adventures and there are Andy stories all over the place, many I have written and many in the memories of those I have been around. I want that finally written and have boxes of failed drafts.

I was moved by your thoughts of beloved. Moved to tears. It is so hard at times to think "who cares for the caretaker" as I see my illness more in the faces of my family then anywhere else. It is almost as if I can get through it but how DARE me deprive THEM of me. I am lucky, I am blessed, I keep being told there is a light at the end of the tunnel and can not imagine how others, who might not, can keep fighting. Robin, my thoughts, prayers and tears are with you.

My last request, well, I have always wanted to play for the Yankees but God apparently outsourced this wish to some Indian Angel who fucked it up and has me unable to play, but managing the "Bad News Bombers". THAT great adventure, well, dancing with the ghosts of my memories

I want to hold a copy of this book I have been noodling for so many years and know it will be the universally interesting story I have always hoped it would be. For you, my un-met friend, I hope you will have already BEEN the funniest woman on the planet.

Love From A Sad, But Smiling Face

Your Pal

Andy

Thanks so much,
Posted on 04/29/2008 at 09:58 AM by Robin Fox

Al I so appreciate your thoughts am compassion. Andy, I am sorry I made you cry. You have been through a living hell it seems and Im so sorry. We do sometime feel like we live for those we love. I am hardly the main caregiver be yes illness has a long hurtful hand. Life is so fragile and fleeting.... all the petty things that knot me into a ball really are taking a back seat, to whats important. I need to enjoy him while he is still here. I cherish each day. I have an i Book computer and the best part of owning it is I can video conference with him several times a week. Its been a wish I didnt even know I had fulfilled. I can only imagine wishing I could only see him and tell him how much I love him and thank God and tecno magic.... I can. I hope to meet you one day Andy.

Crying Is A good Thing
Posted on 04/29/2008 at 12:48 PM by Andy Kaufman

Laughter is only one response to comedy but there are others. Emotional responses, thoughtful ones. I cry often and it is a good thing. Keeps us human I think. I sometimes cry at joyous moments, (My Grandfather Louie called it "kvelling",commercials, movies, cuteness, the simple joy of a smiling child and never apologize for being a man who shows emotions.

My kids tease me about it and when Kevin Costner says "hey Dad, wanna have a catch", the flood gates open.

The fragile nature of life is what makes us appreciate it so much more.

As comedians we have a responsability to be able to draw off emotions, transform energy and reflect it back. Perhaps what makes us work so hard at this solitary craft is the emotional release it gives us.

Thanks for reminding me

Your Pal

Andy

The other night....

2008-04-26T16:42:00.000-04:00

I was at the door of the club talking to a comic when a guy walks in- average looking and short. He is with a knock out blonde woman with big boobs...20 years younger than him. I recognize this comic from TV. He is very friendly and nice and so is his girl friend. They speak to the manager and are offered a 5 minute guest spot for him and a 3 minute one for her. Its a full house and she goes up and does the Im such a slut set... IM so Hot.... Its hard to get a meal on a date rape.... Giving Jesus a blow job jokes. It's a train wreck. However the guys are drooling. I later googled her and she has been doing comedy for one year. NY comedy time compared to La comedy time is like age in dog years, the two arent quite equal. We in NY can get on a stage 3 times a night right from the start, be it only an open mic...or not. It cant be done in LA with the lay of the land and traffic. The LA Headliner guy had a solid set. In his set he mentioned being divorced after a 17 yr marriage. He then said after a 17 years of sexually barren marriage he now has a girl friend who will have sex with him up to 3 times a day. He did a funny joke about it too. He closed strong and they left. Does she deserve to be getting this Stage time???? well 3 times a day is alot of work who's to say. Sure in time she could become funny...hey he could write her a joke and who knows?

If you go down the line of male comics married or dating female comics one trend is true. The girls are way way way hotter than this guy could ever get if he wasnt a headliner. These guys are like the shlubby guy married to the hot wife you see on most sitcoms. Sure there are some exceptions. Bernie Paulie is beautiful and very funny and so is her husband Al Dacharme.. so thats not a good example.. I know there are exceptions I just cant think of one right now.

I also have a problem with average looking nice sweet girl comics doing jokes about being sluts. The other night a wonderfu and sweet female comic hosted a show I was on for a charity. She was doing fantastic best I have seen her ever. Then she started doing jokes about sleeping around.... and she lost them. Why, I think it is because she dissapointed the audience and made them uncomfortable with this information. Maybe they thought she had more self respect than that. Her jokes were smart and she was sly and so in control then the slut jokes arrive and she looses them. I think that it shows the audience that she thinks very little of herself and makes them uncomfortable. The jokes were kind of funny but they didnt help her they harmed her and her relationship with the audience. After the set she said to me they dont like the dirty stuff. No they didnt like seeing you as what was dirty. Thats the difference. Im not saying women cant do material about enjoying causal sex... But when its not funny .... its not funny. It for the most part is hard to pull off well. Chelsea Handler does it better than most so does Sarah Silverman, Wait she dates Kimmel. Hummmmmmmm ???

On a totally different topic. I had a gig in PA last night. Or better put I was to have a gig in PA the other night. It had been on my calendar for over 3 months. I was to headline and it payed fantastic money. As time moved on I was offered several other less paying gigs. I turned them all down. Sure enough Monday came and I just wanted to confirm the show. I email the booker and a day goes by I hear nothing. I go to the rooms website and it says no shows upcoming. What!!!! I call the booker. My phone is broken dont text me.... leave a message. I leave a message. Thursday comes and he calls me. It is not his room he just booked me as a favor it seems to this other guy. He will call me back. At noon on Friday I am told he cant reach the guy dont bother coming out. He tells me the other comics cant reach the guy either there not going to show up.

I am so pissed off on how people can be so unprofessional. I will say this again. I have 52 weekends a year to earn money. Don't screw around with me. I don't know what the answer is.

Comments are below
i have to say
Posted on 04/26/2008 at 03:17 PM by Mindy Matijasevic

giving a blow job to Jesus sounds original -- i never heard that before. but if anyone is deserving...

It could be giving a blow job to anyone...
Posted on 04/26/2008 at 05:13 PM by Robin Fox

No "Im such a slut set " is complete without one.

Robin
Posted on 04/26/2008 at 05:52 PM by Andy Kaufman

I love reading your blogs and there is s similar situation here in my town which this reminded me of. This dude, who is a good guy, has been dating a woman who all of a sudden not only decides she wants to be on stage, BUT, he has her working with him deciding who gets booked at one of the "A" rooms in town in their "Legends Of The Future" show. While she actually does have some good stuff and is a nice lady, I am not sure she would be getting the stage time, the attention, and certainly NOT the booking responsibility. Other comics around town are now putting her up on stage not only for her talent, of which she does have some, but because THEY want to get booked in "her" room.

I really have no objections to people sleeping with whoever they want to sleep with but, what I got out of your blog was that comedic talent is not transferred through injection. We're all working hard to get better and your story does not seem to be rare.

On a totally different note. I was booked to do a gig in Texas which was pretty well paying and I had a free airline ticket so what the hell. I have been sick and wanted to get back on stage but when I landed got a message that the gig has been canceled. I do not blame the comic who booked me, he is an amazingly great guy and a good friend. He was just as shocked, but what DOES suck is that the dude who canceled the gig has, to this day, NEVER returned a call asking "Where's my money". I made, literally 10 calls which went unanswered.

If people are going to be assholes, at least face up to it.

My admonition is for folks to return calls. Robin, you work hard for your money, so do we all. Not like we are getting rich just yet but people need to return calls, tell the truth and not fuck people over.

Here's To Hoping Our Paths Cross someday

Your Pal

Andy

Meow Ms.Fox! Put the claws away girl before you hurt someone.
Posted on 04/26/2008 at 06:07 PM by Dave O'Gara

That being said I agree completely.

Also Chelsea Handler is dating one of the big wheel producers over at the "E" channel.

I also have to cop to being guilty of doing the same thing.

I also have a comic friend who is touring with his now girlfriend. She's way hotter than him. He's the headliner she's the feature.

Didn't Lampanelli date a comic from the strip? I guess it happens in both sexes.

Interesting observation I'm glad you made it. It might have come across as sexist if it came from a guy.

Honesty is the key
Posted on 04/26/2008 at 06:10 PM by April Brucker

A lot of these wholesome girl comics talk about being sluts and its hit or miss because it isnt true. If it was true and honest and from the heart those jokes would always hit. In the past few months I have started opening up more and more about a topic onstage that I dont look like I even know the first thing about. However, this problem has made my life a nightmare and is something I know too much about. Because I am telling the truth and because I have had this issue, the material always hits. Though I dont have the I know what I am talking about sign on my head it comes across when I talk. Hope that makes sense. Maybe I dont know what I am talking about. Maybe you all get what I am saying.

My thoughts
Posted on 04/27/2008 at 09:48 AM by Shaun Eli

Some clubs would put her up and others won't. In the long run both comics are probably doing themselves a disservice. He because a club may be less likely to give him a spot in the future, and she because she's being seen before she's ready and thus is less likely to be granted an audition when she is ready.

But really, we all start with strengths and weaknesses in life. Not saying that everybody's add up to the same- some people clearly start off way more advantageous in life than others do. But we make do with what we're given. If she's given beauty and that got her stage time, or he's given a great sense of humor and that got him an attractive young girlfriend... that's what they have.

Robin, you have been given a great sense of humor and a loving, supportive family. Have you considered what advantages that grants you?

And really you have absolutely no way of knowing what that couple sees in each other. He may not care about her looks or age and she may not care that he's a famous comedian.

As far as bookers being unprofessional... in the words of President Bush: "Fool me once, shame on... shame on you. Fool me... you can't get fooled again." Well, you know what he meant to say. If someone doesn't treat you well, vote with your feet. You have only 52 weekends to work? Allocate them to those who deserve them.

I agree with you on most parts...
Posted on 04/27/2008 at 10:16 AM by Robin Fox

However with out naming names.....there is a entire slew of women comics who because they are married or date successful male headliners who are getting a Ton of stage time on prime stages. They for the most part are A. Not ready to be up there B. not funny yet or ever and C. Doing the Im such a slut ....comedy hell set. Its not funny and it is the female equal to the male open micer Dick joke set.

as for the bookers trust me I have a very high learning curve...it wont happen twice with the same person.

As for you remarks that I have a great sense of humor and a loving, supportive family giving me an advantage. Lets hope so. I hope that being funny is an advantage. Its when who isnt as funny is clogging up the pipes so to speak ...is when I get a bit miffed. As for my supportive family the other day it was pointed out to me that I say Im a housewife on stage. Arent you a comedian??? My response is Yeah... not I have 2 full time jobs...lucky me. I only wish I could be like my husband and when I was done from work I was done........I am never done. Look in comedy it is never a level playing field. In the end you dont quit and you let what you can actually do on a stage and to a room full of people that counts. Be undeniable and they can 't deny you.

Shaun
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 01:28 AM by Mindy Matijasevic

I really liked how non-judgmental the view you shared was.

Robin, I also see your point. In every field, people with connections get [unfair] breaks -- let's hope not in the surgery field. But it's always been like that in show biz. Also people with money to have all their updated headshots and press kits and stuff are seen as more deserving (talent not considered) than those who use free business cards and such due to less income. Seems backwards to me.

Thanks Mindy for your kind words.
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 06:29 AM by Shaun Eli

To respond to your other point: Spending money on better headshots and business cards doesn't look more deserving but it does look more professional. You can get decent business cards for ten bucks and if you haven't spent ten dollars for business cards people may not make the immediate assumption that you're professional and reliable.

Let me give you an analogy. A guy shows up at your apartment for a first date-- it's Saturday night. You dress up. He shows up in jeans, sneakers, a dirty t-shirt and baseball cap. Do you think he's serious? Or are you disappointed in his appearance?

Yes, headshots are expensive (although there are inexpensive options-- if you have a friend with a digital camera you can take several thousand shots over the course of an afternoon and probably one would be usable). Business cards and press kits? How much does it cost to buy folders at Staples and photocopy a few pages?

Shaun you just showed your age
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 10:33 AM by Josh Homer

Let me give you an analogy. A guy shows up at your apartment for a first date-- it's Saturday night. You dress up. He shows up in jeans, sneakers, a dirty t-shirt and baseball cap. Do you think he's serious? Or are you disappointed in his appearance?

It all depends on the people dating. Just because they do no fit your idea of what a date should dress like does nto mean they are any more or less serious about the person they are taking out.

Actually Josh
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 10:49 AM by Shaun Eli

I'd be happy to go out in jeans, sneakers and a t-shirt... my guess is that Mindy wouldn't like it too much. Mindy-- what's your thought?

Shaun, you have jeans?!?!?!
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 10:56 AM by Josh Homer

I keed! I keed! (I've never seen you in jeans ever).

I am sure all that rowing keeps his RealAge down quite a bit, but Shaun is right.
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 10:47 AM by Sam Garrett

Forget leaving the stand up world. You are a booker and you need someone that's funny but more importantly, will show up ON TIME. And will oh that's right, SHOW UP. That will not RUN THE LIGHT. That won't embarrass you.

No one owes any of us any kind of spot. And what do they have to go on that we won't do those things? How we present ourselves and how we act.

I think Shaun is saying, and I agree with him if he is, that the more professional you look the easier it is for bookers to trust you with their spots. And its our job to make them feel comfortable, not their job to see what wonderful people we are.

If you took the time to make business cards, maintain a website, and dress nice (not in any particular style, but just look like you gave a f$#k) then it is less likely you will embarrass the booker, because you have invested in your future success.

And its the comedian's job to do that first, because if you won't invest in your act why the hell should someone else invest in it by letting you on their stage.

I agree with pretty much every thing Shaun said
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 11:30 AM by Josh Homer

except the jeans example, only because I've never seen him wear jeans. Bottom line is a good look (website, cards, etc) gets you in the door. Laughs get you booked again.

Actually
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 11:50 AM by Shaun Eli

I pretty much wear jeans all the time, except when:

Somebody's paying me and part of the deal is they get to tell me what to wear.

and

On stage sometimes I wear jeans, sometimes chinos. But always a shirt with a collar (button-down or polo), and shoes.

SHOES????????
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 01:25 PM by Andy Kaufman

damn I knew there was a secret.

You step on one nail
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 02:38 PM by Shaun Eli

and you stop going on stage barefoot forever.

That's Showbiz
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 02:23 PM by Adam Sank

It's 99.9% whom you know. That's just the reality of it.

Talent? Brains? Integrity? Work Ethic? Sure, they'll help you have a longer, richer career. But as King Charlemagne sings in "Pippin:"

"A simple rule that every great man knows by heart:

It's smarter to be lucky than it's lucky to be smart."

I almost forgot
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 03:13 PM by Josh Homer

RObin your new picture is great. To me your the librarian saying in the sweetest voice possible, "You know that effing book was due two weeks ago a$$hole"

Posted on 04/28/2008 at 03:54 PM by Mindy Matijasevic

Shaun, thanks for asking for my thoughts. I just don't equate low-income and resourceful with dirty and sloppy, so to me it wasn't a real analogy. (Oh, and I do know how to work around many of the costly things -- I rarely paid for headshots to be taken, but do have to pay for them to be reproduced.)

As far as dating, jeans is not the problem. It would depend on our plans. But I wouldn't welcome dirty. The things that matter to me in a person have little to do with what can be bought in a store. I would, however, want to know the person gave our date thought (joyful thought, not dutiful thought) and seemed as excited about it as I and as concerned that we both feel good. Believe me, I like and need class in a person, but I find it shows in how they perceive and treat others and the world at large; how they handle themselves. I have made the aquaintance of too many well dressed scumbags to fall for the outer stuff. Hope you're not sorry you asked for my thoughts. And I always find it interesting to hear how I am perceived. Jeans and a t-shirt if we were going to walk in the park is fine. I would still look like I cared to wear well fitting jeans, nothing worn, stained, or dirty. And knowing me, I'd probably wear something a bit sexier than a t-shirt, but it depends where we are going and how nuts I was over the man. ;-)

I wasn't equating
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 04:26 PM by Shaun Eli

low income with dirty and sloppy. But there's no reason not to have a great press kit if you have the information to put in the press kit.
(I got folders for five cents apiece on sale at Staples a while back-- I spent about twenty dollars so I have enough to last for a long time.) And, for example, I think many people in the industry would see a business card with the Vistaprint logo on the back and say "This person isn't serious about the business." You can now get blank business card stock that's thick and glossy-- it's less than $20 for two hundred-- and feed it through your printer. I've done this and it looks pretty good.

I produce a show so I get a lot of videos sent to me. And some of them are so sloppy that I have to work hard to get past the sloppiness-- fuzzy, noisy, hard-to-understand, shaky camera work... I know how hard it is to get a quality tape, but if people don't have a quality tape the impression is that they're probably not experienced enough to have a quality performance. And I think most people in the industry hit 'eject' long before I do.

But then I'm a guy who spent over an hour with tape and wite-out and repeated photocopying to take every extraneous smudge and dot out of a newspaper article for my press kit, because I had only one copy of the article and it wasn't that clean to start with.

I work as hard at marketing as I do at writing and performing-- because without marketing I won't have as many places to perform. And one nice-paying gig will buy me a lot of business cards, folders, photocopying and postage.

Hedge your bets...
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 05:16 PM by Robin Fox

Thats how I see all of it. Be Professional if you know how and if not learn. Try to look somewhat put together... I have struggled with what works best as far as wardrobe. At one time I thought looking like the desheveled mom would work for me. I soon found out if it did or not.... I feel more confident when I look nice on stage. I cut my hair because I wanted a sharper look. I booked a headliner for a show. Adam was on it and there were about 150 people in the room. Adam was my MC he showed up in Tuxedo pants and a beautiful shirt and tie and cuff links. He looked like a star. The audience felt like WOW this is gonna be a great show just LOOK at this guy. Adam Killed every time he stepped on the stage! After the show I had as many compliments on Adam as I did for my headliner. My headliner thank God is hysterical and pulled off a set with several applause breaks He Killed.... He looked like he was going to the supermarket on a Sunday. I saw him a week later on Letterman. He had a suit and tie on and a fresh new hair cut.... Maybe he was playing to all of America and needed that edge??? To me this says you dress for confidence. He knew he would kill at my Temple show it was fish in a barrel. Letterman another story...oh and he did. Being funny is a huge advantage but often not enough...it takes alot of other elements. Hard work is needed and very little can happen without it. Since your only as talented as God makes you all you can do is work with what you got ... hedge your self by.... writing more, run your bussiness well, be nice, send a thank you note, dont run the light, be on time......oh and the biggest one of all .....Dont be an ASSHOLE.. No one wants to book one. Do what you can ..... and do it well. If you cant do something today keep trying maybe tomorrow you will be able to. I have been futzing with my website for 9 months now and its getting there. I know I need video up online and as soon as I can figure it out I will. Hedge your bet by not quitting. Im lucky I have lived Plan B. for over 25 years. I have no other choice than to do this.

i never intend to look less than good on stage
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 09:49 PM by Mindy Matijasevic

there's like 3 topics being talked about. lol i'm getting dizzy. people being judged on their seriousness based on free or paid-for business cards; dating; looking good on stage.

even when featured at a poetry reading, i never understood people who seemed to deliberately look bad. it was like some pick their worst items to wear. i often wondered if they felt they had to look bland or bad in order for their writing to be heard and taken seriously. there was a time where it was typical to see a good looking woman as ONLY her looks. so if you were an author and female and wanting to be heard, i can see how one might take that route. however, i never want to look bad on stage. i may look bad when i run to the laundromat or the corner bodega, but not when i'm putting myself in a position for people to look at me -- like on stage. it's not professionalism that drives me, i don't think. maybe some. but mainly, it's vanity. if one was raised by my grandmother, one had to develop an awareness of their appearance. especially the females. this was not just your regular stuff. it was quite overly intense. she was a product of her time and gender. she felt it was her job to make us marriageable, i guess, and she took her job quite seriously. in the right doses, it's not a bad thing. the degree was the problem. anyway, i don't desire to look less than good when people are staring at me. whether it's poetry or comedy, i think people should be expected to be able to enjoy hearing and looking at the same time.

Shaun, I understand everything you are saying, but I still don't judge someone's seriousness by if they needed the free business cards. I judge that as resourceful as do I feel about the printing it yourself idea. However, I know people who don't own computers.

Robin, I love your bottom line -- don't be an asshole. The problem is assholes usually don't think they are assholes, or they actually proudly call themselves one. If only they'd wear a neon t-shirt saying: CAUTION I'm an asshole. That would make a lot of things easier. :-)

Asshole are alot like
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 11:22 PM by Robin Fox

Comics who don't know that there unfunny and not really comics yet and often ever. Self delusion is a bitch.

Bullshit.

2008-04-22T02:03:00.000-04:00

A certain person on here thinks hes so very smart. He is making untrue statements and trying to be the victim. Let it be noted by all that.... I have not contacted or made any statements other that what you can read right here and on previous posts. Flipping the tables and making statements that are untrue is a sly form of slander. This person like all those who came before is looking for attention, nothing more. No one comments on his blogs nor pays any attention to him since he got here so now he will sling mud and controversy in hopes to draw attention to himself. Look this guy wears a cow costume....need I say mooooore. I cant imagine any regular person on the Soapbox making fun of a fellow comedian who is suffering in the last stages of cancer. If they are doing this....they should be called out...period. I know far to personally that life precious and that Cancer and someones suffering is not funny. I find it disgusting that someone has nothing better to do than to act like a child and draw attention to himself in such a shitty fashion, by implying that some nameless person ..... insert me or any other of those who he has a problem with..... would do such a thing. This from a man who asked us to imagine Adam choking on someones man hood and Sam and his girlfriend being in a car crash. After I mentioned that he made fun of dead people on his website he told me that he hopes I can stretch my legs that far in bed...... Then he took down all his comments when someone mentioned that he had gone over the limits and should be banned. I wish he kept them up...they spoke for themselves. But hiding now saying people are making fun of someones suffering and not calling them out..... I find diabolical. Either say who.... or shut up. He wants you to hold all of us suspect and is holding our entire community in disrespect. So Jon.... either call the person or persons out to the light of day and let us deal with them or shut up. Your amazing because I swore I wouldnt engage you anymore but your implying I and others have done something without a shred of proof and painting all of us with the same brush stroke had to be addressed. Life is far to short for this crap! I have a brother holding on for dear life right now and the outpouring of love and caring I have gotten from the people on this site has been overwhelming. For you to imply without any proof that anyone would profane a fellow comic with cancer and make it look as if your a victim of us not liking you is beyond my comprehension. .

Comments are below
T?hanks Robin
Posted on 04/22/2008 at 01:01 AM by Sam Garrett

I have never sent any private email or message of any kind to him. This new bloggers are like teenagers with cars. They just drive crazy until someone gets hurt then its all the other person's fault.

Brilliantly Written
Posted on 04/22/2008 at 09:47 AM by Andy Kaufman

But I have come to HATE my dog because at times she reminds me of all my own failings. Poorly trained, ill-mannered, crying all night, and howling at the moon (which actually IS something we have in common), slobbering for attention.

I often wonder if I had beaten her into submission at a much earlier age if she would just stay in her cage and come out only to occasionally lick my hand.

But Sparky has also been a constant companion during my recovery. Dumb, but somehow knowing that just be being there I was taking some comfort.

I did not get her at the Brilliant Friends League. She sits at the foot of my bed on bad days and just can't wait for me to offer her some attention. The slower I move the more she seems to try top push me a little faster and somehow she knows my limits better then I do.

The support I got and get for my stupid malady can never compare to those in real pain. The support I got when my anonymous stalker appeared HERE was inspiring and so is how you are handling this as if my distant voice could make any difference.

Love From Current Sedation but Soon to Be Doing Handsprings

Your Pal

Andy

ahhh Robin
Posted on 04/22/2008 at 09:58 AM by Josh Homer

this new turn of events makes me miss good old Ravi (not the Ravi-Grams combo though), at least with Ravi you knew what was up and he was cooky but never wished ill on anyone.

huh
Posted on 04/22/2008 at 04:26 PM by Mark Anundson

I miss alot on here. Robin you're still my favorite.

Is there such a thing for a new comic to be working too hard?

2008-04-09T16:38:00.000-04:00

And the burning the candle at both ends award goes to me.

If you read this blog or know me you are aware of just how out of control and unbalanced my life is. Nothing in my life other than my children ever took this much work and dedication. I will spare you the complete laundry list of how busy I am.... but lets just say that I am working 5 nights a week taking Mondays and Thrus off. Once every six weeks or so its 6 nights a week. And yes I once worked 14 days in a row. I spent so many nights struggling for stage time that now that I have it I feel I need to do it. I did have to actually start to consider if it is worth doing Everything offered. I was offered a gig at a major comedy chain in WEST VIRGINIA... It would mean being gone 5 nights and driving 1000 miles for $400. I turned it down. I have to work smart as well as hard now... I have very little Hard left. My personal life is at an all time low. Lets just say the 30 balls I keep in the air at one time are hitting the floor fast and hard...taking a toll on me.

I can compartmentalize my life and keep personal and performer apart most of the time. Lets just say that both lives right now are at odds. I am faced with Sophie Choices all the time. The stress is horrible. Yet my performances are getting better and my writing has been flowing more than it has in months. I have never been more fulfilled in one area of my life and so empty and alone in others.

I am exhausted. I am emotionally drained. It never gets easier doing stand up it just gets different. I am strong on stage, Im fearless and can do crowd work and zig and zag...I am getting lighter on my feet and can do the rope a dope, I am undefeated and I know that if I dont slow down........ Im gonna get knocked out and wind up with parkensons from the blow to the head.

I need to work 2 nights during the week and 2 nights on the weekends yes to me thats cutting down. Truth be told..... Right now Id like to run away from my real life and just do stand up day and night and not have to think about the mess my life feels like right now. Comedy is my haven and my prison. I am obsessed and driven..... I am in denial and dellusional. I cant see the forest for the trees.... I cant tell if Im in a forest or a desert.

Comments are below
It's Funny, Robin
Posted on 04/09/2008 at 02:21 PM by Adam Sank

You and I are at such different places at the moment. I am consistently turning down gigs these days because I simply don't want to do them.

My priorities have changed dramatically. I'm more concerned with having a good life these days than with having a good comedy career. I look back over the last five years and am struck by how little time I have spent just doing things I enjoy with people I enjoy... instead of sitting in the back of a dark room waiting to go up and do 10 minutes in front of a bunch of strangers.

I still love performing, getting attention, being creative and so forth. But I just have no patience for all the crap that comes with it at the moment.

Life is about choices. If your choice right now is stand-up above all else, I support you 100%.

But do be careful about missing those trees...

Other than comedy right now...
Posted on 04/09/2008 at 02:41 PM by Robin Fox

Nothing in my life is enjoyable. Home is work Family is me helping everyone and nothing in return....they cant either through health or age or their own busy lives. Friends....??? If I want to see them its entertaining them and having them over and cooking and more cleaning. I do have a freind or two to go for a cup of coffee. But then the pain just spills out and its not coffee its Therapy. The friends I enjoy most are in comedy. I try to ask other women in my situation what they do and I have come to find out...... there arent many in my situation. No wonder there are so few middle aged Moms doing Stand up.... its like putting a camel through the eye of a needle. I often wonder why people quit. Is it from lack of progessing? Is it they wake up and figure out they arent funny? Or is it that the toll is to great? I would love to have someone show me how this is all done. I cant find the balance. Truthfully to do this with the life I have I think there can be no balance. It is making a decision what balls will have to fall and what will be held.

comedy does exact a toll
Posted on 04/09/2008 at 06:59 PM by Brent Dawson

comedy has cost me family members, friends, a marriage, promotions, etc.

it is such a painful journey for many (many of my friends have suffered the same fates) and i'm not always sure why that is so.

the most important question i asked myself and continue to ask myself, amid the cavalcade of other questions (is this worth it, why do you continue to subject yourself to such ridicule, why am i driving 400 miles to perform in bowling alley,...)was, at the end of the day, which choice makes me more me? if being me has consequences, i can live with that.

So its just Brent and I
Posted on 04/10/2008 at 10:12 PM by Robin Fox

Who are working too hard and are off balance. I have seen Adam in the past burn the candle too but he it seems has seen the light....and not the red one.

I have a local tv ala waynes world show this Friday night. I thought it would be an all night thing and now I see I will be done by 8 :45pm . My first thought is should I call this one or that one to see if I can get a spot. Carl is busy and its a perfect night to work. It is also a perfect night to meet a friend and go for a cup of coffee or a drink. Perfect to talk to my daughter or go to bed at a decent hour. Will see. I thought it was going to be a 10 minute set for this thing and now Im told 5. I hate 5. 5 in someways for me is harder than 45. I hate feeling before a set that I dont want to do it.....and especially for now pay. And giving away material when I know someone will profit and not me. 5 I HATE 5.

Hey Robin, YOU ARE BIONIC
Posted on 04/13/2008 at 01:04 AM by Lorali

Lorali here. We worked together 2 years ago. I'm a wife and mother and have run at least 4 rooms over the last 6 years. I take a break whenever my life gets out of balance. And that's easy to figure out. If I start doing my set at the supermarket, I need a break. The second I use my child in a bit, break time. And if I'm not having fun, I have to have a break. We worked together at RB's Tex-Mex(on the Westside of NY).

Sure I remember you!
Posted on 04/13/2008 at 03:08 AM by Robin Fox

It was one of the most memorable nights of comedy I will ever remember. It was a Soapbox show. Funny thing was no one who was a regular on the soapbox was on the show. I barked for several hours standing in 90 degree heat infornt of a running icecream truck....shouting out a specific barker script. For hours on end. Who was going to put me up otherwise at that point in time. When I was rushed into the room I was on the street one second and on the stage in the next with just a tiny bit of time for a pee break. I killed! I remember many of the comics watching saying wow your funny....very shocked in fact. I see a few of them still working. What I proved to myself that night is how bad I wanted in place in comedy. No one would put ;me up in the city.... That was then and look, I worked and worked and worked and today I am passed at several clubs and working more than I can keep up with sometimes. I dont know how I did some of the things I did back then. I had no plan B i guess!!! I never saw you perform Lorali.....but you were a most amazing barker!!!! You had it down to an art form. Glad to hear from you glad you remembered me.

I am happy to report
Posted on 04/15/2008 at 01:52 AM by Robin Fox

That Im only working 2 nights this week. I need a break. Im exhausted. I have a very intense and emotional week coming up and need to take it a bit easier. I have to cook for the holiday .... the shopping and cleaning and all that goes into making this is more than enough work for me. I need to pull back for a few weeks. I need to write more and work on a press kit and my website that looks like shit right now. On the stage I have grown and become a comic that I want to be for a club crowd. Now I am working on writing material that is just as funny but for corporate shows. I want to get on a cruise ship and do gigs for large womens groups and the goal of being hysterical and clean is really daunting. Also finding the right venue to do these jokes and practice them is a challenge too. For now the work will be done sitting down (writing) a bit more and less standing up.

Comedy will Kill Me
Posted on 04/17/2008 at 08:12 PM by Andy Kaufman

I am not burning the candle at both ends, I am also burning it in the middle. I know it is my destiny to be killed by my comedy. I am down to two or three shows a week and my energy level is not what it used to be, but that is because I have a torn apart and re-built body which I will rest when I am dead.

My family has been magnificent and I rest when I need to. I am a housewife, a school teach, a Dad, a student, disabled, hurt and ready to go the distance. I am looking forward to the road.

Comedy will kill me.

Your Pal

Andy

UPDATE PART 2 of- Just go up there and have fun hmmmm?

2008-03-05T16:45:00.000-05:00

UPDATE PART 2 of- Just go up there and have fun hmmmm?
Posted on 03/05/2008 at 01:45 AM

I really don't like to audition. Not to say that I will turn one down .... I'm not crazy. So what is it that I hate about it. I spent a few years as the contest queen. I did over 5 of them. Most with multiple rounds and they were very intense. Why did I do so well at them and at auditions I feel totally stressed. I think it is because my goal in a contest is just to do my best. An audition feels like there is so much riding on it.... Maybe it is just that I psych myself out.

My very first audition was for a club in the boondocks of NJ. There was to be an open call for comics and I was the only one who showed up! So there I stood on a small stage and performed for the owner and his wife. I never got a call back..... who beat me out for the gig. Actually the room got passed off to another Booker and he on the first guys say so booked me.

I did another audition where I did very well but the Booker told me that his non existent partners did not think I was right for the room. My favorite kind of audition was when I met Bob Levy and he invited me to do a guest spot with him on a show he was doing in South NJ. When I got there he had arranged for the owner of the room to watch me the next night. Bobs audience are rabid, very male, and the kind of audience that wants it fast funny and raw. So the suburban Mom hit the stage and shocked everyone and herself even more by hitting it out of the park!!! The owner loved me and I have been on rotation ever since.

Really my favorite way to audition is to just be given a spot on a regular show. I got passed at the two clubs in the city this way. The first time I was on a show that Adam produced. The GM of the club was there and it wasn't an audition. He liked what he saw and told me to send in my avails. At the second club I was also doing privately produced show at this club and after was introduced to the owner. He asked me a few questions and then told the guy running the shows to put me up on the next open spot. I got up and id a set and they watched me. They put me up on the next show and watched me again. At the end of the night I was asked for may avails. I only wish every opportunity could be like this. I never saw these auditions coming .... I just was doing what I do and it just organically came to be. Unfortunately most auditions aren't like this. They are a set amount of time and often you are one of dozens performing under all kinds of crazy conditions. Last year I had two other auditions one for the Las Vegas Festival and the other for a TV production company. They were back to back one on Tuesday and the other on Weds. Tuesday morning I learned of my loved ones health situation. I did the shows but I just wasn't there completely. I had less than stellar sets. I was too upset with my personal life to even feel upset about it.

Last month I was fortunate to be offered a booked Audition for Last comic Standing. How do you narrow down your entire essence to a 2 minute set? Many figured that out.. I didn't. I was the very first booked audition in NYC. How that happened I have no Idea. I sat in the wrong chair. My appointment was for 8:30 and the people who were scheduled for 8 went on after me. But hey in the end it was a long shot.... and just avoiding having to stand on line was a prize in its self.

Tonight I am auditioning for the Montreal Comedy Festival. I found out this past Thurs afternoon. I spent my weekend performing and wracking my brains out how to do the best 6 minutes I have. I met with a friend on Friday and we spent over 2 hours trying to flesh out the set. Saturday night I produced a show at my Local JCC. They have been doing a comedy night for the past 8 years and I was producing this show for the very first time. Feed back from the JCC is that it was the very best show they have ever had. Adam hosted and Karith Foster and Al Lubel where on the bill. I chose to not perform. I have been very stressed out and really needed to just produce the night. I thought I would be chomping at the bit to get up there but for the first time maybe ever.... I was happy to just watch a great night of Stand-up.

Sunday came and I hit it hard. I did 5 shows and schlepped out my old 1988 mission impossible cassette recorder. I have never taken a tape recorder to the clubs. I have to say I have short changed myself by not doing this. I listened to the tapes and graded each joke. I then strung together the best jokes and wrote a set list. When I looked at the list of the jokes that seemed to be the ones on the tape that did the best I noticed something. They weren't my favorite or funniest jokes. Now I'm totally confused. I hate showcase sets and auditions . You have to make these Sophies Choices about your material and I think I am too close to my own material to really be objective. UGGGG Never mind actually performing the set. Am I loose and I focused?? Is may essence coming through?? DO I appear nervous??? Am I totally stressed.

I have a DVD that I did for Comcast on Demand its 7 minutes long. It is to date the best performance I have recorded. Is it the funniest? I have killed alot harder. The thing about this DVD that I love is this. You get me. My essence is there. What sets me apart is there. The best part that I see is that I am enjoying myself. I dug out the DVD and watched it. It was a perfect set. I wrote the jokes down and made a set list and got in my car and went to the city to see how it would fly. I had 4 fantastic shows last night. Diverse audiences and most of all I really tried to relax and just appear that I was having fun. I have my set list and now its just time to do it! So tonight is the audition. I got my lineup email today and I'm going 5th which is great! I am the queen of getting the second to last spot. They are predicting torrential rain and I am afraid to drive in this situation. My husband is taking the afternoon off to drive me there.

I am going to assume that it is just a spot. I have heard it is rare to get Montreal on the first try. My goal is to just act like its a taping. I want to get a great tape. If I think too much about what getting this would mean to my comedy career I will be too pressured and if I know me I will not look like I am having fun. I will not show my essence and I will be doing myself a disservice.

-----------------------------PART 2----------------------------------------- Carl decided to drive me to Philly. For those of you who read this blog know that I fear driving in strong rain. They were predicting a downpour and I was stressed as it was to do this audition. I took a nap in the afternoon and we left our home at 4. We would be hitting rush hour and wanted to avoid it if we could. The weather held out and we got there and parked and ate at a small Italian place next to Hellium Comedy club. As we were eating dinner I started to feel very anxious and went into the bathroom and cried for about 15 seconds. I have a tremendous amount of stress in my life off stage. I am still a mom of a teenage son and I have a daughter in college and husband and home and a dog to care for. I have elderly parents and other family issues pulling on me each and everyday. Somehow the stress of this audition was getting to me. Carl recently has been coming with me to my weekend shows and tonight decided to leave work and spend the time with me. He knew just what to say to calm me. My real issue is one of feeling focused. When I feel focused I know I can do the job. Somehow today I just felt hormonal and nervous. I decided to calm down. Getting the festival isn't what matters. It was an honor to be asked to do this. There were 15 or more comics and I was the only female invited. I decided to just use the set to re introduce myself to this wonderful club and look like I was having the best time doing it!

Sidebar-

My favorite part of getting a big gig is this. The email or phone call. Robin are you available to do this show on xyz date???? I love emailing or calling them up and saying YES! Then I LOVE writing the date on my computers calendar in its pretty BLUE FONT! Everything after that is work, and stress and driving and worrying. Sometimes if I am on the stage and Killing its fun but not till them. The worry for the KILL is nerve wracking. My next favorite part is saying onstage. IM ROBIN FOX and putting the mic in the stand and getting off. Getting paid and leaving are fun too. The travel switches it back to sucking.

So shut up Robin and tell us how you did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I KILLED. I Nailed it. I hit it . I did it! I had some fun doing it too once I got my first big laugh. I didnt feel all that focused but I was well rehearsed and I just forced myself to go slow and to smile and to look like there was no other place on this planet I wanted to be more than on that stage. I never ever have worked so hard for one set since I began and all I can say is thank God I did. I have no control if it will be a good day for me when I have an audition! I have no control of how I will feel or if I will be stressed. I worked out every kink I thought I could before hand and went up there well prepared. I had a set...set I told myself SMILE relax.... enjoy this..... stay here and now. It all worked! Now the rest is up to the people who decide and God knows what else.

I must have put in 40 or more hours on this one set. I did 9 shows and taped everyone of them and listened to the different jokes later at night. I graded each joke with a score based on the response it got on the 9 shows and like a baseball team I made my line up. Sorry, Two in Diapers joke you didn't make it... come back next year and audition again. Vibrator joke your a hack and we really can't use you for this.....maybe at the next show at Therapy, dont call us will call you. Make ballon Animals... Im sorry your just not right for this show. Spanking come right in.... sit in the V.I.P lounge can I get you something to drink while you wait? Ransom note joke..... Your very funny but were very sorry we just dont have enough time in the line up for you. Thanks for auditioning. Ba Bye.

Will I get it??? When will I know??? I dont know the answers to these questions yet. What I do know is this.... It was a successful show and I am very happy. I changed my mind set before the show to this. I am here and its an honor. I am the only woman asked out of 15 comic. This is a chance to show this club I can do a very funny almost except for one curse " Clean set" In the end it was very good that I did this. I was able to talk face to face with the booker and clarify some things with her. When I first did the contest 2 years ago they asked me if I liked hosting. At the time it was a NO. I let them know I would be delighted now to host and they got a chance to see how I have grow and developed in the past 2 years.

Thanks to all of you who sent me the nicest wishes on the blog page and by email. It was wonderful to feel that the home team was rooting for me. I am Blessed. xo

Comments are below

Posted on 03/04/2008 at 12:12 PM by Jill Twiss

You'll be amazing. Have a great show and then come back and tell me all about it!

go get them Robin!
Posted on 03/04/2008 at 12:37 PM by Josh Homer

and keep us in the loop.

I didnt even know who I was till I was 40 Josh.
Posted on 03/04/2008 at 12:45 PM by Robin Fox

I think living your life brings out a stronger sense of who you are. Also most of my material is semi autobiographical. I really should be listening to my tapes right now and writing my set list over and over.... or taking a nap... instead I am on the Soapbox blogging and playing Keno Pop on Pogo. Self sabotage?? Or just trying to say calm???

Just Another Set...
Posted on 03/04/2008 at 01:10 PM by Al Wagner

I used to joke that the only advantage to auditioning before you're ready is that you're used to playing to three people who don't look interested.

But you'll be great...because you already know the key is to treat it like any other show. You know how to handle that. Have a safe trip, and a great, fun set.

Go Robin!
Posted on 03/04/2008 at 05:41 PM by Sam Garrett

WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!

can't wait to hear the report
Posted on 03/04/2008 at 09:53 PM by Mindy Matijasevic

:-)

Yes!
Posted on 03/05/2008 at 09:25 AM by Kantad Svendsgaard

Congratulations Robin. We all knew you would do well - and the preparation really helped. Good to see that, maybe I can learn something from your hard work!

congrats Robin!
Posted on 03/05/2008 at 12:10 PM by Josh Homer

don't forget the little people when you blow up.

Glad to hear you did well
Posted on 03/05/2008 at 01:30 PM by Dave O'Gara

I knew you would.

I prefer an audition to submitting tapes that never get watched. Or get judged by some weird criteria that has no bearing on the funny (someone in my staff said your delivery was too slow).

Huzzah!
Posted on 03/05/2008 at 01:49 PM by Adam Sank

So great to hear you nailed it, babe. And now, no matter what happens with the festival, you can be proud of yourself. You did your very best, and that's far more important than the result.

That said... I HOPE AND PRAY YOU GET IT, BABE!!!

thanks for the update!
Posted on 03/05/2008 at 04:02 PM by Mindy Matijasevic

and congrats! great that carl's presence works for you. and i found it interesting to read how you prepared.

Thanks everyone...
Posted on 03/05/2008 at 04:23 PM by Robin Fox

I am so happy to have this behind me.. I really worked my very hardest for this one. It was great having Carl there to support me and to encourage me. Mindy- thanks so much for mentioning that you found it interesting how I prepared. The soul reason for me blogging is to share what my journey is like. The nuts and bolts of doing this interests me very much. Sharing what I find works for me gives me great satisfaction and if it helps another comic all the better!

"The soul reason for me blogging is to share what my journey is like"
Posted on 03/05/2008 at 04:36 PM by Shaun Eli

Ah, the cleverness of that error.

Sole....
Posted on 03/05/2008 at 04:48 PM by Robin Fox

It took me 3 minutes to figure out what you meant. Im funnier than I even know I guess.

some "errors" are beautiful
Posted on 03/05/2008 at 10:31 PM by Mindy Matijasevic

i believe pennicillin was an accident. and probably many of us were too.

I was an accident...
Posted on 03/10/2008 at 08:44 PM by Dave O'Gara

and check out that gorgeous mug. *Swak*

Ode to the Soapbox........

2008-02-28T19:38:00.000-05:00

Ode to the Soapbox........
Posted on 02/28/2008 at 04:38 AM

Oh listen now and you will here about a website that I owe so much of my stand-up career.

Twas the night after a gig and I felt so alone, No one in my real life could understand not getting laughs and just groans

I had no idea what I was doing onstage for that matter, I longed for a place where I could learn and share comedy chatter.

No one in my family understood the importance of changing my name from Fuchs to Fox, Then one day I found the Comedy Soapbox.

Everyone told me your like Sally Fields in that movie called Punchline, but doing stand up is nothing like that I would complain and would wine.

In that movie she had friends and had a comedy club as her home base. When your new to comedy you belong no place!

Then one day I wrote a blog on the site, and comics commented and somehow I was able to figure out what would for me be right.

I didn't have Comedy community like at club like the Comic Strip, I tried to talk to the comics at the Cellar but I was just a housewife and they were stars and were hip.

But after my car ride from the city open mics to my house... I would fire up my computer and the browser would roam....and off to the Soapbox I would go to my comedy home.

Sure I had friends from my old mommy days, but comics like Adam and Josh and Dave got me in so many other ways.

If I had trouble figuring out the right thing to do Shaun Eli would email me and give me advise and for this I say thank - you.

And Amy and Mindy and April and Hoop too, And Harris and Robert and Jeannie and Chris and Steve, and Pat and Maryanne and the rest of the crew. Oh and Al and Andy I cant forget you.

Made me want to keep going and not give up and for this and much more I say Thank You!

I connected to people who I haven't met to this day .... but through the Soapbox I feel we belong in a very special way.

In good times and bad from the flame wars and the times its been like a zoo. I knew in the end the good and the funny would find its way through.

We've had our share of nuts and crazies abound....but in the end it was for the funny that I stayed around.

If I was devastated by something I wanted and told not today... My friends on the soapbox helped me get thought it someway.

In the end its a journey and not some big race I learned alot here in cyber space, It has made the good time much sweeter and the sad time less blue.

I really feel it has kept me going and for that alone Comedy Soapbox I have to love you.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks to all of you for sharing your wisdom , laughter. support and friendship. It is the reason I come here everyday.

Comments are below
Yay!
Posted on 02/28/2008 at 09:20 AM by Sam Garrett

Very nice. I would write more but I am LATE for work!

i enjoyed this one very much
Posted on 02/28/2008 at 01:02 PM by Mindy Matijasevic

:-)

Yay!
Posted on 02/28/2008 at 01:10 PM by Dave O'Gara

Very nice Fox.

What I know about Dick

2008-02-28T00:53:00.000-05:00

It is impossible to become a comedian without having met your share of dicks. They come in all varieties; club owner dicks, booker dicks, comedian dicks, charity show booker dicks, restaurant owner dicks, famous dicks, unknown dicks, old dicks, young dicks, women dicks, girl dicks and just your average dick. People who are walking talking miseries.

I guess my first dick I met doing comedy was a woman in my comedy class. She was a successful person in another field and felt that that placed her above the rest of us. She wasn’t funny onstage in the least. She had like most of us had at the time….. Lots of premises and few jokes or punches. After a class I mentioned one of her bits and suggested a few tags. She acted very non impressed or grateful. At the graduation show she did her set the highlight of her set was the bit that I had changed for her. She had a ton of people in the audience and when she got off stage I told her that it was a good set and I was so honored that she used my suggestions. She looked right through me and said nothing. Dick.

Epilog.... She was recently featured in the New York Times about her unusual marriage situation.... she might not be a dick she might be a total nut job ...thus exempt.

I met my second Dick it was when I was asked by a local preschool if I would be performing at any place locally. I was doing comedy for about 2 years and the answer was other than an open mic…..no. I had been getting emails about shows at Caroline’s that were produced by a woman who also produce at Rascals in NJ. I knew it was a bringer situation and that was perfect because 40 women would be coming to see me. I emailed her and asked if she was planning on doing a bringer at Rascals anytime soon. She wrote back that she would let me know as soon as she lined up her next one. A few days later the date was set then it was changed 2 more times. This was hard for me to coordinate with the preschool director but some how it worked out. A few weeks before the show she changed the venue from Rascals to the Stress Factory. I was very upset because I wanted to be seen at Rascals. I did the open mic every week at the Stress Factory and she scheduled the show for a Weds. Night thus knocking out the weekly open mic. I knew the regular open micers would be upset and pissed that there show would be bumped. That was an understatement they went ape shit and if you were on the Soapbox at the time they took to my blog to let me know how they felt. It was a shit storm that took me almost 6 months to undo the damage and hurt feelings.

So bringer producer booked out the night. She told me that for my 40 people I would be getting a tight 8. Shmuck that I was I should have pulled the plug. I should have told her forget it. I don’t need to do this. I mentioned to a comic who at the time I didn’t know who ran bringers at Gotham the situation and she told me to insist on at least 10 minutes and that if I did one of her shows and brought 40 she would give me a 3 other shows too without bringing. So the night of the show came. It turned out to be a cavalcade. Not only that 2 local comics talked their way onto the show and got 5 mins each without bringing and went on before me. Before me that’s an understatement there were over 12 comics and I went on 11th. I told Dick that these were schoolteachers who had work in the morning…. There were 4 other people who brought and the rest of the show had other comics that Dick wanted to give spots and some paid spots too. I went on after Lisa Landry who did 20 minutes. She killed then Dick went up and did another 5 minutes as she had done after every performer the entire night. It was after 11 pm the show started at 8…. When I took the stage. I performed to utter silence. To this day it was my biggest dump I have taken on a stage. I had asked Dick if she could watch my set…. She spent the entire time at the bar flirting with the hot bartender. The only thing I got out of the night was 40 women thinking. Really Robin you’re so brave…. I could never do that…. I give you a lot of credit you have guts. Times the entire town now knowing I sucked. I also learned that if I were ever to do a bringer again I would have to know far more about the situation again to ever consider doing one again.

Epilog…. Dick booker no longer does comedy that I know of and is hated by just about everyone. She has stiffed top comics and her name is mud. If it quacks like a duck you wont be the only one who hears it.

I was walking by ABC carpet on Broadway one Sunday…. Who is standing there but a guy who just got a show on late late nights on Comedy Central. It had aired for the first time the night before. He is standing there and I shout out the name of his show. He turns walks to me and says hi. I tell him that I loved the show and that he has a hit on his hands. He said really you think so in a sincere and doubting tone. I tell him I am a good judge of funny and he is amazing. I had seen his comedy at the Cellar many times and that this show really captured something special. I was sure it was going to be a hit (and it was) He was so nice.

Flash forward to a few years…. I’m walking with Rick Shapiro who just had gotten Lucky Louis at the time. Rick was the first pro comic to tell me I was funny and if you like me…well I LOVE YOU.
Who do I see coming down the street by the comic from ABC carpet? Rick greets him and I say.. Just last night I saw you on an old episode of Saturday Night Live and you were so young I had no Idea you were on there…. I was about to tell him he was funny on it and he cut me off looked annoyed and smugly says…. Yeah they re run those SNL show once and a while. Gee what are the odds? Now writing this it doesn’t sound that bad but he was super smug and acted annoyed that I even was speaking to him….especially since Rick was there and was so much more important. Rick the honey that he is ….says This is Robin Fox she’s a friend of mine…. she’s very funny. Dick says oh….good for you…and continues to ignore me and turns his back. I say goodnight to Rick and walk away. Dick.

Epilog… This comic is bigger than ever and Ricks show got cancelled after one season. Also this Dick goes in the category of I am too important to talk to you now that I am a big deal.

There are the non-famous Dicks… Including one comic who every time I see her when she leaves says to me….. It was nice meeting you. We have met no fewer than a dozen times. There is the Dick comics who are all over you for facts and information but if you ask them the simplest question they clam up and act like you asked to borrow money. It can be as simple as do you know the lineup for tonight’s show. There are the click Dicks. These are the comics who hang out in front of the clubs in the Village. They tend to be young and unfunny. The girls are hot and not funny and do the standard I’m such a slut jokes and get booked for no other reason that the guys like having sluts around. I spent many a night hanging around just to find out who booked the show and was treated like I should go home and make a brisket. Then there are the Dicks who tell you that if you bring 4 people to an early show you will be seen by industry. Not only was I stupid enough to do this I was shorted a minute on my set. When I asked who the industry was I was told that… they don’t want to be identified.

Epilog on this Dick …. He opens for a top female comic all over. Karma is a fucking Bitch sometimes.

One night I had to get out of my house. My family was driving me crazy and I drove into the city and went to the Lantern to watch a show, and possibly find out who booked the show. I sat and watched the show there were about 9 people in the audience. I at the time decided that I was ready to do a show like this. I knew all of the comics and most of them had started with me. After the show I found the producer and waited to ask him if I could do the show sometime. He knew me. We had done a show a few months earlier where I had had my first hit out of the park. I knew he saw the set and it was my very best one to that date. He on the other hand bombed that night. So there I stood for 10 minutes waiting for him to finish a conversation to speak to him. I saw he was done and walked up to him and he says….. Sunday night at 11. I say, “ How did you know what I was going to ask?” He says, “ You’re a comic right…. What else would you want?” I try to ask him if he has a number or email I can call to confirm he walks away…. And even though he heard me doesn’t answer me. He is maybe 32 years old. Sunday comes and I make the trek into the city search for parking and show up at 10:45. Apparently the show is sold out and the comics aren’t allowed downstairs and congregate outside. I see Dick and say hi. He doesn’t acknowledge me and talks to the person behind me. I stand there and ask if there is a line up and am not answered. It is after 12:30 and I have been standing around all night… I see Dick and ask him if I will ever get on the show he says that the show is almost over and that would be a no. I ask him how one manages to get on one of his shows. He answers and says…. Get on Comedy Central or HBO. Just then an open micer who has been doing comedy about 3 minutes and AngryBob comes up the stairs and thanks Dick for the spots. So much for TV credits. What a Dick.

Epilog…
This Dick produces a few bringer shows in the city and is a comedy great in his own mind. Oh and I still think he is a dick.

I blogged about this Dick a few years ago. I ate dinner in college with a very talented and flamboyant and ambitious young woman. She was a drama student at Boston U. Back then I was in my comedy phase where making people laugh so hard there drinks went up their noses. I would make this woman and her hipper than hip friends laugh. I was envious that they could actually study Drama. My dad wanted me to come out of college with a real job…. That didn’t happen anyway. Over the years I wondered what ever happened to this woman. Then one year at the Emmys there she was accepting a writing Emmy for the Ellen Show where Ellen came out. I was so thrilled. I tried to locate he through my alumni association with no luck. Years later after finding her through the net and the writers guild I emailed her. I wrote a lovely note telling her how thrilled I was for all her successes and that I wasn’t surprised. I then reminded her of our days and dinners in college. I brought up mutual friends and then mentioned that I had after 20 years beyond college I had begun a career in stand up. She wrote a one line email back saying that thanks for the nice words but she didn’t remember me at all. She didn’t ask for any further info or a photo… A few months later I sent her a flier on a mass email for a show I was doing. She wrote back. Take me off this list. Dick.

Epilog she is a writer for a Disney Channel show.

I entered a festival a few years ago. I had to submit a tape and I think $20. I was interning at a comedy club one night and saw the man who was putting this all together. He came over to the car and talked to my boss who I used to drive into and around the city. Then he asked my boss if I could drop him off somewhere. So now I’m his cab. While I drove him uptown I asked him if I could give him my tape and mail him a check. He and I had done open mics together a few years back and I told him I would appreciate any feedback he might have on my tape he said that he would check it out right away and get back to me sometime online and let me know what he thought. He thanked me for the ride. I would see him on line over the years before and we would often IM late at night. Several times we IM’d and we would just chat. I asked him if he saw my tape and he would apologize and say not yet…. He would get to it as soon as he could.

A few months later I was on the festivals site and saw I made it into the festival. I saw that he was online and IMed him. I said Hi…. You busy? What’s up? I wrote thanks so much for putting me on the festival. I then asked him if he watched my tape. He said he had a phone call he would be right back. He never came back. The next afternoon I saw him online and just typed Hi. He wrote back Hi…. Sorry last night I didn’t get back to you. I said no worries. Thanks for putting me on the festival. Did you watch my tape? Wondering if it was he or a judge or an intern saw it. He wrote back….. You know what you don’t have to wonder if I saw your tape. We got 100s of them and I can’t remember one lousy comics tape. Look you don’t have to worry anymore I’m throwing you out of the festival. ….And went offline. Dick!

I emailed him and tried to explain that I meant nothing by it and that he had promised me he was going to watch it. I was just following up. After the festival I wrote him again and told him that I was very hurt that I was thrown out of the festival and that he was the one who said he’d be happy to watch my tape. He wrote back and never apologized for throwing me out of the festival but did say that if he in fact did promise to watch my tape and didn’t that it somehow must have been an oversight. Dick.

Epilog…. He no longer runs this festival.

Several comics I know perform for a booker. I consider myself of equal talent and decided one day to contact him. I called him and he site unseen booked me for a show 6 weeks away. That night I told my husband about the gig. He told me that we had a family anniversary party that night and I would have to cancel. That was Friday. Saturday I received an email confirmation for the gig. I wrote back on the confirmation that I couldn’t do the gig due to a conflict. I thanked him and told him that I hoped that I could do another show at a later date. That Monday morning I found in my email and angry note from the booker saying that the confirm sheet that was sent to me was for me to have the details of the gig….where what and when. That if I was to cancel if I got the gig on the phone I should have cancelled on the phone. I was told that I would never work for him ever. I wrote a long letter apologizing and pleading ignorance to his policy and that It was a rookie mistake never to happen again. He wrote back that his decision was final. DICK. Two years later after doing well in a local contest I contacted the booker by email and gave him a long list of well know comics who would vouge for my dependability and talent. That I made a mistake and I would only make a mistake once. He wrote me back. I don’t need to ask anyone about you …. I know first hand and the answer is no. Dick.

Epilog… I still don’t work for him…. I plan on calling him and try to figure out a way around this problem. He books a lot of shows and I could use the work.
I will eat crow if I have too thus I meet a lot of Dicks.

I did a 3 comic show. I was the feature. I was to do 30 minutes. I arranged with the Host of the show to light me at 25. I am performing and it is a tough room. I was more than holding my own but it was work. I wasn’t having a ton of fun. The owner of the place was a woman and she was laughing and enjoying me so all was good. I have in the past gone over and I am one who learns fast that it isn’t worth the aggravation and I if anything would prefer to end a few minutes short if I’m not killing. So there I am thinking where is the light this feels like its time. I see the Host and he is just sitting. I see the headliner and he is pacing. As I am performing I’m thinking…. It has to be 30 minutes already … I review in my head the bits and I know that I did my usual 20 that I do all the time and a 10-minute set that I also do. Finally I see the host holding a candle. I finish the joke I am in midstream with and leave the stage.

The host goes up and is going to do a few minutes. The headliner sees me and says…. You went long. I said..Really the second I saw the light I got off. He says with a mean face… Well you did 40. Not 30. I said gee I was looking for the host and the candle, why did he not light me at 25 when I asked him too. Then Dick the headliner says…. Because I told him not to. You should know how long a 30-minute set is. Or wear a watch. Well I will give him that… I should wear a watch. But my watch is broken for now. I use my cell most of the time. But wait…. He told the Host not to light me I need to learn! When did I sign up for that course? I go to the bar outside the showroom to get paid and talk to the host. I tell him how I went long and that the headliner is pissed at me. He says that he wanted to use his cell but he couldn’t and when he went to light me Dick told him….. She should know how long a half hour is. The owner overhears the conversation and says to me… you could have stayed up there for an hour, I loved you. So I feel all is okay. Later the Monday after I get a note from the booker telling me he heard that I had a fantastic set and that there was a small problem with me going over and not to worry since the owner liked me so much. Did Dick tell him about this?

Epilog. Host of the show emailed me and told me that Dick did 15 minutes extra on his set. I also worked with Dick since and he had a heckler disrupt his entire set. Instant Karma.

I got fired after working as an intern for over 18 months in a one line email….ala Carrie in Sex in the City getting broken up with…. on a post it note. I cried for days. Truthfully, it was time for me to stop. I wasn’t available at a whim anymore and it in fact had become hard to plan a week with him. I was getting more and more spots on my own and didn’t really need to do the job anymore to find stage time. I wouldn’t call this person a Dick for three reasons…. A. I like him very much and B. He’s a club owner and C. See A and B. But It hurt none the less and reminded me that if your no one in this business people will treat you like your no one… no one who might have feelings and a soul that could be hurt or damaged. Business is sometimes just Business … get used to it…. There will be more of this if you don’t kill yourself first.

I did a weekend with a comic at a club. I was the host. At the first show she did a bit about being a bridesmaid and used a throw away line that struck me funny. It wasn’t an entire joke or a bit just a line. The next night we did two shows. I was doing some crowd work and a girl was getting married. I threw out the first thing that came to mind and not even realizing where it came from I had said the line from the night before. It wasn’t intentional and I am not a thief. I found out I did this when the woman who ran the room told me that the comic was upset with me. As she got off stage I whispered to her I’m so sorry. I need to talk to you. I brought up the headliner and went to find the comic she was gone. I felt horrible. I told the booker that it was a terrible mistake and that I was new to hosting and that I am sorry. I just said something that came to mind and hadn’t filtered where it came from. It was one line and may I also add it didn’t preclude her doing her bit that was 5 minutes or more. I found the comics email and wrote her a letter apologizing and asked he to forgive a dumb mistake. Really would a thief intentionally steal something and do it in front of the comic. The answer is yes because I have seen it done…. But this wasn’t the case. It was a glitch and I fucked up and admitted it.

Epilog.
The comic never wrote back…. DICK.

There are Dicks that sometimes come in packs … like a sack of Dicks. They are clicks of guy comics who will ignore you if you’re a girl or girl comics who will ignore you if you’re a woman. There are club comics who will talk down to you because you’re not in their club. There are bringer clicks too. Lets face it just because you show up one day to do comedy doesn’t automatically mean that you fit in. And they should jump off the stage to shake your hand. The Dicks I’m talking about make you feel left out. They do a show with you and then all make plans to go to a bar after in front of you. They talk about gigs or a club in front of you and if you ask a question you are made to feel like you just farted. You kill and no one says a word. You see these people individually and if they have no one to be with they act like your best friend. Let one of their own show up you are left in the dust. Most of all most of these click comics aren’t funny. Usually one or two…. The rest are just there to tell the one or two how great they are.

I was invited to a party at a club for a celebration. It was for one of these click groups. I was so excited to be invited. The woman who started the group and the woman who books the group were throwing this party. The founder always was indifferent to me. She never said to me that I had a good set and to tell you the truth…. From the day I met her I felt she hated me. The other woman I liked very much… I even pushed a good friend of mine to book her for a show… I should have realized she was a Dick when she never thanked me. So when I got the invite I was relived and happy. I brought two nice gift baskets one for each of the hosts of the party. The party consisted of a room and a bar where you could buy your own food and drinks. Not even a cake. Just two cupcakes for each of the hosts. Party??? I was one of the only one’s who brought a present. I never got a thank you note or email from either and I was never invited back to do another show. I want to like these women…. They don’t like me. I have been nice but I’m not in the cool club… SO, for never saying thank-you … I declare them both Dicks.

I have learned from every one of these situations. Mostly, have a thick skin. This business and life in general doesn’t treat you fairly all the time. You have to do your best and if you fuck up admit it and move on. If someone is a DICK to you don’t think you’re so special. They are most of the times Dicks to a lot of people. Just make a mental note. These people have shown you who they are, now believe it. Learn from your mistakes and try not to repeat them. If someone is a Dick it says volumes about them and usually very little about you. I have also learned the greatest lesson of all. Don’t be a Dick!

The other night a comic lets call him Joe... came up to me and told me that at the last show we did together a few weeks ago, that the headliner couldn’t follow me. He told me he walked over 60 people. I left shortly after my best set as of this date and saw the headliner was struggling. I don’t like watching someone have a hard time on stage. I had no idea it went so poorly for him. I like this comic and felt badly. Joe told me that he thought I should headline. I told him that it is rare that the road gigs I do let women headline.

We talked and he thanked me for being so nice to spend some time talking with him. He said he got treated so badly this week by a NJ club owner and that the guy was such a Dick to him. I then said…. So how is Sam (not his name) doing? The comic was stunned that I knew who it was. I told him there is one owner of a small club who is notorious for being a DICK. So it was a lucky guess. I then told the comic how after my family crisis last year I wrote to this Dick and told him that the crisis was now under control for now and gave him my avails. Dick knew about my family situation and wrote me back… We have enough comics for now. I wont be using you, good luck with things. –Sam. Really???? Fuck you very much is what I thought. I tell you that my family just came through a horrible crisis and you write back good luck with things! I don’t mind that you wont use me…. But please. Why would I be surprised this guy wont book Black comics except for one with a huge following and never books Hispanic or Women comics and its 2008. He is a 100% DICK. I told this to the comic I was speaking with and then I gave him the name of a guy I knew who was looking for a host. He thanked me and commented on how nice I was. I told him that in doing comedy I have met some fantastic people and every break I got came from these people who were kind enough to show me the way…. That I decided I want to be one of the good guys and not the Dicks. So I guess the message in this blog is simple……. Don’t be a Dick.

Eplog…. Sometimes I have been wrong…. Sometimes someone acted Dicky and it has turned out that they weren’t a dick. That’s the problem with Dicks there tricky that way. So for now… I’m proving who I am on the stage one set at a time. The Hell with Dick. I got a job to do. The proof is in the performance and the laughter. Pete Dominic recently told me something truly profound …this isn’t a race, it’s a marathon.

I too have met my share of Dicks
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 08:29 AM by April Brucker

And sometimes am guilty of being one myself. But you are a funny, classy lady and in the end the dicks will always get rammed up the ass cause they are thinking with their dicks. And cream always rises to the top.

I hear about alot of dicksand seen a few firsthand
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 11:31 AM by Martin Malloy

I am still at open mic phase but plan on working proffesionally in about 6 months when (if) I have a car. I run into dicks at this level but they are usualy dicks that don't matter so its not a big deal. I anticipate if I get into the business more I will encounter alot of dicks. Thanks for the heads up. ps I am moving soon. tops on my list is charlotte nc but I will go wherever my best opportunities are. Hope there aren't too many dicks where I go. also April I've been a dick to but I talk to my therapist about times I thought I was a dick so I won't repeat it.

I don't think the proportion of jerks in comedy is any different from anywhere else
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 01:31 PM by Shaun Eli

There's just sometimes much more exposure to them, and greater opportunities for them to influence others. There's no Human Resources Department monitoring the situation.

At least not formally-- I have had conversations with bookers and club owners who have said "He's difficult to work with" and in one case when someone asked me about someone else my response was "He's difficult-- if he were 80% better than he is then his attitude could be justified; but he's not worth the trouble to book." Word does get around. And even if you don't see the club owners at the club, they really do know what's going on.

And what goes around comes around-- the perfect example being that a lot of the people Robin writes about are in the same place they were three years ago while her career is skyrocketing.

And I know most of the people she's talking about, and for the most part they are jerks. But nobody's all good or all bad-- one of the people Robin writes about has been really helpful and kind to new comics...
I had someone treat me very poorly when I first started out (Breach of Contract would be the legal term although it wasn't anything anybody could really sue over). I avoided her as much as I could. Then last year I had a (very rare) conflict with a guy in the industry, someone senior to me in the world of comedy. And she stood up for me (even though pretty much what he was doing was what she'd done to me). Stood up for me even though it could have reflected slightly poorly on her with that other guy. So I figure now we're even, and yes, I did thank her for it.

I had the same comedy class experience-- I gave someone a great punchline for one of her jokes and it got the biggest laugh of the whole show. She never said thank you. Where is she now? No longer performing... Success is the best revenge.

I learned that there's no point chasing after people who don't like you. it's like going on a date and telling your date over and over again how beautiful she is-- she will start to think that you're way below her and will lose any interest she had. Sometimes you just have to write some people off.

And Robin, out of the thousands of people you've met in comedy, the number of jerks is pretty low. I expect your next blog to be about all the wonderful, friendly, helpful people you've met. And for that blog feel free to name names.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go make fun of Hillary.

I know most of the people you are talking about
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 02:58 PM by Josh Homer

I do think it was wierd that the comics from teh open mic at the Stress Factory gave you crap about the booking of the show; something you have no control over. To me that's being a bit of a dick.

Showbiz attracts assholes like flies to shit
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 02:41 PM by Dave O'Gara

It's easy money with a side of praise and glamor. Without slicing my own throat too much I think one has to be an asshole to be a comedy booker. I'm not saying has to like a prerequisite, it just seems to work out that way. Okay maybe they aren't all assholes, there are a few that have been nothing but awesome, but that ain't the rule.

You have to have an ego big enough to fill a stage and enough issues to fill a thirty minute set, that combination rarely produces good people.

I needed to read this blog, it's nice to know that everybody is having similar experiences.

Oh.... I forgot. One of my favorite Dick stories.
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 04:48 PM by Robin Fox

Several years ago a comic held auditions in an outer borough. It was on a Sat. morning. I had no Idea how to get there or if It was safe. Carl drove me and I had an appointment to audition around 1 pm. On getting to the bar, I the place was packed with fellow comedians most who I knew. I got up and had a kick ass audition the bar tender told me I was one of the few who got the entire room to laugh and that I was one of the only funny women who was there all day. I thanked the guy holding the auditions.

A week later I emailed this guy and asked him if I made it. He told me that he really liked me but his partners dont think Im right for the room. I could deal with that..... accept.... over time I found out there were no partners. Thats fine too. I would see this guy at open mics and all over town. His one room turned into a bit of a outer borough big show. He started to produce a great deal. Is he funny? "?"

I did get one booking at an open mic thing and the address he gave me didnt include North or South and I wound up in a crack hood scared for my life looking for the room. I called him and left a very nice email and explained I couldnt find the place. I drove over an hour looking not to mention coming in from NJ. He never got back to me. I found out my mistake from other comedians. Still Im on the fence about this potential Dick.

One night Im at Adams apartment and Adam reads me an email he just found in his in box. He writes that he hears that Adam has an amazing show and that His good friend Robin Fox mentioned I should contact him. Im in the ROOM!!! I tell Adam the previous information... and that this guy and I arent friends. So, Adam writes back. Funny Robins right here and she doent remember talking to you about this show. I tell you what why dont you book the two of us first on one of your shows....and then will talk. ( You gotta love the boy) I got to say not only is this guy a DICK..... he Dicks me and then wants to use my name to help him. Dick. Eplog.... I heard he might be up for Live at Gotham.

It is nice to know that we all do ...
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 05:00 PM by Robin Fox

Have similar experiences. That is what motivated me to write this blog. Just like you have to break an egg to make an omelet the same is true in comedy. You will have to endure and survive a bunch of dicks. As comics we hesitate to talk about these experiences and or name names because... we fear reprocussions and are powerless and dont want make a bigger problem. One on one I have found it amazing how these Dicks are Dicks to lots of people and that it is nothing personal. Thats what has helped me get through each situation and swim to the other side. Hearing a newer comic so upset about someone who treated him like.... well a dick.... made me write this blog. And like Shuan said, These people can be found in all walks of life. I just wanted to illustrate how they manifest themselves in our business . Your right Josh the SF comics were not cool. We did work it out. They feared I was bringging the bringger system to their home club. The entire experience with this woman and her screwing me big time was hell from start to finish. I was relieved and happy to hear that the word got out about her not by me.... and that she is no longer in opperation. I will say she fucked with someone who is a Huge NJ and PA comic and he had no qualms in letting the world know she was a dirt bag. Hey what goes around..... As I say all the time the best part of getting older is living long enough to see it come around!

so many dicks...so little time, as they say
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 05:54 PM by Mindy Matijasevic

Robin, I have to read this in installments. This morning, I read about a few; this afternoon, I read of several more. It is upsetting. When I saw how much more there was, I had to stop -- I'll read about the rest of them later or tomorrow. Whew! (All "dicked" out.)

I dont know what got into me..
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 07:29 PM by Robin Fox

But once I decided to write on this topic.... it was like a giant purge. I feel so much better having gotten this out. I truly feel that for anyone striving to be working stand up comic that this topic is one of the things we all will have to face and deal with. Sorry for bumming you out Mindy. Its over 5 years of Dicks.

Wow You Can Write A LOT....
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 08:07 PM by Jon Hausman

...and before you call me that D-word too, I'm genuinely impressed that you could and would write a meaningful entry of that length.

HOWEVER, as a man, can't we call these people something else? I love mine - he and I have had great times..... Using that word in a desultory manner makes me ashamed of my best feature.

A DickStory I just heard
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 10:01 PM by April Brucker

Said comedian produced a show some years ago at NYCC and said woman comedia not so good looking was always a regular on his show. Its just a rumor so I am not using names. But said woman was said to give him regular blow jobs. If that's not dick I dont know what is.

Jon / Robin
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 12:22 AM by Mindy Matijasevic

I feel the same about my parts. But since I've entered the comic community, it has been an eye opener in that way. Valued body parts are used as insults. It's not my language, so I try to just hear it as another dialect. When I was new here and brought it up as a question and something to look at, let's just say I did not get a favorable reaction from many. Others outright said they don't do that.

When I spoke to a non-comic co-worker about the issue, he said that while they have every right to use the language as they do, I had a valid question and every right to raise it. Though it felt unfriendly to me around here in that way, I am glad I stayed for other reasons. I do learn a lot here, and I have met good people who I wouldn't have met without this site (unless God had a plan for us to meet somehow no matter what).

Robin, I think it is great that you emptied and made yourself feel better. As for bumming me out, it is necessary in this case I guess. It's better to know what goes on out there. I read it like I watch the news. Small doses. :-)

oh and Shaun
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 12:47 AM by Mindy Matijasevic

I totally agree about sometimes you do have to write some people off. And that there's no point chasing someone who doesn't like you. However, when dating someone I do like (and what's the point of dating someone you don't like), I don't tire of hearing good things. If he thinks I'm beautiful, that feels good. I don't think less of the person who can make me feel good. But, I know I'm probably not typical.

Mindy,
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 02:57 AM by Shaun Eli

I was referring to first dates.

"Dick" as Insult
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 10:57 AM by Adam Sank

I am in favor of people using any word they want to, especially in comedy. If it makes people laugh, and the intent is not to spread or inspire hatred, I'm OK with it.

But as someone with a deep interest in linguistics, I do find fascinating the words people use as insults.

"Dick" is particularly interesting as a put-down, because our language is usually sexist in the other direction. The dick is venerated in America, whereas feminine things usually have a negative connotation. "Pussy" is a far more common insult for a man than "dick" (On the other hand, "asshole" is the most common, and that one's gender-neutral, given that assholes, like opinions, are something everyone has.)

But I remember once in college, in a Queer Studies class, my gay friend Chad pointed out that the expression "That sucks!" is both sexist and homophobic. "After all," he pointed out, "I suck."

We all laughed, but it's a valid point: In our culture, if you put a penis in your mouth, you're considered bad, weak, degenerate, a faggot, a whore etc.

Which is odd, because the logical conclusion, then, is that a penis is a disgusting thing. Which means men are disgusting.

Food for thought, so to speak...

Sorry if I caused any serious concern - didn't mean to...
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 04:50 PM by Jon Hausman

I was not all that serious - sorry if anyone thought I really WAS offended or put off. Actually, I really doubt that anyone cared one way or the other how I feel, nor should they.

Adam's logic is dead-on, though; much better thought process than I could have laid out.

I just thought I'd stand up for my guy, even though he'd never stand up for me, seeing as he's a self-centered D..... well... you know....

Why dick?
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 05:13 PM by Robin Fox

Because each time these things happened I would really think.... " What a Dick" So thats how I am wired. Sure I could have said. Jerk, or Asshole, or Prick...... But in my head..... these are Dicks. Acting Dicky... not Pricky or Jurkey... or Assholish..... Whats concerns me it this. After 5 years at this this is what I dealt with..... I truly feel that dealing with less than pleasant people is part of the journey. Since my entire blog is about this journey I thought it was time to share this.

Why dick?
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 05:13 PM by Robin Fox

Because each time these things happened I would really think.... " What a Dick" So thats how I am wired. Sure I could have said. Jerk, or Asshole, or Prick...... But in my head..... these are Dicks. Acting Dicky... not Pricky or Jurkey... or Assholish..... Whats concerns me it this. After 5 years at this this is what I dealt with..... I truly feel that dealing with less than pleasant people is part of the journey. Since my entire blog is about this journey I thought it was time to share this.

So a MEAN, NASTY Woman Would Be Called a....
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 05:24 PM by AJ The Dog

CUNT?

Granted, I'm just a dog, but isn't that essentially the female equivalent of DICK? Why do people (almost always women) get so offended when another woman is called a CUNT? Regardless of what she does to bring that on. Doesn't seem consistent somehow.

And while we're on the subject of that area, I woke up at the Vet's Office once and my balls were gone. Anyone seen 'em? No crappy jokes - I'm serious. I need those things....

AJ, from what I know of dogs' balls...
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 06:46 PM by Mindy Matijasevic

you'll live a longer and happier life without them. I'm sure that's what your vet told your owners.

Adam, I agree with you that intent is what's important. However, I don't have to participate in certain things -- like attributing negative meaning to "pussy," and I don't. It's a powerful place (the birth canal, more nerve endings in a clit than an entire penis, multi-orgasmic, quite desired, etc.) so I think it's time people think of it as a compliment to be compared to one. But as I often say, I am not typical. And I'm not trying to be. We can all still share the planet and not be identical.

Enough already!
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 07:21 PM by Shaun Eli

Could we put an end to the anatomy discussion and stick to the topic at hand, which is Mean People in Comedy?
(and please, I meant no pun at ALL)

Sincerely,

The Blog Police

I Agree, Mindy
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 07:24 PM by Adam Sank

I was not advocating the derogatory use of "pussy," or any other word, for that matter.

I was simply commenting from a socio-linguistic perspective.

And Shaun, if this is all too hot for you, switch to the Disney Channel. This is a perfectly reasonable adult discussion.

thanks Adam
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 07:45 PM by Mindy Matijasevic

but I wasn't thinking you were advocating the derogatory use. thanks anyway for caring to clarify. and thanks for calling this perfectly reasonable adult conversation. i never know around here...people are so different.

Adam, I added to your comment:
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 07:52 PM by Mindy Matijasevic

We all laughed, but it's a valid point: In our culture, if you put a penis in your mouth, you're considered bad, weak, degenerate, a faggot, a whore etc.

and quite desired.

Thank you
Posted on 03/28/2008 at 09:49 PM by Bryan Fernandez/Fondew(stage name)

I would like to thank you for your interesting blog. I was so enthralled by it that once in a while I would scroll down and see how far away I was from the ending- hoping that magically more stories would appear and never end, it was just that interesting to me. These types of blogs are so helpful to beginning comics and I really appreciate them, let's new comics realize that- (as steve martin would say) Comedy is not Pretty. So thank you again Ms./Mrs. Fox for you're blog.Hope to hear more of your insight of the comedy world.

Happy New Year/Mom

2005-12-31T17:24:00.000-05:00

Congratulations to us all for making it through another year. No matter where you are in comedy it is always a challenge and that deserves some kind of acknowledgement. No matter where you are .... From the comedy virgin who finally got the courage to do that first open mic to the vet running all over the city to do a unpaid spot at 1 am just for the love of it.

We all give up so much to chase down that laugh waiting just around the corner in the next joke we may perform. Some of us are chasing fame but most of us are just chasing the chance to make people laugh and laugh so hard that they might even remember us and want to see us again.

The highlight of this past year for me was knowing that I made people laugh and I did it more often and better than I did the year before. I met a lot of great funny interesting people and unlike raising my family I didn't feel isolated and alone most of the time. Sure I melted down a few times and questioned why anyone in their right mind would pursue this.....and then Id come up with something in my head and need to get on a stage and share it and spin it and see if it could fly....and be funny to anyone besides myself.

I am so grateful to all the wonderful people I have met doing this..... I spent a long time dealing with people who bored me and didn't get me being a home based mom for all those years. I love my family a am so grateful that I could be home with them to love and take care of them....and it came at a price. I have wanted to be a comedian since I was a freshman in college and I tucked that dream away for so long....... and I did have fun being the funniest mom in the cul de sac and cracking them up on supermarket lines. When I started this comedy thing my one wish was to be able to say I am "a Comedian and have it be true". This year more than ever I feel that I have reached this goal. Its all up hill from here and If I'm lucky I will meet more amazing people than get more laughs than the year before.

Happy New Year !

Comments are below
Hmmmm...
Posted on 12/31/2005 at 06:21 PM by Harris Bloom

Do you really believe that some are chasing fame but most are chasing the chance to make people laugh and wanna see them/us again?

I'm not so sure.

I will say that in the few months that I've been doing this, my goal has already changed...fact is, comics just dont make coin...unless you're willing to be a road comic, living the life of a nomad for a few years, it's tough to make it as a full-time comic.

Between that and hearing what comics make per set (I think you can still qualify for food stamps), I still wanna be a comic, getting paid by NY clubs, but I don't think it'll ever be my only gig.

So I'm not sure where I fit in...actually...thinking about it...wanting people to come see you again is a type of fame...just on a lower scale.

My point? None..as usual.

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year
Posted on 12/31/2005 at 09:36 PM by

I am happy you are realizing your dream, Robin! I was delighted to see you are back at the NYCC...just bring liner for that seat! lol I am sure I will see you there because I am back in comedy. I am doing open mic at the Comic Strip. I wrote a whole new set... It is easy to get stuck at one level and stay there forever. It is true that you have to be ready to take it to "the road." I am not; so here I stay: locked into Manhattan comedy clubs and loving it! For me, "making it" is a booked spot that is not a "bringer!"

what am I chasing??
Posted on 01/03/2006 at 12:49 PM by Andy Kaufman

I am chasing a ghost!

Party of one.

2005-12-21T17:57:00.000-05:00

Not wanting to be one of those comics who bitch and moan....BUT. I have missed every holiday party this year except one. I was sick and then as soon as I feel better POW this dam strike and I missed another one. Im angry because I really enjoy spending down time with other comics. I usually have a lot of fun at these things and it just stinks that I missed all but one of them. Last year the same thing happened. So there is my hissy fit. I feel that the end of the year parties are a celebration for the Holidays and also for making it through another year..in comedy and that's a bid deal to me.

Comments are below
At least you were invited to a few....
Posted on 12/21/2005 at 02:59 PM by Harris Bloom

ack!

Join the Club
Posted on 12/21/2005 at 10:52 PM by April Brucker

I was taking finals and went home for holiday break. So I missed all the holiday parties. But luckily I am escaping the strike. Peace and happy holidays, April

Tuesday with Laurie

2005-12-13T21:44:00.000-05:00

I am so excited tonight I am hosting at NYCC and my role model and idol Laurie Kilmartin is performing. I can die now. I feel like I am really a comedian. Wow. When I started this thing I used to troll the web looking to learn anything I could from anyone. I found Laurie had a web site with a weekly blog she had kept for over 5 years. Like a nut that I am I read the entire thing over the course of that first summer in comedy. I learned so much from her. Firstly I love her as a comedian. I dont see her as a woman comic I see her as just a top notch comic....everything I would hope to be.

The second thing I loved about her is that she always seem grounded to the truth. She told the truth about the realities of this business she was truthful about all aspects of navigating he life in comedy. She gave me the closest sense of a road map when I was getting started.

I love her humor it is real and smart and has a sarcasum I adore.Laurie traveled and did the road for over a decade...then she came to NYC and had to start right where all of us do, she hit the open mic's. In her blog she talks about going from doing 40 minute sets to doing 5 minutes at a Village open mic. She was so talented that in two years time she had worked her way into the top clubs in NYC. Her first club to give her a break was the NYCC. I met Miss Kilmartin in front of the Improv 3 months ago and she was warm and approachable. It is a dream come true that I will be hosting a show she will be on. I have a respiratory infection and am feeling like shit but I don't have time to be sick. This is just so great.

I have small goals in comedy and this is a goal I didn't even know I had. My favorit quote is Her's " ALL we have control of is to try to get funnier" It is my mantra.

Comments are below
Nice!
Posted on 12/14/2005 at 07:03 AM by Greg Manuel

By any chance did she do the joke about how she could never marry Charlie Sheen? I saw her at an open mic some two or three years ago, and I always liked that one...wordplay just gets me, you know?

Posted on 12/14/2005 at 10:50 AM by Raquel D'Apice

Congrats! Hope it went well!

Congrats
Posted on 12/14/2005 at 06:16 PM by April Brucker

She is one funny lady (you are too). I saw her act a while ago I believe when I first came to nyc. I nearly wet my pants

Im Sick
Posted on 12/14/2005 at 08:10 PM by Robin Fox

I guess its been to much excitement and late nights for this old lady. Last night was really a tough night. We had a million comics to put up. Lorrie was gonna perform at half past nine but came back around ten fourty five. She remembered me from infront of the Improv where I met her a few months ago. I intorduced her and as I did half the room walked. Oh my.She asked the room to give ME a hand for hosting which was really nice. Only one other comic did that last night. She did too long a set and it was my fault. No one told me how long she was to do. I figured 8 minutes. I felt awful. She was wonderful but she struggled the room was really tough. The show went on till the we we hours.

There were a few standouts last night. Chriss Souflee went on right after Larie and killed it was a spectacular set. A black woman named Georgette was also very strong. Alex Rubar was a total nut as the "Angry Lumber Jack" Kiesha Zoalar ,and Katie McKenna all were real stand out stand ups last night. I got home at 3 am and I am so sick with a respritory infection and cold.

Really?
Posted on 12/14/2005 at 08:48 PM by Harris Bloom

SHE can't even do eight minutes?

And to think,I get pissed when I can only do five.

Feel better.

I was there
Posted on 12/15/2005 at 11:33 AM by Jeanne Noll

and Robin did a great job and I was watching when Laurie got up - she did great considering the fact that so many people got up right as she was getting on the stage. And - yes it was a long long night!

Still sick
Posted on 12/15/2005 at 04:42 PM by Robin Fox

Thanks Jeany (NOLLL) As I wrote you even though you performed for 8 people you could see that the writing is there. You were really kind to stay till we locked the doors. Also I have to mention Grace Clayton she was a 3rd time on stager and she was very good.

I so wanted to go out to the Lantern tonight but Im sick still

Come back an wow me in another six months

2005-12-12T21:27:00.000-05:00

That is what Starla told me to do after my last audition. She was really positive until she found out it was my first audition and said that if that's the case comeback in 6 months and wow me again. Tonight I will audition again. I am not feeling sharp. I feel tiered all day and depressed. I don't know if I should do other material or the same stuff I did last time but with my better timing and new tags. I will go with the latter. I had a great audition at NYCC for industry and did well. I did the best at this point in time that I am capable of doing. One agent passed on me and the other liked me and wants to see more in 6 months.

That all said.... I feel like someone let all the air out of my head. I had an argument with Mr Fox yesterday and my life is at an all time stress high. I am a pro. I have a 6 minute set for a 5 min audition. I need to see the room before I figure out what to cut. Go know. I am writing this to remind myself that this is all I work for. I sometimes wonder why I am so full of angst and second guessing myself so much. I am really a good comedian. If it was baseball and they kept stats... Mine are good. It just is I am an approval junkie and this entire process takes a lot out of me. I just want to get booked more on better shows. It is not the fame it is the undying need to perform in good rooms and to make people laugh...which I can do.

I love doing Adams room. Every time I go there I really do kill. The high from that lasts for days. I love doing Don't tell Mamas for the same reasons. I know this is what I should be doing with my life. I have known I'm a comic all my life. I feel like shit ...But I'm going and I am gonna Wow that woman if it kills me.

Comments are below
so how good did you do?
Posted on 12/13/2005 at 12:16 AM by Josh Homer

As an artist
Posted on 12/13/2005 at 12:37 AM by H. P.

The artist is always critical of the art they paint. never realizing the art in itself is inspiring and the ARTIST IS the masterpiece. So I hoped you riped them all a new one.

Remember the Pearl Necklace.

Peace

no soap radio
Posted on 12/13/2005 at 02:30 AM by Robin Fox

I am sad to report that I did not wow her tonight. I miss read the room. I was the first up after the passed pros. Vinnie Brand was up before me and had an excellent set the room loved. I should have taken notice of the age of the room. I had planned my strong KY opener and it was wrong for the room. It was filled with people even older than myself and I am older than dirt. The first joke that more than usually kills hit soft. I pertended that it was fine. I moved into my second joke and it landed a bit stronger but still softer than expected. Then I hit into my stride and things went well. I did this very same set last week at an industry showcase at NYCC and it killed. It is a 5 minute set that took at NYCC 6 minutes so I was fearfull and cut out a few jokes and timed it for 4 mins 30 seconds leaving room for my imagined applause breaks and laughter. I was done at 4min 30 seconds and ended short. I was underwhelmed. Not to make excuses...but I was having an off day the entire day at home. I quit smoking and was irritable more than normal. Im off them 3 weeks one day.

I also like an ass asked Vinne to stay and watch my set so it was a double audition....more pressure. Lastly the Comical Mag. was there to photograph me for an upcoming feature story....what am I high?? I only wish it would have at least been enjoyable.

Starla came out to talk to me. She didnt remember me at all. I refreshed her with a comment she gave me about a joke that I had changed. She said first off I ran short...not good. Then she said I had really good punch lines but my set ups were too long. This is the same set that last time she complimented me in the set up punch ratio. So I dont know what to do with that. She didnt think my opener was strong enough and I told her it was wrong for the room tonight and she agreed. She also told me I should have been in the balcony watching the sets before me to get a sence if things needed changing. I told her Im new and I dont know how to zig and zag under pressure yet and that I could have saved it with replacing the joke with another and then told it to her ...making her laugh.

She told me I am going to get this right eventually and she looks forward to seeing me in 6 months. I know this I have no choice but to continue to work my butt off and just ghet funnier. I find this comedy thing is getting harder and harder yet I really feel like I am developing comedy some stronger comedy abs. So my 6 pack is 6 months away. She lead me to believe that she is sure that I will nail this and its a matter of time and timing.

Lastly the comedy planets werent in line tonight...I wasnt in the zone but I know I will get there somehow.

Tonight Tuesday I am hosting at NYCC. This was just a dream a year ago. I am thrilled because my idol...Laurie Kilmartin is on the bill. She is my inspiration...and the woman who taught me my mantra, All we have control of is to try to get funnier. Im trying and then some.

I left the audition tonight and went to the Holiday party at NYCC. I had such a great time and I have to say it was wonderful to be with so many friends and people I just enjoy so much. I also feel that I have gained the respect of people who I never dreamed I could ever deserve to share a stage with just a few years ago. So I guess it is a good ending to this year. I am just finishing my 3rd year and I am futher than I thought Id be and have so much more to learn and grow. I dont want a sitcom....I dont want to be Ellen. I just want to be a working comic who is booked on shows and gets the chance to perform in shows with other good comics and hold my own. I am too hard on myself most of the time....but despite the outcome tonight I am truly proud of the work I am doing and Im a glutton for punishment...this wont stop me. Im stubborn, Im married 23 years I can handle ups and downs with the best of them.

Oh well...as they say...
Posted on 12/13/2005 at 07:24 AM by Harris Bloom

Whatever doesn't kill ya postpones the inevitable.

Better luck next time (and I love Kilmartin too - she did a set at a show I was on last night).

Congrats on Quitting Smoking....
Posted on 12/13/2005 at 09:51 AM by Al Wagner

Soon, very soon, you will stop thinking about it...You are certainly tough, talented and determined, so I know you can beat the habit and the audition process eventually.

And if I ever get an audition at the Comic Strip, of course I won't pass but I am going to say it is my fiftieth audition so she tells me to pack it in...no hope for me. ;)

You can do it!
Posted on 12/13/2005 at 10:33 AM by Jeanne Noll

Hi Robin. I quit smoking about 13 years ago. Haven't had one since. If I could do it - you definitely can. When I used to crave a cigarette I'd go outside and take a giant breath of fresh air into my lungs - it did help. Also, each time you would normally buy a pack, put the money in a jar - at the price they are today - you'll have enough for a small vacation before ya know it. And sorry about your audition last night. If this helps - I know people who've been doing it much longer than 3 years and aren't auditioning yet - so you have come far.

Noll
Posted on 12/13/2005 at 04:13 PM by Kelly Shannon

yeah, she quit smoking but now she's drinking (see previous blog) :)

I'm sorry Robin.
Posted on 12/13/2005 at 07:14 PM by Dave O'Gara

I'm really shocked and surprised. You are really talented, hell you know that. I'm sure you'll get it next time. Shit happens kid, you will make it happen. Stay strong.

coming from you Dave
Posted on 12/14/2005 at 02:16 AM by Robin Fox

Thats a rave. You know how wonderful I and talented I think you are. Im really not to upset Starla was very positive and feels strongly that I will pass eventualy. I forgot to mention when I walked into the Club The woman who beat me at the Ladies of Laughter was there. I got jolted by it. She is another mom comic and I paniced that Id have to follow her and it would be bad. She in the end went on after me. I know that if I dont give up and god I dont know why I am so determined in the face of all thats up against me I will make it. Its a living thing this comedy thing and I just have to hope that next time I will be on my A game.

Shut the fuck up.

2005-12-09T19:06:00.000-05:00

Wed. night I did an Industry Showcase at NYCC, Buddy Flip had produced. It was my night to shine and I had a really strong set. I was in the zone, the audience was in the zone the planets were all in line and best of all It was in front of industry and being taped.

I was nervous because I hadn't performed in over 2 weeks the longest I have taken a break since beginning. After the show I headed downtown to Sal's and he offered to put me up....love him... I followed Rick Shapiro who is god to me and did very well....thank-you planets.

The next night I had 2 spots at the NYCC one in the big room at 9:30 and the second at 11:30. The room was late to fill up and they were a loud group of folks. As the show began it was a bringer I had a booked spot on.... Mary Domino who is cute and hysterical took to the stage to MC. Cell phones were ringing every few minutes people were still being seated. There was a group of people in the front of the room closest to the door....who wouldn't shut up. I was standing by the booth and people all around them were getting annoyed that they were talking. The mic the night before was really hot...you had to hold it away...this night it was running very soft. With talkers it helps somewhat for me if the mic is loud because I can focus on my own voice.

I am pumped up from the night before. I dressed up both nights and felt very confident. Mary introduced me and I took to the stage. As I am walking to the stage the guy in the front says to his group ( I was told this later by a comic sitting near them and heard some of it myself) Great another woman comic I hate them. I hit the stage and I'm off to a strong start. I have them, then the talkers all turn their backs and are in a huddle talking louder than I am on stage. I say " Feel free to ignore me I'm married 23 years I'm used to it" They keep talking I continue with my set and the room is laughing and I pause before the next set up and the Guy in the group shouts out "Maybe if you were funny I would be talking". I continue.... I'm like George Costanza in Sienfeld "Hey George the ocean called their running out of shrimp" ALL I can think about is a comeback and I have none. I begin the next joke and get the light. I start the set up wrong and am so angry they are still talking people around them are all annoyed. I say " I got the light so I just have a few more seconds up hear and instead of finishing this joke Id much rather say some thing else.....SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! pause........................no really I mean it SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! I'm Robin Fox." As I walk by their table I say to them.... I hope when your friend goes up they get treated the same way you treated me...what goes around. " I walk to get my coat and everyone is high fiving me comics and some audience. I am told I was good. I am thanked for shutting them up. I go into the hall and obsess with what I could have done or said. I wanted to say something like this isn't the movies I can actually hear you. I didn't want to sound like an ass...or cross a line. Mary the MC runs out and says wow that hardly every happens during a showcase. I lost my Heckel virginity. Hell I'm in my third year what did I expect....but just like the real thing It is the next day and I'm still sore. I was standing by the bar and was telling a friend what happened. The pro comics and people at this much longer than me were wondering what the big deal was. I was a being such a girl.... I was really upset by how cold they were to it. Then again..... if you do this its as much a part of the business as the gum under the tables. To them it wasn't a big deal. One comic said.... I love a good ass hole. I love fucking with them back. I don't.

I felt like I was back in 5th grade and being picked on....the reason I became funny in the first place. What was I gonna say....your not coming to my birthday party. The good news is they were quiet the rest of the night.I was waiting in the hall to do my next set and so many comics and audience people said something nice to me. Mostly things like...Im glad you told them off...they were ruining the night. Others just said I was funny and wish they could have heard more. I have been in rooms where people were really chatty sometimes after I have gone up. I have gone up to them and said can you be quiet...Id like to hear. If your at a bringer and your a comic maybe you could do something to help a comic out before it comes to getting nasty. I don't know if that's the answer.

What is it with people that they don't know how to act during live entertainment. Is it that they don't go out of the house and just don't know how to behave?? Turn your cell phone off. ...and if you have to talk leave the room or don't sit in front of the stage at least. To the comics bringging these people ...please if you see your firends ackting like ass holes say something to them....the set you save may be your own. And to myself.....Grow a thicker skin.

Later in the night their comic went up she was so bad it was a train wreck. She looked like she was high and was incoherent. Her group not only talked during her set one got up and walked out shouting "I don't know her'. In the hallway after another woman was from the group and she was talking so loudly as was the entire area by the bathroom.... The manager walked by and asked them to keep it down. I then said...".Yea just Shut the fuck up" The woman recognized my voice and looked right at me I stared her down.... she looked away.

I went to do my second set in the small room their were 8 people left I had a good set. It is never a done deal with this thing. Two days ago I felt on top of the world..... today I feel like I've just started.

Comments are below
congrats
Posted on 12/09/2005 at 04:17 PM by Josh Homer

everyone gets heckled. once a woman heckled me because I am half white and half black, and she 'don't like halfbreeds'. I always follow the Patrick Swayze road house rule, be nice, if they talk, be nice, if they call you names, be nice. Be nice until it's time not to be nice, that way the audience is on your side when you rip them a new one, you don't get people thinking 'man that comic is an asshole' instead they think 'i am glad someone said something to that jerk'.

some clubs ask talkers to be quiet, and if they keep it up to leave (see the IMPROV) but NYCC pretty much leaves you to your own devices up there. i did a show there last monday with ssome english people who talked the whole show, no matter how many comics told them to STFU, or made fun of them. some people just want to be part of the show.

Posted on 12/09/2005 at 04:38 PM by Chris McDevitt

I like to ask everyone in the audience who paid good money to hear a comedy show and not to listen to a drunken douchebage to raise their hand. Then I ask them to extend their middle finger. Then I ask them to wave it at said drunken douchebag.
I like doing that.
P.S., it doesn't work so good on the Train.

Robin...
Posted on 12/09/2005 at 08:15 PM by Adrienne

That room was terrible. They were so chatty, that and I thought the mic was really low. I wish I would have told them to shut the fuck up, I would have felt better about the set then too.

You were great dispite them
Posted on 12/09/2005 at 10:24 PM by Robin Fox

I was so angry I wanted to spit. Its a bringger show you jerk. I only wish I was sucking really tanking and it happened because then I would have felt I deserved it. It was a clear case of someone just not wanting any female to do good. Adrienne you were fantastic all the same even with the talking... Loved the new material. I was so proud of you.

Bringers...
Posted on 12/10/2005 at 09:47 AM by Al Wagner

Seem to bring out the novices...the people who would never be in the club if it weren't for their friends...so without excusing bad behavior it just seems to happen more often at bringers.

At least you got your wish, not only was their friend treated poorly, but by her own group!

Sorry for the difficult experience. I once had a bringer turn out badly since my own group were the idiots, but I won't dwell since I don't want anyone to hear my plaintive roar...

Glad the industry show went well!

-A Fan

Robin, you can't trust the planets!
Posted on 12/10/2005 at 09:58 AM by Kantad Svendsgaard

Seriously, if I've learned anything in the couple of years I've been doing comedy, it is typical to feel very high in the stratosphere one night only to plumb a new low the very next night. I've gotta think the comedians who don't quit and keep plugging along and don't let the last show affect the next show are the ones who make it big. I wish I had your courage - I would have told the Apollo crowd to shut the fuck up. On second thought...

By the way, you were great at Buddy Flip's show. Other comics asked me if I was going up that night, and I was proud to say "no, I'm here to see Robin Fox!"

I feel your pain
Posted on 12/10/2005 at 10:02 AM by Jeanne Noll

Robin, a few years ago I did a show - it was my first real show (not a bringer or open mike). I was doing a guest spot (five minutes at the front). The MC was also the booker and a regular MC at this show so he knew everyone and had inside jokes and they loved him... I was right after him to do my 5 minute guest spot. Right before he went up he told me "Make me look good - you're a professional!" No Pressure There! There was a really drunk lady in front and she wasn't exactly heckeling me - just totally incoherent and making funny loud noises. But she was a regular audience member and had a lot of friends there. I wouldn't dare say anything to her at that point anyway because I very seldom strayed from my totally memorized set. I think I ended up doing 2 1/2 minutes and forgot half of my punchlines - I was extremely flustered! Anyway, when I got down, the pro comics who were there came up to me and said things like, "You get used to that kid..." Like stuff that really left me feeling like everyone knew (thought) that I had no business being there. I came across like it was my first time being on stage and it really hurt. I just remember not being able to get that horrible feeling that I could have said something to save myself, put her in her place and make it funny, out of my mind. I haven't encountered anything like that since so I don't know if I've learned anything from it or if I would react any better if it happened today - but I think from experience I may not get so flustered - at least! I'm doing a bringer at NYCC next week (first time) so hopefully the mike will be loud and those people won't be there or they will have learned something from you. Anyway - good for you for maintaining your composure and saying something to them later on and congrats on your first heckling experience!!!

rule of bringing
Posted on 12/10/2005 at 12:33 PM by Alan Schwartz

If I have doubts as to whether my friend can behave themselves in a comedy club, I wouldn't bring them to see me. That being said, I saw the girl in the hallway being noisy, and while I didn't see her behavior in the room itself, her behavior outside it gave me the picture of what you had to go through. While that may have sucked, eventually it will be a distant memory while it's another night and you're killing uninterrupted.

Look at it from this viewpoint
Posted on 12/10/2005 at 12:42 PM by Shaun Eli

You said that the comedian they came to see was horrible. Clearly they did NOT want to be there. I'm not defending their behavior, but knowing that their friend was so bad, they obviously came into the room with a negative attitude.

Thanks for all the kindness
Posted on 12/10/2005 at 03:37 PM by Robin Fox

People think Im nice but I am really not. I would have paid someone big money to beat that guy up and given me pictures. I dont care why he was there... Keep your mouth shut. I chatt at a whisper and feel guilty when I talk during a show. The other night I had to move my seat because a comic keept talking to me and wouldnt get the hint...that I wanted to hear the show. Gina the manager asked me if she needed to go into the room and handle them, after my letting them have it they were quiet. Its good to know that the club stands behind you.

You go girlfriend!
Posted on 12/11/2005 at 01:11 PM by April Brucker

I think more comics should tell hecklers to shut the fuck up. I mean, you are a very nice lady off stage but I gotta hand it to you, you don't take shit from anyone!

I have so so much to learn

2005-11-19T04:21:00.000-05:00

I just want to say that I am so sick of my set I could barf. I do a set that is basically a decent set. In a good room it kills...but what wouldn't. In an average room and if I go on before the check spot I hold my own...I do a good set. In a small room late at night after 25 comics I don't bomb but it's hit and miss.

I did a show the other night at Sal's very late into the night. All that was left in the audience were stragglers and people too drunk to leave. I followed the brilliant Rodney Laney....Montreal, Comedy Central, all the good stuff. I did my best material and I just did ok.

Tonight I did a show at a church... I thought is was going to be at a firehouse for the past few weeks and found out differently yesterday. I knew this meant PG so I went threw my sets and picked out a few thing dropped out a few others. When I got to the church I was told no "F "word.... I assumed that included no "C" words either. I use the word cunt and cock sucker in a few of my bits. I take to the stage and I knew I had to replace a "Fuck you" with a "Bite Me". I get to the stage and I cant remember what the word I'm gonna use instead of Fuck . I start with my set and out of no where I jump 3 jokes ahead. Now I back track.. I do the "Bite me" joke ...it hits. I totally leave out my Trophy wife bit, by mistake. Now I'm moving on and thinking ..."Can I go back to it?" I am thinking ahead and performing and for a short second loose my place. This has not happened to me on stage in a long long time. I trudge along and now "I got them" there laughing at all of it. I decide its a really easy room. I am planning on doing 10 minutes I want to do longer... I could have gone on because I see its going really well. I think what to do what to do.... I cant remember what other clean stuff I have. All the time I'm worried about cursing... I curse an often don't know it. I have my censor on full blast in my head. I say the word "Bitch" on purpose then I pause and say "I'm going to Hell but you guys already know that.... I'm Jewish" Off the top of my head they love it. I figure okay riff Robin riff. I go on to say something about my brother who is married to an Italian girl.... I say yeah he's not Jewish anymore he's Italian.... I know this cause he calls it gravy not sauce anymore. THUD THUD THUD. Now that is a joke I never did on stage but in real life i.e.. supermarket lines, with friends at Dunkin Donuts it kills. I feel thrown, from the car. I finish up and end on a big note.

The woman who ran the room tells me I killed...Thanks ( you don't know good) The other comics all complement me. The ladies in the bathroom ask for my email. The woman who paid me says she loved me.

I don't know if I had PMS or I am just in my 3rd year phase of feeling...I WANT TO BE A REAL COMIC GOD DAM IT . I wasn't happy, I forgot 3-4 different tags. I left out 2 jokes. I talked to fast. I hate my material.

I think the real problem was I was doing well enough but I wasn't in my zone. I developed a nasty habit of doing the same set over and over because I feel every show (especially ones with over 150 people) I have to do my A set. By the way my A set is really only a B-. I am getting more shows for paying audiences and out of fear I stay in my safety zone. So what has changed???? I think this is it.. I have been doing less and less open mic's. I used to do 4 a week and sometimes 3 in one night. You can work the kinks out of a joke and become comfortable with your material when you do it often in a room where your doing it mostly for yourself. I got Lazy that's it in a nut shell. The second I had to adjust my set to fit a format of a Church I wasn't as good as I could have been. I thought I was prepared but at the end of the day I should have done more. Its getting cold and the mic's in the Village have gotten spread out. I used to do 3 shows on a Tuesday... now I can only do 2. The real road block has been getting weekend work. I don't feel good about being out Friday night and Saturday night and then doing a booked show during the week and then going out another 2 nights. My husband who I call Mr Wonderful in my act is just that wonderful... but I cant be out 6 nights a week.

In the beginning I would do my sets into a tape recorder over and over...at home. I would listen to the sets and see which way a joke sounded better. I have a friend who videos herself at home....doing her new material and watching them to see what works. I don't know. Maybe that's a way to go.

To those of you who are saying Robin you were probably great your being really hard on yourself I say YES!!! I have to be. If you think I did well here's the litnes test. The headliner was Rodney Laney the same comic I followed at Sal's the other night. He was awesome so funny and they loved him. I was in the back of the room after the show. Anyone who walked by shook his hand, hugged him stayed and chatted. Every now and then Id get a you were funny too. In the kitchen with smokers I got a few you were funny's. I don't expect to get the accolades of a headliner. I just think being able to truly assess what we have on stage is critical to getting better. I have so much more to learn.

I think its about levels. I was really good at my last level. Now I've gotten better at the same time I am performing with better comics and I am at the bottom looking up again. I feel like I'm starting all over again. I have been writing everyday for at least a half hour for a few weeks now. I cant wait to have something really great come out of the process. So far I have struck no gold. I sometimes feel that all I care about is this obsession to get funnier. I have to believe I will as long as I don't give up. My mantra is from Dr Phil (I'm Pathetic I know) Winners do what the losers wont. I hope its true.

Comments are below
Dr. Phil can do many things...but...
Posted on 11/19/2005 at 04:40 AM by Peter Greyy

Dr. Phil can't help you like material that you're sick of...

What's worse is...if you're sick of your material, it probably shows--maybe not consciously, but in a subconcious way...and that may be why your A-set isn't always getting A-level responses.

Phil would point out that you KNOW the things you need to do...you just aren't doing them. You're writing--but you're not taking that material to as many open mics as you had before...and you're feeling like you have to do your A-set in most every setting...

You KNOW what you need to do. You need to take that stuff you've been writing--even if it isn't the absolute flat-out perfect guaranteed-to-kill material that you wish it was--and you need to put it out there...to see what it does in front of an audience--an open mic audience, sure...but you need to get it off of the page and into your head.

You do that stuff in front of people...you hear what THEY find funny about it, maybe it leads you into new directions...maybe it just allows you to drop the parts that just aren't funny--but you get back into the process of building new material...material that you're not sick of...material that, at some point, you're going to be excited to try in front of weekend audiences...to replace some of the bits from your A-set that annoy you the most...

Allow yourself the excitement of WORKING on something--something that may or may not work right off the bat... Let the WORK be the goal--because if you want it to be perfect right out of the gate, you'll never allow yourself the chance to TRY something and SEE if it works... Chances are, if you need it to be perfect right from the start--you'll never do ANYTHING new.

Another thing...do you HAVE to run at your top speed at all times? No. Give your self the opportunity to catch your breath--to really take a look at what you're doing and how it's working out for you... It sounds like you need to recharge your batteries--and it might be that you're in need of a slightly new perspective, to rethink what you're doing...and what you want to do.

Just get out of your comfort zone (especially because it is making you uncomfortable)--and concentrate on the process of doing something that you DO want to do...and focus on the things that you CAN'T WAIT to get up on that stage and tell other people.

The things that interest you the most--are the things that you will share with the most passion...and that passion will translate on stage...and you will connect with others, perhaps in a way you haven't been connnecting lately...

If you hate your material...if you're tired of it...if it no longer interests you the way it once did...you need to set that material aside... Revisit it with fresh eyes and ears, perhaps...or pull it out when you absolutely need to do material that is time tested and true...but CONCENTRATE on FRESH, NEW and PERSONALLY INVOLVING ideas that make you excited for your chance to take 'em around the block for a spin (so all the neighbors can see...)

Oh, and put down the god damned fork. I don't know why, but Dr. Phil always seems to say that, doesn't he?

pg--seattle

Just what the Dr. Ordered.
Posted on 11/19/2005 at 08:16 AM by Robin Fox

Thanks Peter, I hear you. All the things your saying are just what I must do. I also need to be in the moment more. The real pitfall of last night was that I was consantly editing in my head and watching out to stay clean. I lost my focus and the only reason the set came off to the audience as a good set was that I am so well rehearsed that I was able to pull it off. I need a well rehersed clean set that I know just what Im doing down to the last line before hitting the stage. Then I can zig or zag but I will be able to be more in the moment.

As for burn out ... I am going on vacation this week for the first time in 2 years. Its with the kids so for this mom its not a total rest. I cant wait to get away.

I am MCing more and more lately and have developed on stage alot of one liners for that kind of job. That has been my writing focus before this past 3 weeks of writing everyday. I will one by one start to take the new material to the open mics and see how it looks coming out of my mouth instead of on paper. I thank you so much for all your imput. The work is in the doing.

Thanks for the stream of consciousness
Posted on 11/20/2005 at 04:53 PM by

It's nice to see a little female agony so well displayed. Keep up the good work.

Strong Stand Up is like Fine Wine...it can't be rushed.
Posted on 12/02/2005 at 10:11 PM by Luchia

I honestly don't read blogs but Robin I find you so interesting a comic, that I just had to stop by and check yours out. I can so identify with everything you're saying and trust me you aren't the only one who is hard on yourself--I beat myself up nightly LOL! But then I take a breath and remember that what we're doing is literally one of the most difficult things in the world to do and there are many aspects of it that just can not be rushed. No matter how talented the comic, it takes TIME a lot of TIME to totally tap into that talent. All we can do is enjoy the ride on the way.

A New York Bargin

2005-11-17T14:54:00.000-05:00

Sal's Comdey Hole has opened his new club on 87 Macdougal underneath cafe del Marre. The Weds. open mic will kick off at 6PM today....no cover! The new club is great you got to see it. Best of all Sal is a comic himself and brings that feel to the club.

Sal told me shortly he will be doing an open mic 7 days a week how cool will that be!

Comments are below
That is very cool......
Posted on 11/17/2005 at 03:18 AM by Adrienne

There once was a host from NJ....hosting Limerick

2005-11-12T03:54:00.000-05:00

This week I will be hosting the Tuesday Night Morrison Motel at the Limerick House. It is a tremendous honor to me because the Motel was the first regular open mic I did when I ventured out of my Comfort Zone of the Stress Factory in NJ. I have a huge affection for this room that John Morrison has put together. It is one of the best of its kind. I have once a month Big shoes to fill. Matt O' Brian did a fantastic job and I still miss him. The other 3 hosts of the month are all talented and lovely people. Ed,Lorrie and Guy are all great.

I still remember the first night I went to the Motel I was so scared and in awe. We had our own group in NJ and we all week after week learned and grew at our craft. Coming to NYC was an entirely different experience. The host my first night in was Lori Chase. Lori is a wonderful comedian and host. I remember thinking.....will I ever be able to do that? Look how at ease she is. That night and during the first few shows I did there I saw Rick Shapiro, Bill Burr, Jason Good, Sue Costello, Carmen Lynch, and Michelle Bateau....... the bar had been raised . Week after week I watched and would all week long drive myself nuts to come up with anything new to bring to the Motel and see if it flew. Slowly I got to know so many talented and dedicated people. It was like that song...NY NY if I can make it there Ill make it anywhere.

So even though I have been fortunate to be hosting at NYCC lately... I feel a different pressure at the Motel. At NYCC the audience is always different. At the Morrison it is a core group that comes in each week and I want to have something new and fresh each time. I was originally thinking of asking each person to answer a dumb question once they finishes.... Like I don't know Paper or Plastic. But that's really dumb. I was thinking of reading passages from one of the 2 women I hate most on this earths auto biography..... Kathy Lee. ( Star Jones being the second) But what I think I will do is just write a short bit to begin the show and just try to explore my funny self on stage here and there.... I promise more there than here. I think this is a good idea because it is an open mic for me too. I am learning how to bring the real Robin to the stage and just be funny from the core and not so much from staged material. We will see it will be a work in progress. I would love to have music but I don't own an I Pod and wouldn't know how to work it if I did..... I just figured out how to text message on my cell after 3 years.

I am performing later tonight at Ramapo College. It is my first college gig so far. Every time I get onstage there is something new to be afraid of and overcome or learn from. Hey its college lets see what I can learn.

Lastly the comic who used my bio as a template changed hers at long last. I had to send her 2 letters but she changed it. It might have been nice If she ever answered my emails at all ...or said sorry....but no. Call me catty or another word that begins with "C" I took her out of my circle. Her new bio is good because its her own and she has quite an unique resume.

Comments are below
I'll see you there
Posted on 11/12/2005 at 08:34 AM by Alan Schwartz

I've been Morrison's sign-up guy on tuesdays, I guess he feels a Jew should collect the money. Anyway, I'm sure you'll do a great job hosting, and I'm looking forward to seeing it. I also took that lady out of my circle. She's still trying to get in my square and rectangle, but I won't let her into those either.

Great
Posted on 11/12/2005 at 11:29 AM by H. P.

Hope to see ya there.

Peace

The Motel
Posted on 11/12/2005 at 08:04 PM by Amy Patrick

I still miss O'Brien too. He was so great. Also, I have read Kathy Lee's bio. It's tremendous. Does Star have one I'll check it out. Have you seen her website?

Yes I have seen Stars web site
Posted on 11/13/2005 at 12:30 AM by Robin Fox

SHe doenst have a book. But here wedding web site is so sick. She paid for nothing. Everyone was told to do it for free since she was selling the photos to all the rags. What a ass. Even if she lost all that weight.

Good Luck Hosting!
Posted on 11/13/2005 at 04:55 PM by Adrienne

great
Posted on 11/13/2005 at 06:36 PM by Sean O'Connor

you did awesome, colleges are so fun and easy.

Glad she changed her bio
Posted on 11/14/2005 at 11:17 AM by Kelly Shannon

quite a unique resume? Are you sure it's hers? Just because she changed from yours doesn't mean she didn't steal somebody elses. I took her out of my circle also.

Bio-hazard.....some one liked my bio too much

2005-11-09T04:05:00.000-05:00

I was invited to join someone's comedy circle the other day..... I didn't know this comic at all. Not to act like the cool kids at the cool kids lunch table I accepted the invite. I don't want to make someone feel rejected the more the merrier. Curiosity hit me and I wondered if I knew her so after about a week I hit her photo and go to her profile page. She is not from the NYC area. So she might know me just from here on the Soapbox. Then I read her profile and oh my she has lifted my bio. Not that it is a big thing but in someway's its huge. I spent a long time putting that together. I think it reflects who and what I am about. I worked in advertising and really never had to write about myself before and it really bothers me. Now I am going to write to her and nicely ask her to change her bio. Here Judge for yourself....

Here is mine: Robin has spent the past 17 years being a Mom and dieting. Three years ago she gave up dieting and decided to make her life long dream of being a comic a reality. She is happier than she can ever remember and will never look back. Original and funny, she talks from her heart about the frustrations of suburban living and raising a family. No longer is she willing to just be the funniest Mom on the cul de sac.

Here is hers

Comedian xxxxxx has spent the past 14 years being a Mom and dieting. Because it became too hard to juggle both she gave up dieting and decided to take a sit down job with a local invention company. Original and funny, she talks from her heart about the frustrations of public schools, work, public transportation and raising a daughter.

Now I know there are more important things in this world to worry about ie Global warming....writing a clean 30 minute set...... but you know this really bothered me. What was she thinking....? If youll hack a bio....... what else should get nailed down and bolted to the floor???

I just sent her a short note .......

Hi Comedian XXXXX, I wanted to know if I knew you after you invited me to your circle. Tonight I checked out your profile and noticed that you used my bio as a template for your own. I know copying is the sincerest form of flattery....but No. I spent a long time working on that and it is mine. In a bussiness that prides itself on originality....you can do better I am sure. Please change it. Thank-you. Best wishes Robin.

Comments are below
Wow
Posted on 11/09/2005 at 03:22 AM by Adrienne

Sounds like Single White Female. I like the part where you say, "I know copying is the sincerest form of flattery....but No" That was great. Let me know how it turns out.

Ditto on that
Posted on 11/09/2005 at 07:56 AM by April Brucker

Single white female is one scary assed movie. And copying is a sincere form of flattery, but not copying almost directly. Wow. Scary.

And one or two comedians I didn't know asked me to join their circles. I was like cool, even though I don;t know you. But this whole circle thing is like facebook, which isfriendster for college kids basically. Next thing you know comedian XXX will be trying to poke you. (Robin, ask your daughter about facebook).

Single White Female
Posted on 11/09/2005 at 08:32 AM by Alan Schwartz

With all due respect ladies, I just don't see how you can kill somebody with a shoe.

That is just down right tacky!
Posted on 11/09/2005 at 09:22 AM by Kelly Shannon

Good thing she doesn't really know you or she would be stealing your jokes too. I think you did the right thing and with class I should add.

Just woke up
Posted on 11/09/2005 at 09:34 AM by Robin Fox

Its 9:44 and she hasnt gotten back to me. Will keep you posted.

that's a bit scary and messed up
Posted on 11/09/2005 at 10:02 AM by Josh Homer

I agree with Kelly, if someone will take a bio, I think they will take a joke.

#1 FAN
Posted on 11/09/2005 at 11:01 AM by Jud Heine

This may be an inopportune time, but Robin, will you please join my circle? I'm a huge fan. I love that joke you do about....oh, forget it.

Posted on 11/09/2005 at 11:20 AM by Robert Driemeyer

I like your "Not to act like the cool kids at the cool kids lunch table I accepted the invite." I didn't know this person but also accepted. Lucky for me she's not an overweight, bald, ex-chorus boy or I might have had similar troubles.

Hey Robin
Posted on 11/09/2005 at 11:37 AM by H. P.

That was me silly. It's just that I can't come in second, so, why not take from first. By the way, tell me when your next performance is so i could bring my recorder, last time it was difficult to write down all of your jokes to claim for my own.

Peace

you're putting comedian XXXXX in the top 10
Posted on 11/09/2005 at 11:53 AM by Josh Homer

although you never say this person's name, most know who it is, and we have all run to thier page on soap box, and guess what, now they are in the top 10!!!!!! I'm stealing your bio!

No Shit!
Posted on 11/09/2005 at 12:34 PM by Adam Sank

Bitch is ahead of ME now! I won't have it!

You go, Robin!
Posted on 11/09/2005 at 12:47 PM by Correne Kristiansen

As always, you handled yourself like a professional. Next time, though, I think we'll have to beat her up on the playground after lunch...as long as I get to sit at your lunch table.

I didn't want to tell you, but
Posted on 11/09/2005 at 01:39 PM by Ray Rivera

I've been using your mom material, I just couldn't think of jokes about being a mom, especially since I've not given birth, but you never know. What we'll do is if we are on the same show, I won't do your jokes.

Buh-bye....
Posted on 11/09/2005 at 01:38 PM by Sue Ball

Fuck, Robin, I'm WITH ya on this one, and glad you brought this shit UP, as I also accepted a comic in to my circle that I DON'T KNOW and HAVE NEVER MET because my thinking is always, "Sue, don't be an asshole..., be flattered." However, y'know, I'm thinkin' of booting her out, and she may be lovely, but, it IS a little weird....so, yeah, y'know, I'm looking forward to hearing the outcome. Robin, I don't know YOU, but right now, baby, you trailblaze....and I'm pullin for ya.....k?

as the hours go by...
Posted on 11/09/2005 at 02:48 PM by Robin Fox

I am getting more and more pissed. I emailed her last night and she hasnt gotten back to me. As for everyone saying I have acted professional....I dont know if I will still feel like this by tomorrow. Thanks all of you for your understanding and support. Oh and to show you how dense I am it took me half a day to connect Single White Female with the movie. Im on the talent search trying to find a comic named "single" I am hosting tonight at NYCC and will be at the Gotham thing too but will have to leave early. Hope to run into a few of you then.

Its 1:52 and counting
Posted on 11/10/2005 at 01:43 AM by Robin Fox

So heres the update. The comic who lifted my bio has still not responded to my email. Im not sure what the next step is. I would love if we could all collectivly tar and feather her....but that wouldnt be nice. What I will do eventually is kick her out of my circle. oooooooooooooooooooooooow that will show her! I really know its not a biggy but come the fuck on. This is a site for comedians. What do we treasure more than the sound of our own voice............OUR WORDS. The thing that pisses me off the most is it wont even make a good bit except at an open mic where there are a room full of comics. Lastly thanks for putting up with me on this.

Can I out her?
Posted on 11/10/2005 at 03:53 AM by Adrienne

Posted on 11/10/2005 at 09:31 AM by Kelly Shannon

I already deleted her from my circle. I don't want to be associated with someone who steals.

bio changed
Posted on 11/10/2005 at 09:44 AM by Josh Homer

looks like it worked. its changed to a longer wordier, bio.

Thanks Josh
Posted on 11/10/2005 at 11:41 AM by Robin Fox

By the way to those of you reading this I didnt give out her name. The reason some people figured it out is she invited just about everyone who is in my circle. Last night I came home at 2 am from working and the bio was still up. I wrote her a second letter.

It went something like this......

It might be nice if you at the very least responed to my email. It not as nice as an apology which I really do deserve. More importantly... Please change your bio. I dont want to have to resort to speaking to Steve or Danny about this. Lastly as a comic what is the big deal of writing a bio. Its no where as hard as writing a joke.

I am glad she changed it.

Im the shit and I eat it too....

2005-10-29T07:42:00.000-04:00

Weds. night I did a show at a room in Essex Co. NJ. It was my kind of room. It was a bunch of good hard working middle class rowdy rude New Jerseyains. I had gotten the gig from a strong recommendation from a fellow comedian who has played the room before. I love NJ rooms I did my first paid gig at Porkeys in Byram and worked my favorite NJ room for J&J comedy at the Woodbridge Sheraton...on Sat nights. There is an ease to these rooms for me. First off it is a paying audience that knows its not in NY...they aren't expecting to see Jerry Seinfeld or Jim Norton....depending on their tastes. They are open to the funny.

The show has a wild format...2 brand new comics go on right after the MC.. In a portion they call Digging for gold. These are raw and freshly hatched kids. One comic really showed the crowd a decent set...he opened with a call back to the MC's biggest joke and they loved him for it. It showed he could think on his feet and be funny . The second comic is a kid you have to love for his heart and determination alone. He struggled a bit but I think he can if he sticks with this find his voice and potential. Then there was a 10 minute break and the show began. During the break the two seasoned comics were to give our thoughts to the 2 newbies one at a time. That I was considered by the fact that I was a feature for the night a seasoned comic was unreal to me. I gave the fist comic some advice about finding stage time and asked him how long he had been at this. I repeated all the good advice I was given at the start. The second comic I did the same and also told him that he needed to be more personal in his material. He was hitting on some topics that are tread worn and I think he needed to impart a bit more of his own point of view into his set. Everything I said I also needed to hear myself. The fundamentals of this thing we do are pretty basic. Stage time, Stage time and more Stage time. Keeping it more personal helps you to develop your own voice and saves you the time of rewriting constantly a new set when your mostly topical. I was truly impressed at the spark in both their eyes. Those early days are so nerve wracking. A kind word goes a long way.

Then the break was over an it was my turn to take the stage. I was feeling off the entire day. My thoughts had been jangled and I cried for no reason during a commercial on TV that afternoon. It wasn't a Hallmark ad either. It was a diaper add Luvs. My daughter is in her freshman year at NYU and even though I see her once a week at least I miss her terribly. Uh Ho Hormones....what's the date.....I got big time PMS. So I get on stage and I'm holding a soda and a cigarette. I make an off the cuff remark about how nice it is to smoke indoors. I mention that I quit for 17 years and now that I'm back it has become an outdoor activity.... (like soccer) F. U. Mayor Blumberg. I have them. I do my standard opener and get an applause break. Oh shit I have them. I still feel off. This is where the 100's of shows and mic's pay off the set was on my hard drive of my brain. I try to stay tight and keep it slow and smooth. I do my 20 and I have KILLED. I'm thinking shit this was my "C" game. You should see me when I'm on my "A" game. The rest of the show was a blur. The headliner had a fantastic set and the booker and producers both were really happy and told me I would be booked again ASAP.....and I got paid. Lovely and it was only a half an hour away from my home. I love NJ.

The next night I was booked in the small room at NYCC. I didn't feel like making the long drive in but off I went. I went on just about 15 minutes after I got there. I followed my friend from Sal's Ryan Reese....and they loved him he had a very strong set from a very tied and worn out audience. I love seeing comics turn a room around...if only to prove that it can be done. I take to the stage and do almost the same set I did in NJ the night before .....shortened for NY stage time. I feel like I am on my "A" game. I deliver a decent set nothing more.....job done....no applause breaks I give myself a C. I feel shitty. Hey this isn't NJ the bar is higher. I worry that I will ever be good enough to turn a room around. Not yet it seems. I am no Ryan yet.

As much as I love NYCC I am not part of any inner circle and this night I know no one Ryan has left and so do I. I head for the village to see if anyone is hanging out. I go back to the womb to Sal's club. The feeling I get when I see Sal is like seeing family. He gives me a million dollar smile and we catch up. Paul Verdi is outside he comes over and he and I talk for a while. Sal has some great news and the three of us and Raymo too all go to a bar and celebrate. Paul is at this about 6 or 7 years I tell him about my last 2 shows. He suggests I don't over analyze what happens...just to concentrate on the next set and have a plan. We riff a few new jokes and Sal always has a great story.....Paul and I stop for a slice of pizza.....and we talk some more. I had been told by the pro headliner the night before that he liked my stuff and if I want more paid work I should really get more clean material. Who knew that a suburban mom could be such a gutter mouth but I am. I explain that my problem is I find the topics that I write that are clean are lame. I cant find my true voice in them. His answer is to keep writing and trying. Once again there are no short cuts. I get home at 4 am....I had a 9 am teeth cleaning and wake up to an hour of torture. I go home and sleep till 1pm. This leaves me 5 hours to get a days work in around my home and cook dinner.

I leave for the city at 10 for the Urban Late show at NYCC. I don't think that is the name of the show Seymour runs it and has offered me a spot a week before. It takes me no time to get in but an hour to find parking. I am a mile away and get to the club only to find out I'm right on time the show started at midnight. The room is full and the comics are not good but EXCELLENT. I am the only white comic on the show. I have gone to many of these shows and seen good comics go under. The energy is different. The comics hold nothing back. The humor is dead on and rough and hysterical. These are not light weights. Marc Theibold destroys, Yamaneika Saunders is killer good, Dean Edwards and Seymore are pros to the 10th degree. I am getting scared...no terrified. If you have seen me perform I am a slow moving vehicle..... I look like getting up on the stage is a chore. I lean.....I sit.... I am sarcastic and at liveliest just pissed off. Will this fly?? More to the point am I good enough to be here?? I want to run.... I don't want to go up. Sorry but we made a mistake here...... I talk to Seymour and ask him for some advice................."JUST HAVE FUN" really how?? Fun is doing well.. sucking ass is HELL. I feel like I will be going to hell. Calise Hawkins tells me to be positive and beleive I can do well. I feel as the only white person on stage I need to address it in a fun way. Michelle Bateau is in the club and she suggest a great line. I'm black from the back....and show my ass. I get onstage and say her line and I add "this baby's go back side and front. I begin my suburban saga to an urban room......aren't I suppose to have a plan???? My KY joke hits the rest kinda just sails along on the good energy in the room. My jokes about Costco are wrong...... is it the setting. I don't think so. I know its suburban....but the real truth is I am not a great comic. It is not a racial issue at all the plain truth as harsh as it is.......is .......... I am out of my league and the boat is taking on water. I get the light and I get off stage. The applause didn't last till I hit the door. Fuck. "all we can do is try to get funnier" I am not all that and some. I give myself a C maybe a C plus. I say this because I didn't bomb and many jokes hit.....plus I was scared going in and did it anyway. It felt like I was on stage for the very first time. I felt like the boys back on Weds night.... On stage I had dry mouth which I hardly get anymore. My jaw felt like someone hit me up there...it ached. I was getting a headache. I wanted a big sandwich...and felt nauseous all at the same time. Out in the hall all the comics were riffing on each other and giving Yamaneika a hard time about her hair. I threw in a comment and even there I was lame. They were all very nice to me anyway. Yamaneka was really nice and told me that It was just good to get up there and do it....and to be myself with full confidence. I tucked my tail between my legs and went home. Its almost 5 am and my head is still racing. It was like I never did comedy before. I have a lot to learn.....and a long long way to go....

Comments are below
Stop that!
Posted on 10/29/2005 at 02:09 PM by H. P.

It's bad enough to have critiques, but to place them yourself is self defeatist. Concentrate AWAYS on the positive.

"I tucked my tail between my legs and went home"

That should be out of your mind and more how you got the chance to work it all out. No more self defeatist. Hope to see ya soon.

Peace

You are right HP but ...
Posted on 10/29/2005 at 02:42 PM by Robin Fox

I think there are many comics who dont have a clear vision of themselves. I am far from a defeatist....but I fairly can asses my limitations and see that I need work. I want alot and it will take alot.

I think we all are like that..
Posted on 10/30/2005 at 02:23 PM by April Brucker

In a way. We are very harsh with ourselves. When most of my jokes hit and that one does not hit I only focus on that one that did not hit. I could have a fab set otherwise and have a slow beginning or weak ending though it is a fab set and everyone is telling me I did well I only focus on where I screwed up. And you should see me when I bomb. Man, I pity the fool who has to comfort me after a bad set. But a mentor once told me, "It is a process. It does not come over night." And an older comedian told me, "If you are getting up as much as you are (3 times a night every night when I can. Sounds like you are on the same schedule) God bless you." You'll be alright, no worries

my show
Posted on 11/04/2005 at 12:02 PM by

Robin I've been trygn to get in touch with you to invite you to my one woman show the evolution of a sexy mutha fuckak all the info is at suecostello.com I hope you can come:):)

Open mic....Open mind

2005-10-26T19:30:00.000-04:00

Last week I stopped by Sal's on a Tues. night after doing a set at NYCC. I wanted to get another set in that night before making the long drive home. It was the weekly open mic...Laugh off. I haven't been able to get to this show for a while because I try to not go out more than 2 nights in a row during the week. The warden ( Mr. wonderful) gets lonely. I also wanted to see some of my friends. I saw Sal from my car and pull up in front. He tells me the place is packed and he is putting up about 50 ...they started around 8ish. It was past 11 when I got there. I was going to just go home but I found a parking space a block away and figured Id just pop my head in and say hi. I look at the bar and there is no one I know. I go down to the show room and it pretty full. Then as I look around..................I recognized only one comic. I go over and say hi and ask..."who are these people?" They were all new to me.

I find it really scary how many people keep jumping in to give Standup a try. I am one of them so this isn't to say they shouldn't be there, rather it is shocking how many new faces in just six weeks showed up. On the other side where were all the comics I do know? Hopefully and factually many have moved up and out of the open mic scene and are getting stage time with paying audiences. .

I really love going to Sal's open mic. Sometimes we would actually get an audience and that made it a lot of fun. Also when you have a club or a mic that is your home base there is a comradery that is really fun. Some people see it as clicky.... I cant say that I have found it to be like that. Sure the first time you go to any new room if you don't know anyone it is rare anyone will jump off the stage to shake your hand. But if you go to a mic regularly you will find that people are really receptive especially if they see you are serious about what you are trying to do comedy wise. I was very scared the first show I did at the Morrison Motel. The room felt like everyone knew every one else. John the mench extrodinare that he is welcomed me warmly as I checked in. After the show he came over to me and told me that he like what I did. I loved going there and still do.

Many comics get angry about open mic's. They say things like...... how can you tell if a joke is good if your telling it to a bunch of comics just waiting to go on...or for a prize at the end of the night??? Many complain that they cant do the same set week after week when all the comics have heard it before. I agree somewhat....so I would try to have at least 2 new bits or even jokes or premises to work out. It made me write.....which made me better. One night early on Bill Burr was in the room this was almost 30 months ago. How do you perform in front of a bunch of other comics waiting to go on who aren't paying attention??? I learned from Bill that night.. you do it by waking them up with lots of laughter. He did a bunch of stuff that 2 years later he did on his HBO special...... If its good enough for Bill its good enough for me.

I started at the Stress Factory in NJs open mic. We often had 25 or more real audienc members it was great. But the best part for me was the feedback I would get from the other comics. Jullian would give me tons of feedback from the bar. John Bander and Greg Concodora and Jarret Kruse.....we all would help one and other....it was wonderful and made us all get stronger,

I like all of us don't want to languish at open mic's for ever.... I look to perform in front of a real audience when and wherever I can. However that said.... There is something great about the freedom of an open mic that cant be had anywhere else..................I can relax......I can reinvent.......I can ad lib...........I can try a different style...... and if it works great if it doesn't no foul. Now for the argument you cant tell if a joke is really good until you do it before a real audience. I don't know about you guys but my very BEST jokes I have known were good since the minute they were on paper...sometimes sooner. Sure Id run them by a friend or my husband. But after about a year of this I could judge pretty well if a joke was a laugh out louder or only a smile joke or a dud. Yes its great to go into a real room and find out a joke is great....on the other end it really sucks to find out that the joke is on you because it just bombed in front of 100 people. One of the things that I think I have developed is the ability to be able to self assess what is working and what is not. At open mic's I will take a joke that isn't working that I believe in and rework it and rework it until I think I have the correct wording, delivery and timing down pat. I do it for me................ not the room. Would I rather go to just real shows and do all this..... not really.

Hosting has let me do a bit more of this. Between comics I have thrown out a new line or 2 and some fly and others hover. I would much rather test run them at an open mic where a few good friends are. Best of all I respect the feedback theses friends give me. I love doing a new joke and late deconstructing it with Larry Baily or Guy or Sebastian or Raquel,Emily, Jill, Adrienne or Katy. We all help each other get better. I owe so much to so many people who like me endured open mic's with.. 1000 of dick jokes, thrown stools........ and boredom to the 100th degree. ALL because we want to get better at this. Remember this..........."Winners are willing to do what the losers wont."

Comments are below
point and counter point
Posted on 10/26/2005 at 06:05 PM by Josh Homer

Well I agree with most of what you said, however that all can be done at regular shows. When I bark, I talk with the other comics about bits ect like you described. I do relax on stage an dtake chances there, I play games with it, try differnt voices on stage etc. Just I don't feel that loving feeling at open mics. I did Stress Factory for months, no one offered me anything help or otherwise. I even got heckled by one of the people from SF, one of the guys from the back table.

your right about SF....
Posted on 10/26/2005 at 06:13 PM by Robin Fox

I started going to SF.. almost over 3 years ago. We eventually lost most of our real audience due to having been bumped by Jim Brewer for months on end. And you are right the group changed... I even felt like an odd man, or woman out in that situation. As for the love.... It is nice when it is there. I have barked for hours at clubs and done a set and it was if It never happened ...sometimes it didnt ...they ran out of show. Not one comic says hi.... I feel like I am seen as less than. I had a Killer set at one show I barked at for over 3 hours. I went on and just did great. To tell you the truth maybe cause Im old as shit.... I was too exhausted to enjoy it. It took me 10 months of hard work at all kinds of stage time some booked some barked some interned for...some open to finally be asked back for a spot without doing anything but bringing the funny. That was great. As for Heckeling at an open mic..... I have said on stage to someone who did that to me....Geee why dont you go fight someone with CP after this...ass hole. There is no room for it...At an open mic. Its great that you feel comfortable doing the things you do at barked shows... I do them there too. But for me.... and the situation I have created for myself, there is something really nice about having a home base open mic to go to. Lastly at the SF I always made it a point to go up to someone new and say hi....that place can be really scary the first time.

class act
Posted on 10/26/2005 at 06:26 PM by Josh Homer

I have seen you perform a few times (including the open mic at SF) and you seem like a really nice down to earth person. Hopefully I will work with you soon.

Well put Robin..
Posted on 10/27/2005 at 10:08 AM by Larry Bailey

I cant believe that I'm actually defending open mics as much as I hate them at times. But you hit the nail on the head. Sure there are a lot of negatives to the whole scene, but I've come to appeciate the little positives that do exist. In this business I've learned to take whatever positives you can get.

Best of all
Posted on 10/27/2005 at 12:24 PM by Robin Fox

Larry is the people you come to respect and enjoy. That is why I was so sad to go to Sals and see no one I know there but one comic. Your right they are unbearable at times. I have to leave the room often for a break. I miss some of those days when all we did was open mics and it was new...because I saw all of you at least 3 times a week. I dont feel like a fit in as much as this new crop of comics come up. But then there is the stage...and that is my classroom, no matter where it is I can learn something.

love your attitude
Posted on 10/28/2005 at 02:53 AM by Ray Rivera

i need to have your attitude, its really refreshing and professional, much success. i'm going to bed now.

from you Ray
Posted on 10/28/2005 at 02:59 AM by Robin Fox

Thats a rave. I feel the same way about you. Your always working writing and growing ...that all I can do to make this happen. There are very few if any short cuts. Great running into you tonight.

it's so true...
Posted on 08/28/2006 at 03:44 PM by Emily Epstein

You have a knack for putting things in perspective, ms. robin. open mics can be long and oppressive and frustrating. and for some of us that have been doing comedy for a while now, it's especially tough when we're not sure where we fit in--maybe ready to graduate from the mic circuit, but not sure that we can get enough stagetime to get up at least 5 times a week or more. But i agree, with our schedules and directions changing i miss seeing as many of the familiar faces. i haven't run into you in forever, but i'm so glad you're doing well! and i'm actually doing seymour's room this weekend and not sure what to expect myself. but i agree, it's all about challenging yourself and forcing yourself to go out of your element. it's the only way to grow.

Lets keep this show going!!!!!!!!!! Give it up for......

2005-10-23T23:03:00.000-04:00

I left for the city early yesterday because I didn't want to be late to the show I was hosting. I forgot to show up at an aftenoon party because I was so nuts about hosting later that night. I have been working on new material and stream lining my jokes to fit the hosting format. Most of my bits are too long. The show I did was the 7:30 new talent showcase.

When I got there I was told that I wouldn't get much time up front.... 5 minutes. I was put off by this how was I to warm these people up? There were 3 staff spots to follow me. So I came onstage and just did crowd work. Then I told the room the rules...and then I mentioned that there were a lot of people here to see their friends and that lets be supportive of all the comics..... They were a great room! Not a typical bringer situation. So the 3 house comics did their sets and all were great. Sean Murphy, Steve Aaron's, and a comic who's name I cant recall. Then I went on and did one short bit. My goal was just to establish rapport and to let them get to know me. The show was being recorded and my friend Eric Alexander was filming. He needed me to do longer bits from time to time to change tape and then I would do a longer set. I had more one line jokes than I have ever had since I began doing comedy. All I do latly is write short jokes, because I had none. I was really happy with how well it went. I still had to run for the comics....learn how to say their names... get credits....time and light them etc.. And be funny! I was scared going in but once the show began I really felt very comfortable. The comics were funny ! Only one did awful. Only one comic ignored the light....( I hate that) I had the club manager telling me to get him off. I did everything except walk on to the stage....and pull him off. There were two stand outs last night. Adrienne Ioppolucci, and Tim Warner. Both had the sets of the night. There was another comic I know from Sal's a big funny guy who went on early in the show who also killed....I have to find my list and figure out who he was. Dave O'Gara (thanks April see comment).

I really am so happy to have gotten through this . I know this is what I need to be doing. I don't know if I will ever be a great MC but I know MCing will help me be a greater comic. Then just when I am feeling like I'm the shit....in walks Michelle Bateau to the club. For those of you who don't know Michelle she is wonderful. She has a Premium Blend coming out in a few weeks. She is my favorite MC in the city. Every show she does makes you feel like you are so lucky to be at HER PARTY! She is everything I would like to be as a host. I may have done well but to be in Michelles league of hosting ....... I have a lot to learn.

Its funny so many comics I meet know me from the Soapbox page. It happens all the time. Its nice because many of the comics feel like the know me already. Someone asked me why I blog. I responded that no one in my suburban life really wants to hear this stuff. My husband listens to it day in and day out....... Its an outlet for me and a chance to connect with perhaps someone who might give a rats ass. Quite a few conversations have been about the new format of the web site. What many say they miss is The Rundown of whom is going to be on the Soapbox show. You can still find it but you have to go to the calendar section to find it. The other thing is the Comedians on Comedians. It was fun to see what we all were saying about each other. I myself LOVED the Comedy around the world that listed 3-4 comics and where they were playing. It was fun to see to find out that someone I knew was going to Tampa etc. Everyone is talking about the comedians circle. It is kinda fun. Let's just get one thing out of the way as a teen I sat at the un cool table, that anyone wants to join my circle is a riot to me. I guess If you live long enough you see everything.

Comments are below

Posted on 10/24/2005 at 11:37 PM by April Brucker

There was another comic I know from Sal's a big funny guy who went on early in the show who also killed....I have to find my list and figure out who he was.

Oh, that was Dave O'Gara. I know this for a fact because he is my boyfriend (I let the secret out) and he could not come to my show saturday because he was doing the guest spot he won at Aaron Haber's mic. I told him you mentioned him and he says thank you because he cannot get ot a computer.

Thanks April
Posted on 10/25/2005 at 12:19 AM by Robin Fox

He was great! Steve even said to me ...hes good. It was a pleasure to see him do so well. I really am usually very good with names and Tell him I am sorry I couldnt remember his name.

Posted on 10/25/2005 at 07:53 AM by April Brucker

will do Robin

One down one to go...

2005-10-22T05:36:00.000-04:00

So tonight I hosted the Soapbox show at RB's. It is the first of two hosting spots I have this weekend. Saturday I am hosting at NYCC. I was really nervous about tonight's show it was the first time I was invited to perform there without barking. I wanted to leave my home in "WHY the fuck do I live so far from NYC, NJ. by 7pm. My call time was 9:45 I know it is insane to think it might take 2 hours and 45 minutes but on a Friday night it could.

I didn't get out of the house till 7:30 I am listening to the voice of God 1010 WINS for the traffic report. It is a crap shoot wich way to enter the city with out it. The Lincoln was delayed 45 minutes. Holland tunnel was 15 min's delay...and the GW Bridge was no delay. Now I never went into Manhattan by way of the GW. I'm afraid to go this way because if I get lost it could get ugly. The Holland seemed good but the west side hwy they never report on and it has taken me over 2 hours to get uptown on a Friday evening. I decide it will be the GW the show is on 94th and Amsterdam....its a plan. I take route 78 and like an idiot I get on Turnpike south. FUCK FUCK FUCK..... I hate when I go dumb and just let the car do the driving. So I race down to exit 13 I see no sighs to go back on the TPK to go north so like an idiot ....I go to the toll booth with a human. I have ez pass and she says since I don't have a toll card I have to pay the full toll almost 5 dollars. I tell her I know that she can write my transponder number down and I can pay that way.....this has happened to me before. She looks at me and says "just go". It was too much of a bother I guess. (One point me).

So I'm listening to NEWS RADIO 88 now and they say the Lincoln is down to a 5 minute wait. Change of plans...... but what is this. There is a huge electronic billboard over the high way that says Lincoln Tunnel heavy delays. I roll the dice and go with the Radio Gods. Sure enough it was smooth sailing right in to the city. I hop on the West side Hwy and were moving....until around 90th street. Were bumper to bumper. My cell phone rings and I have no intention of answering it I just want to make sure its not my daughter who I will have to call right back. I just glance to my car seat. I am moving at 1 mile an hour just then a car drives by on my right on the shoulder cutting 6 cars ahead. The car in front of me stops short and I TAP him. Not hit him Tap him. Out of the car comes a guy about 30 Spanish baseball hat jeans with the crotch at his knees. Foot ball jersey. He is looking at his bumper cars are honking. I get out and say I'm so sorry the car that cut in startled me. He says look at all this damage. He points to thin scratches that go horizontal on the bumper. The side of his car has these too and I didn't tap him there. He says that the impact shattered the paint. I say are you kidding me I was going 1 mile an hour. I tell him lets get the cops. I then think I am going to miss my show. Plan B. I ask him how much money can I give him to make this go away. I have 14 bucks, maybe 25. He says I need at least $100 to repaint the bumper. I cant believe this. I say lets call the cops. I dial 311. He walks over to my car and says he's sorry that he over reacted and says forget it. Wheeew. Just incase I dial my home phone and leave his licence plate number on my machine.

I get to the gig and start to look for parking. I get lucky and find a space. I walk into the club 20 minutes early. You see you need all that extra Friggin time....its NY. The show is about to start and we have 4 people in the audience. I am new to hosting...so I start off slowly. I tell them about my ride into the city. They are laughing. I ask them a few questions. I'm just playing with them. I did okay. Was I fantastic ...no but I did good. It was a new experience for me doing crowd work with 4 people. Then as the night went on we made it up to about 12-15. There were a lot of great comics too. Bernie Paulie was wonderful I always like her. Matty Golberg did a good set and EJ Williams was very funny it was the first time I have seen him. Mark Macomb was great too. Danny McDermott showed up late and had the set of the night. They just loved him. I left feeling like I learned something's about hosting. Its no big deal.... yet it is. I needed to be the me that I am that's funny offstage as much as Robin the funny onstage character. I am grateful that I did the Chicks and Giggles show earlier this week it really helped. So tomorrow night is the big one at NYCC. I hope I can do even better. It is always a learning experience...but I want to really do well all the same.

Comments are below
Good Luck!
Posted on 10/22/2005 at 04:35 AM by Adrienne

I will be at NYCC tomorrow night, can't wait to see you!

Congrats!
Posted on 10/22/2005 at 02:24 PM by Brad Cox

It's tough to break in. I know. I'm going through that now. Best of luck.

Its raining...
Posted on 10/22/2005 at 03:00 PM by Robin Fox

Thanks Adrienne and Brad.. So here we go again ... Im leaving 3 hours early because of the rain. The driving some nights is as big of a challenge as the show. My plan for tonight is to try to have a little fun. I really dont like hosting yet. I know I will like it more as I get better at it. And since it usually is the first rung to doing spots what choice do I really have. The hardest part is if Im having a bad day I can act my way through a well prepared 10 minute spot....but this is a 2 hour deal. Keep you posted.

Congratulations! From Linda San Lucas
Posted on 10/23/2005 at 07:33 PM by Linda San Lucas

Hey Robin: Congrats on the hosting gigs..I know you'll be great at it, I 've MC'd and its hard work! Hope you enjoyed it. Linda

Why?

2005-10-20T03:02:00.000-04:00

Of all the art forms one can pursue...I think standup comedy is probably one of the hardest of them all. If I spent years painting at least I might have a body of work that I could leave to my family. When I'm dead ...I'm thinking of willing off my jokes. Not that there so good mind you, but it is all I will have to show for the years of crawling through glass that this profession requires.

The other night a very up and coming on the fast track .....on the rise comic said to me. "When am I gonna start making some money at this." Now she has done a Premium Blend and performs at least 6 nights a week in the city. I can totally feel her frustration. She's funny as fuck....what the fuck. I will tell you this the money in her case will come. She's funny, young beautiful and is nice on and off stage. I am envious....6 nights a week. I would do it for free...to be that in demand. But no! I would get frustrated too....if I would ever get that much in demand I would think I should be earning some money. This is the lowest paying of almost all of the performing arts. When we do get a gig were thrilled to get $100. What is scale for a circus clown??? So the girl comic on the rise has a point. She's in her late 20's and wants this to be her profession. She also is most probably self supporting. I am in a totally different place. I have my house in NJ. The bills are getting paid. I am going on a vacation..... I have a good life to begin with. ........and the problem is???? I realize that the only reason to do this is that you love to do this. Is comedy like being in a one sided relationship....why do we love it???? What does it give back to me that I cant stop wanting to do it? I think part of it is that I like the attention? I like that it is something I can do well and not everyone can so I feel SPECIAL. I like getting out of the house. I like the community. I love the creativity and variety of it all....my jokes and yours.

Last night I did a show Called Chicks and Giggles. It is the second time I have done this show. It is all women.... It is so unlike the comedy you see in clubs. The comics don't do joke, joke, joke....Its more like conversion points and the funny follows. I was apprehensive because this is a young and kinda hipster room. Any one who knows me knows The only thing HIP about me....is my big hips. Stop and look at the Mommy Jeans. I have tried to be hip.......I bought the glasses. They made me look like a spinster not a hipster. So I decided to just blend in..... I have found from doing comedy that I have learned to blend in more. When you go to a club many times you have to adjust your set based on the room. You might have to change a joke because someone did a joke about the same premise...etc. Having done this show back last winter I new the vibe. It was the perfect place for me to be. Mostly because I have these two hosting gigs this weekend and I need to be more conversational than just relying on a set. Quite a few of the women had touched on Weight Watchers ... I have a joke I don't really like or use much in my set "SET" but last night I kinda acted like I was talking off the top of my head and dropped the best part of the joke into the conversation. The line got its biggest laugh since I wrote it over 2 years ago. I was really happy. If you haven't been to Chicks and Giggles you should its at MO Pinkins on Ave A....and 3rd St. The show is every Tuesday. If your a woman looking to get booked stop by one Tuesday and check it out. So I will leave you with this I still am not hip.....but for someone not trying to be hip....I can do 40ish I don't care if I'm hip so that makes me hip.......................in my sleep.

Comments are below
Thanks!
Posted on 10/21/2005 at 07:41 PM by Amy Patrick

Robin- thanks for this post. To say that comedy can be frustrating is an understatement. But, it's worth it. Thanks for the post.

Your most welcome...
Posted on 10/22/2005 at 01:38 AM by Robin Fox

Have we met? Try and get a photo up soon. I feel sometimes my posts are repetitve....but so is this bussiness

Hosting jitters.

2005-10-17T19:31:00.000-04:00

I have been forcing myself to write... not to just jot down an idea when it pops in my head. I am still informal, I do most of my writing now while waiting for my kid to come out of a lesson or while I wait for parking at 6:30 PM so that I can park without a ticket at 7. I would have to say that I am shocked at how little I like. It is during these sessions that I become convinced that I have no right to be a comic. Then out of the blue one thing might look promising. I then think......now I got to go shop this thing at open mic's. I get depressed. Not that I expect to do the bit and get much feedback at an open mic. What does happen though at open mic's is the joke starts to take on a form and a I can feel out if I think it has potential. I don't know about others but every really good joke I have....I knew pretty early on if it was gold or not. Some jokes need time to develop and the open mic's are really the best place for them.

I was at the NYCC this past Sat night watching the show. I saw Marina Franklin do her set. What was really wonderful was that she really doesn't work joke joke joke. Her delivery her confidence and her persona on stage have as much to do it a bit works than the bit itself. She does bits where If I wrote it I might think there isn't enough here to make something out of it. She had a way of milking out the funny. So I am learning that I need to be more open to the things I write.....perhaps they might be funnier than I think.

Lastly I have been fortunate lately and have been getting booked to do Hosting. This Friday I will be hosting at the Soapbox show at RB's and Sat. I will be Hosting the 9pm show at NYCC. I think that hosting is the hardest thing I do. Mostly because I have been doing it for a very short time and the only way to learn to do it is to do it. If you have ever seen me perform I am not a crowd work comic.... Hey you give me 5 min's. of stage time in NYC I'm not wasting a second on talking to you. But now I have too. I also am not a one liner comic. So I have gone through every notebook every scrap of paper and trying to put together as many short jokes as I can use of mine for hosting. It feels like starting all over again. I am very nervous and I pray my PMS hold off one week so I can think clearly this weekend.

Comments are below
You will be great!
Posted on 10/17/2005 at 05:55 PM by Adrienne

You are a great comic and know where the funny is. Knock em dead!

Knock 'em Dead, Baby
Posted on 10/17/2005 at 07:24 PM by Adam Sank

You always do...

Posted on 10/18/2005 at 06:12 PM by Joe Fernandes

You expressed some of the same thoughts I get about comedy. Hosting is weird. As you have seen, I have been hosting steady for about 6 months now. Its an up and down thing. Some nights Im mortified up there because talking to the crowd is so diffrent on any given night. But wait until you see how it will influence your act. Because now, from hosting, you'll be engaging your audience in a new way, and giving the old jokes some new life. Thats what happened for me. People told me hosting would make me better. While taking my lumps I didnt see it happening, but now I see what they meant. Check out this link, it has a good article on Mcing that gave me some good stuff before I Mcd my first A-room. http://www.cringehumor.net/columns/020904_askjason.htm

I hate change

2005-10-11T18:45:00.000-04:00

Just when your used to things they change them. I like the site the other way. I like white writing on black backround. I like the hottest comic...."why is he there??" or equally...."why am I on there" I liked comics around the world..... I liked seeing where my friend were playing and finding out about new rooms. I liked the comics on comics.. I am sure the site might work better like this.... but I hate change even more.......... I dont even like pocket change. Edit.....hours later you cant comment on your own comments..............................I guess that is going to make for some interesting flame wars.

Comments are below
YEAH...
Posted on 10/11/2005 at 04:55 PM by H. P.

Hell no we won't GO! Hell no we won't GO!

"Hey buddy what you yelling about?"

"Dunno, but I do know this will get me laid with a comedienne"

Hell no we won't GO!

Peace

Am I the only one???
Posted on 10/12/2005 at 11:08 PM by Robin Fox

So what do you guys think????????

Frankly I agree
Posted on 10/13/2005 at 01:03 PM by April Brucker

I liked the old website just fine. There was nothing wrong with it. If it ain;t broke why fix it?

I remember you.

2005-10-08T04:59:00.000-04:00

Several years ago I signed up on Classmates.com I had no expectations and really wasn't sure if I even wanted to contact anyone from back then anyway. So I figured if they contact me good if not screw it. Nothing happened anyway and then about a year ago My Best friend from 8th thru 12 th grade contacted me. She lives now in Georgia and has a life except for comedy very much like mine. She has 2 kids a husband.....blah blah blah.

I was so happy to hear from her. We emailed and IM ed all the time and still keep in touch. We played hours of what happened to him what happened to her. Followed by lots of rounds of Do you remember him/her. and who was the guy/girl who did this and that. It was fun. Then 2 weeks ago a very good friend from 8th and 9th grade emailed me. She lives in North Carolina. She sent me an email with her picture and I can get over the fact that we truly are middle aged. She wore a shirt with butterfly's on it................... don't I do a routine about that?? But when I looked in her eyes and smile she's the same girl burned into my memory that is still 15.

Today I got an email from another classmate, Cheryl I don't recall if she said where she lives. I was thinking about her just the other day... Its strange to me. My entire life as a kid growing up I felt so rejected from just about everything. I never hung out with a cool crowd. I was what was known then as kind of a hood. Not a bad kid just one who could go wrong at any minute. I don't know how I stayed out of trouble. Ok I was overweight and thought I was repulsive so I avoided getting gang banged through low self esteem. So I find as I go through life that hindsight might not be 20/20. It seems that people remember a different person than I thought I was. They say I was fun. They say I was funny. They they have great memories of their time with me. Wow. This is an eye opener. I got to look into this not just for spiritual growth. I also think it might make for good material.

Comments are below
Hey
Posted on 10/08/2005 at 02:20 AM by Adrienne

Low self-esteem whats that like?

Laughter is the best Medicine

2005-10-06T18:26:00.000-04:00

Please come by tonight for a very special show. I am thrilled and honored to be a part of this very special show. Location: The Original NY Improv 318 West 53rd St (between 8th & 9th), NYC, NY View Map When: Thursday, October 6, 6:30pm to 8:30pm Donation: $20 & Cash Bar Cocktails, Mingling & Hors D'oeuvres 6:30-7 PM COMEDY SHOW 7-8:15 PM Email or call to confirm your seating ASAP smile@comedycures.org 1-888-300-3990 Join The ComedyCures Foundation & The NYC Underground Comedy Festival for another laughter-filled evening at The NY Improv! All ticket proceeds benefit The ComedyCures Foundation, a non-profit organization bringing joy, laughter and therapeutic comedy events to kids and grown-ups living with illness (Featured by Good Morning America and OPRAH Magazine). The 2nd Annual Comedy & Cocktails event is considered to be the FUNniest Happy Hour in NYC. Grab your friends, family and co-workers for a night of much needed joy and laughter to support the award-winning ComedyCures programs! A great way to meet your next honey! CO-HOSTED BY SARANNE ROTHBERG (The ComedyCures Foundation) and Featuring: Featuring: Dan Ahdoot (Last Comic Standing), Vijai Nathan (One of NYC's Top 10 funniest stand-up comedians), Robin Fox (Ladies of Laughter), and Joey Kola (Late night with Dave Letterman, Rosie O'Donnell) Special Guest: New Orleans Hall of Fame Jazz Guitarist Warren Battiste

Comments are below
thanks
Posted on 10/08/2005 at 02:19 AM by Robin Fox

Thanks to everyone who came out for this fantastic event. The show was packed and everyone had a fantastic time. It was the first time I played at the Improv and it was so exciting to be there as an invited performer. Dan Ahdoot was fantastic as was Vijai Nathan. The real treat for me was seeing Joey Kola...he killed. The comics all but me seasoned pros were so nice to me and so supportive. I had a good set and

See Robin Run. Run, Run, Run

2005-10-04T05:56:00.000-04:00

Last Weds. night was the first time I Hosted a show in NYC. I was very intimidated and nervous about doing this for a long time. I had been asked if I hosted and I think that Im more of a feature act. Really what I mean is Im scared shitless to host. To me the host sets the tone for the entire evening and a lot rests on their shoulders.

So when I found out that I was to host I was honored and worried all at the same time. I have hosted a total of 8 times. I did it a few times in Philly where it was a 3 person show. In Morristown NJ where it was the same deal 4 times and once at 88 Keys in Woodbridge for a showcase of 10. Last night I was to put up 24 comics a few more or less. They were still seating when I had to begin so it was really difficult to do crowd work...with people walking 6 at a time in front of me trying to be seated. I did a small bit of bantering and crowd work and did my set that I feel establishes who and what Im about. I came off like the Mommy of the night... I was the designated adult. I did about 7 minutes and had to cut the set short and get this train rolling. My job entailed the following. To introduce the comic coming up. Then to hit my trusty Walmart timer to "set". Then I would run out of the room and find out who my next two comics were. There was no set list yet because not every comic was checked in I guess. So Id run up to the producer he'd give me a name I would go find the comic (easier said than done) ask him how to pronounce their name and credits. Then I ran back to the room and lit with my cell phone the comic one minute before they were to wrap it up. Then light them again one minute later ....your done. Then Id Reset my clock run up to the stage. Repeat their name ask them for "one more round of applause for Shekey Jokester" say something like we got a really big show tonight lets just keep it going the next comic coming up plays all over the city give a warm welcome too...... and it went like that for 3 hours. I wish. For the most part it went very smoothly. I would do a small bit every 5th comic about 90 seconds or less. Then roll on.

Keeping in mind that I have never done this kind of show let me say I had no idea how much work and stress it all was. Just the running and finding everyone was hard. The lighting the comics and keeping the show on schedule was very difficult. It seemed that so many of the comics would not look to the left of the stage because they knew I was going to be there with the light. Then when I lit them again at times up...they pretended that it was the I have one minute more to go light. I don't know if I buy this....one guy went 3 and a half minutes over. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and didn't give him a hard time...I told him that he went over and for his own sake he should have an idea of how long his set should take to be on the safe side if he misses a light. That is how I always worked when I did a showcase and still do. My last show at Gotham I was to do 10 minutes. I thought they lit me 2 minutes early...just because I had run the set at home for days and timed it. Turned out I got more laughs than expected and a applause break ate up time too. The other problem I found was that finding the comics to get them in the room was a job in itself. I was working on a list that was 3 comics at a time and needed to ask them for credits and pronunciation. Then with 3 minutes left on her set one comic left the sage with me halfway down the hall. I come running into the room and jumped on stage. Who knew that she only had 4 minutes of material...I wish I did. The room was uneven and I found people were feeling like they had to only laugh for their person they came to see. I tried to bring the energy up and started adding one liners to them mix. Sad but true I don't have a lot of one liners but somehow I pulled them out of my fat ass. I would find myself as I was timing comics panicking what one liner to use next. Then to make it even more of a challenge Eric Alexander comic and camera man extraordinaire would ask.... "can you do a few minutes I need to reload". I would then have to go into my 40ish Uni-Vac computer of a brain circa 1960's and choose a bit. Mind you all this stress and be and FUNNY TOO. Now let me tell you something about me. I do not have poker face.... none at all. SO frazzled was how I felt....but I couldn't let the club or the audience in on this so I acted as if I had it all under control. Much to his credit the producer more than once told me I was doing a fantastic job, which was encouraging. The room got tougher as the night dragged on. Comics got antsy and came up to me asking when was their turn. I felt their pain. I dint have a set list. Then the shit hit the fan. I introduced a comic and mispronounced his name. Lets pretend his name was Goodsman.... I called him Good-man. He gets on stage and says thanks for butchering my name. I'm sorry. I know a persons name is the most important word in the English Language...but I'm doing my best. When he was done I made sure I said GoodS-Man. Later in the night I introduced a comic who on the List his name read Dave. So I introduce Dave Insert last name. He comes on stage and says You fucked up my name thanks its David not Dave. Do I need this. You try this Im thinking. Lastly we lost a comic. So when the show was about to end he comes up to me... I tell him we couldn't find you. He was sitting in the front row all night. I gave him about 3 extra minutes of stage time as an apology.

The show ended and I was really pleased with how I did. I have a new found resect for anyone who does this and can do it well. Its a huge job and only looks easy when done well. It was the most work I have done and the hardest thing I have done since taking care of an infant. It never seemed to stop. There wasn't a second to relax. Yet I felt elated to have pulled it off and be funny at the same time.

My favorite part of the show was introducing a comic who was doing standup for the first time. I really worked the room up and tried to make it special for him. He was really very good for a first timer. After his set he thanked me for such a nice introduction and warming the room for him. It was a pleasure. I look forward to the next time I get a chance to host ....hopefully It will get easier. I will be hosting at RB's for the Soapbox in a few weeks and will also be Hosting once a month for Tuesdays edition of the Morrison Motel at the Limerick House on 23st. I really want to learn to do this well and doing is the only classroom.

As I was getting ready to go home 2 guys came up to me and asked me if I could be interviewed for a documentary they were filming that night. They interviewed many comics that night. We shot for about 20 minutes. They asked me some interesting questions...that really were quite revealing. One question they asked was what joke do you love that just doesn't seem to work. I told him my Shlepper Mom joke and they liked it. I love that joke but have learned to hate it because it is so iffy if it will get a laugh. I left that night feeling like " I guess this is real... I am a comedian" Then I drove home and made Tuna fish salad at 3 am and packed everyone's lunch for the next day.

Comments are below
I was there...
Posted on 10/04/2005 at 08:32 AM by Aaron Haber

and thought you did a great job!!!

Where did you host?
Posted on 10/04/2005 at 09:10 AM by H. P.

but it sounded like you got a booty of experience. Although it sounded alot like my daughter's kindergarden class, with the running after the little children and the temper tantrums at nappie time. I'm glad it went well.

Peace

Posted on 10/04/2005 at 09:31 AM by Kelly Shannon

Sounds like all went well. Somehow, I can't picture you being scared of anything. You always seem so calm and collected.

I Have No Doubt You Rocked
Posted on 10/04/2005 at 12:54 PM by Adam Sank

And I'm sure you'll be MC-ing there again in no time. xoxo

I will wear better shoes
Posted on 10/04/2005 at 01:09 PM by Robin Fox

Thanks everyone... It was funny last night I did a set at the NYCC and thought to myself...wow this is easier. I still loved the challenge that hosting offers and I know it is the quickest road to getting funnier.

Google me this!!!!

2005-09-25T23:36:00.000-04:00

I suffer from obsessive email checking. I have 5 email addresses...one at AOL for personal email friends and family, 2 at yahoo the first for giving my email address on the web, I get 600 spams a day. The second on yahoo for when I have to post my email on a comedy site and I might not know who will be getting it. The second to last email address is at Gmail. I use this one for bookers and comedy friends and all comedy business. The last one is also at Gmail for writing and storing jokes. So after checking all my addresses and having no email........I poked around the web a while. I come here to Soapbox and then run to a few message boards. But I'm bored....and feeling unwanted. No one emailed me for a few days for a show. So hears the sad but true fact. At times like this I GOOGLE myself. When I started GOOGLING myself I would come in on the third page. There is a Robin Fox who is a lesbian,witch,rock star...she comes in at 1st place. There is also a Robin Fox who teaches sociology at Rutgers. They both have lots of listings. So today when I Googled I was thrilled to see that I have moved to the 1st page...I'm down on the page a bit but what the fuck I'm still on the first page. I am pathetic. On a happy note I will be Hosting this Weds night at the NYCC in the big room for the first time. So maybe things are going better than I thought....

Comments are below

Posted on 09/25/2005 at 08:39 PM by Jim Larsen

My God, we are very much alike. I have a Yahoo email, 2 for my web site, one at allvantage, hotmail, and one for work, oh yeah, one for Desert Dog Films web site. Googling myself is cool because of all the hits on account of the movie. Sounds lke our internet habbits are very much alike. On the message board for my web site, I even have a forum to talk about the other people named "Jim Larsen" who pop in searches. One day i hpe to meet the jim Larsen who's domain is www.jimlarsen.net" and stick him with a shiv because I really wanted that web address. That guy is an asshole for taking it from me.

Posted on 09/25/2005 at 11:56 PM by Jill Twiss

So, Robin does this mean you didn't get the email I sent you about doing a show in Connecticut? (Truly, I sent it a few days ago.) And best of luck hosting. I know you'll be brilliant.

Congrats!
Posted on 09/26/2005 at 04:13 AM by Adrienne

No one deserves it more that you!

Funny....Im funny? I amuse you. Im a clown?

2005-09-22T03:39:00.000-04:00

I really wish that I never told a soul in my normal life that I do comedy. It is nice to have something to say other than the fact that I'm a full time mom. When I began my wish was to be able to say I am a working comic and for it to be true. However, often people will try to challenge me on what I do. " So your a comic what do you talk about....tell me a joke." I have a standard joke I use... and often they just smile and then want to tell me a joke. What is the most annoying thing about it is that women who in the past whom never had anything to say to me now think they have something to talk to me about. Sometimes there really sincere and are happy that I have pursued something that I love. Other times I feel like they need to prove that on the social hierarch that I am not a threat. Other times it is just that they want to know how its going. All in all Its a bore. Here's why, when I go to a social event ...I really have had my fill of comedy for the week. Many times I have turned down a gig to be at some of these events. So every time out at a social event feels a lot like the time before. I often try to turn the conversation around to them and usually that does the trick...people love talking about themselves.

The reason I told people about my comedy life was I felt I needed to self promote to get people to do bringers. The truth is I spent my load far to early in my career. I had most local friends see me in my first year and I think I'm a lot funnier now. It is really hard to get middle aged people to come see you in NYC ...especially when the club is asking for 10. 10 means I need to ask 16 in hopes of 10 showing. Its just too stressful. However some of the best opportunities out there are made available to the comics who do the bringer shows. I feel like I am not just a suburban mom anymore nor am I a real working comedian. I'm in limbo....funny limbo. So I just plow on and go to the next social event, thank goodness they have an open bar.

Comments are below
I never talk about my standup anymore
Posted on 09/22/2005 at 12:17 PM by Chris Kania

I never talk about my standup anymore. First of all, if there is no HBO special to mention, most people just don't care that you came up with a new bit, or had a good open mic. Talking about my own standup bores ME, I can imagine how the people hearing me talk about it feel. For me, I focus on developing my own stuff, and just don't talk about it, perhaps only to other comics, not "regular folks." I would LOVE to be successful one day, and have a bunch of people I know, see me and say, holy cow I know that guy, and I did not even know he did standup.

Robin The Fox
Posted on 09/22/2005 at 02:15 PM by H. P.

at least they're not telling you in your face "Oh I hear your practicing to be a CLOWN!", and it sounds worse in Spanish. "Ah, esta practicando ser PAYASO!"

Peace

Buck up Robin.
Posted on 09/23/2005 at 11:29 PM by Dave O'Gara

You are a funny lady hang in there. Good things are on your horizon.

I think you need to draw a younger crowd. Maybe one that can stay up after "Barnaby Jones."

I on the other hand am one of those obnoxious a-holes who loves to talk about comedy. I am my own biggest fan.

Im Bucked
Posted on 09/24/2005 at 02:31 AM by Robin Fox

I did a show a few months ago for the Red Hatters...all the women were 50 plus....in this case almost 70 plus. I did a good show but far from killed. I started at the Stress Factory which is mostly Rutgers Kids. I perform in the Village alot mostly NYU kids. I think to be a good comic you need to be funny...and relateable. I am not a redneck yet some of those comics are really good. I am not black form the hood yet I love urban shows. I am not gay but love many gay comics. What you need to be able to do on stage is share your viewpoint and give the audience a window into how you think and deal with your life and why you feel the way you do....being funny at the same time. Its like music. A hit crosses over. Good is good. It might not be what I might think I would like....but somehow I do. I look like a Bill Marr fan. I like him. But I love Rick Shapiro.

No such thing as bad press..... yeah right!

2005-09-13T04:57:00.000-04:00

The Last time I blogged was Aug. 12th. So why so quiet? Its a combination of things, My laptop is broken so I have to trek to my family computer in the basement. When my lap top is working I have it near me whenever I'm home so when the impulse strikes so would a new blog. The other big thing is that I have been doing some intern work for two different clubs in exchange for stage time. It sure beats barking that's for sure....whether it has been worth all the time and energy has yet to be seen. I do get a lot more stage time in front of a paying room. However due to this I 99% of the time do my best set....my same set. I feel the need to prove myself to the powers that be and in exchange for that .... I take less risks. I have had some stellar sets and my 5-10 is tighter than ever. So? Its too soon to tell.

So what got me to treck downstairs and blog at 1am? I checked my email. Then when I feel like a total looser I "GOOGLED" myself. Same shit as everytime..... Then it hit me why dont I "ASK JEEVES"??? There it was. The article a few comics said they saw with my name in it in a Big NJ Newspaper a year ago. It was a story on the Ladies of Laughter Contest. I had looked for it back then and couldnt locate it. Now over a year later there it was. The following is an exerpt from the article...

"Even something as simple as marriage with children in suburbia - and how it isn't always the life it promised to be - stung as much as it tickled. Dressed like a frump, looming large, and looking haggard, one of the comics barged onstage threateningly. "My name is Robin Fox, and I'm a trophy wife," she barked, looking furious when the audience started laughing. "But I AM. I won a pie-eating contest two weeks ago."

Frump= let herself go and looks unfuckable, Looming Large = Fat, Looking Haggard= old and tiered and unfuckable. Threateningly= Run children Run. They also didnt mention the small fact that I came in First in the New Talent division.

So....... is this my charm? Is this my rock bottom to start a diet? Its funny the week after I put on makeup straightened my hair and wore a nicer outfit....and I lost to Miss Friggenly Funny Georgous Former Miss NJ Deanna Blizzard, who went on to win the Finals in NYC. Its funny because so many people tell me that my strong point is that I am very likable on stage. The are bullshitting me?! Are they just saying something to say.... like when you see an ugly baby...................."NOW THATS A BABY!!!!"

What can I say. I am frumpy.... I find I do better on stage when I look frumpy. Loom large uggggggggggggggg yes I am overweight. If I diet I will need an entire new set. Haggard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!you bet I fucking am. I drive 500+++++ miles a week to do comedy. I work 16 hours for what amounts to 10-15 minutes of extra stage time. I sit in more traffic at 2 am than most anyone I will ever know. Most nights I spend more time looking for parking than I get on stage!!!! I go to bed at 3 am and get up at 6 am for my family make lunches, shop clean and cook dinner before noon and if I'm lucky nap for 2-3 hours when everything else is done. There isn't a lot of time left for Palliates and Yoga class, Manicures, and any kind of pampering to speak of. Haggard...............no I'm old and exhausted. Some one told me a few weeks ago they thought I looked 38. But a really exhausted 38. SO should I lie and say I'm in my Late 50's.

I so want to give up. But the article also left out something.............I'm stubborn and don't give up. How do you think I'm married for over 20 years. Do you think its because I got the one great guy left in all America. No I'm stubborn......and don't know when to quit. And just like my husband I love comedy and that keeps me going.

Dont think Im so strong. In one or 2 days I will have a total meltdown in my car at 2 am in traffic....you can count on it.

Comments are below
Don't
Posted on 09/13/2005 at 12:18 PM by H. P.

I saw you perform once at Sal's one night and I thought to myself "Damm I wanna be as funny as her on stage" now get the fuck off. lol

My fear is, I'll be lying on my death bed when I get my gig break in comedy. I also have my quote for my headstone icase that does happen, it'll say "I'm too young for this shit"

Peace or R.I.P.

Posted on 09/13/2005 at 03:11 PM by Kelly Shannon

Robin, you have some of the best stuff around. Don't pay attention to that article. Maybe the person was just in a pissy mood when they wrote it. The article they did on me was not really accurate either. You can also look at it this way. Look how far you have come in a year. As for frompy. Don't even go there. Every time I have seen you, you looked great. So, just to sum it up. Don't listen to anyone putting you down who doesn't even have the balls to go up on stage themselves.

Thanks Kelly
Posted on 09/13/2005 at 04:58 PM by Robin Fox

I have to laugh that something written about me over a year ago is nuts...even if I did just read it last night. I am thinking about taking a little better care of myself though. Last night I saw Judy Gold........... I see what 18 plus years of stage time and hard work can do. I want to see my talent or lack of clearly. I dont want to be self delusional either. I just was shocked that someone could size me up like that. I dont know why I let it bother me........I came in first that night. Its funny I do a bunch of self deprication on stage, but I like when Im the one in charge. I say when to laugh. UGGG. Got to go put some makeup on....and polish my nails.

On second thought...
Posted on 09/13/2005 at 05:34 PM by Brian Baumley

Ever consider that they had to describe you as a caricature of yourself to make your joke work in print?

I did think that................then the self hate took over
Posted on 09/13/2005 at 06:00 PM by Robin Fox

Its sick because I won that night and was flying high. Then when I didnt make it the next week into the finals....thank God I didnt see this then. I was hanging on to my sanity as it was. Miss you Brian... thanks for pointing that out. I will believe that. That keeps me sane. Miss you.

C'mon
Posted on 09/13/2005 at 08:54 PM by Adrienne

You are going to let something in s a news article upset you. Just think when people read it and see you in person they are goign to think you did a 180. And in reality you are just the same great you.

Im fine
Posted on 09/14/2005 at 02:21 AM by Robin Fox

Tonight I talked about this thing on stage and it went over well. I had a passion and my feelings about being conflicted were played out well onstage. Lemonade out of Lemons I guess.

On the Flip Side...
Posted on 09/14/2005 at 09:53 AM by Adam Sank

First of all, Robin, I think you're gorgeous. And even you admit that "frumpiness" is part of your stage persona, so obviously you're playing that up when you get up there. I agree with Brian -- the writer was simply using hyperbole to drive home your punchline.

But consider what it's like on the other side: All I ever hear about from crowds and what little press I've gotten is that people want to fuck me. Even Therapy's website, if you go to the listing for Sunday, Sept. 18, refers to me as their "new hottie host."

Now, it's nice to be fuckable, but as I told my therapist the other day, being onstage is the one time in my life that I want people to like me for my BRAIN. I am not a stripper. I'm a comic (at least in my own mind). I'd rather people think I was funny.

You're a comic, Robin. The article makes you sound funny. That's what counts.

See you Sunday night, Lovey.

Poor Adam, $400 of Ben & Jerry's will cure your problem
Posted on 09/14/2005 at 12:26 PM by Shaun Eli

Robin, love the pie joke! Plus, the article says "Dressed like" not "Is."

Broken toys
Posted on 09/14/2005 at 05:04 PM by Robin Fox

I think that more that is going on here is internal. My entire act is me saying........This is who I am!!! I showed this reporter this. I need to remember that on stage I put out a certain projection of who I am. So I guess when the reflection came back I forgot that point. If I played a monster in a play.........would I be mad that they said I look like a monster. I also think he was setting up the joke...and did a good job of it. But the pain is, my entire life I have had issues with my looks... So it kinda broght up alot of my own feelings of insecurity a first. Hey... I got a niche!!!!!!!!!!! I will be the funniest of the FRUMPY!!! Thanks for all the kind words. It was just such a shock at first thanks for talking me off my ledge all you guys...(and gals)

You're fine :)
Posted on 09/15/2005 at 04:41 PM by Raquel D'Apice

The frumpyness is completely part of your stage persona. I saw you that time at Sal's when you were all dressed up and you looked gorgeous. And Sarah was so pretty and she didn't get all from her dad! It's easier to laugh with someone who looks frumpy than with someone who looks pretty, so it works when you're on stage, but don't fool yourself into thinking you actually look like that...

On the Radio again

2005-08-12T21:19:00.000-04:00

Lets try this again...Tonight Friday or early Saturday morning at 1am I will be back on the Joey Renyolds Show on Radio 710 WWOR AM. I was on a week ago and got bumped by Jakie Mason who called into the show. I was on the air for about 16 minutes and said 3 sentances. Joey is a really nice guy and invited me back tonight for the Jewish Hour. See the irony of Friday night being the Jewish hour.....no orthodox will be listening so dont tell them.

So I will be going home tonignt around 3am. If Im lucky I will be home by 4:30am they are still working on the Holland and Lincoln tunnels for 12 to 5 am for the past 6 months. I have the most awfull sleep pattern due to this. I go into the city 4-5 nights a week plus the road stuff and I havent started a day befor 12noon in months. All this will kill me once school starts and I need to be up at 6 am again. I wish I could say that working so hard has payed off. I am still where I am. The only....huge benifit is that I have gotten stronger on stage. Now if only it would translate to a break here or there. Every level you get to in this thing never makes it eazier...just different.

I had something really nice happen last week. I did a show out in NJ at a one nighter. The place was great and had put a few ads in the Daily Record and Corrier News...she got her beer company to pay for the ad on a co-op deal..smart lady. After the show a woman came up to me and said. Robin Fox do you remember me I saw you at a club a while back I live in Warren NJ. I did remember her....she lives in the town next to me and she was so nice to me the night I met her. She went on to say that she saw my name in the AD in the newspaper and got some friends and had to come see me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ladies and Gentlemen....My Fan. So for now I work for small successes.

Saturday night Im performing at fancy Westchester Country Club. Im getting paid and am very excited about the gig. Im doing 30 minutes and they want it kinda clean.... Will see about that. I have seen that as long as you dont drop the "F" bomb every second it usually is cool to be an adult comic. I will let you know.

Comments are below

Posted on 08/12/2005 at 11:23 PM by Jill Twiss

Have a GREAT show tonight and Saturday night, Robin. I know that you will be brilliant. Mostly because I've never seen you NOT be brilliant. Congrats!

Aww Shcucks!
Posted on 08/13/2005 at 04:50 AM by Robin Fox

Thank you Jill. It went really well. I actually got a good half hour of solid air time. I got in some plugs for some clubs and did some material to boot, and was able to ad lib some lines that hit. Im nervous about the Country Club...that they shouldnt be too uptight and all. Fuck it! Im going for it!. You are such a great comedy buddy....and I am lucky to have such a supportive talented friend.

Country clubs can be weird
Posted on 08/15/2005 at 11:31 AM by Kelly Shannon

Recently I played two different country clubs and found that the billionaires loved me while the millionaires hated me.(seems the millionaires are not as secure with themselves) Make sure you scope out your audiance before hand. I find that a good place is in the ladies room. See how they talk and act. If they seem uptight, you might have to change a few things around. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Where is the Radio????

2005-08-06T16:50:00.000-04:00

Thursday night or Fri morning early... I was booked to do the Joey Reynolds radio program on WOR radio 7-10am. Joey has on nightly many of the top NY comics, musicians,actors and cabaret performer's in the NY area and the world. So you can just imagine how excited I was to do this show. The program is aired nationally and has the largest rating in its time slot in the USA. Unfortunately it airs from 1am to 5 am in NYC. Hey I'm prime time in Hawaii. I was fortunate that Sal had booked me at his club the Comedy Hole for 11pm so I was able to double up the fun on one car trip in to the city.

I had a good set and went after the show out for coffee with my friend and fellow comic Adrianne Iapucci. I love talking with other comics about the craft of comedy and bouncing around thoughts and ideas with each other. Adrianee is a funny woman and I thank god I could shoot an hour with her before the show to not be nervous. The time was now 1:15am and I needed to be at the studio by 2 am. I got in the car and turned the program which had started and Joey was talking with Jackie Mason. He had called in to the program. I followed the directions they emailed me and made my way across Chambers Street to Broadway and headed south. The area at this time was desolate. Even so there were no parking spaces to be found in-front of 120 Broadway ...all were taken. I drove around in circles it was now 1:30 am. I find a spot 3 blocks away on Liberty Street. I guy backs down in his car from halfway down the block and says that it was his spot. He looks kinda nuts so I say I think there is room enough for us both I back in and he gives me this nasty look and pulls in after me in the spot in-front of my car. I fiddle with my phone pretending to talk to someone as he walks away. I am now an official Telo-phonie. I run up the street to Broadway go to 120 Broadway and the door is locked. A sign says to go around the corner. I have already dodged one rape chance now for the second. Three men are walking up the street and I'm calculating if I can get to the door before they get up the street to me. I run to the door and get inside. Rape chance number 2 averted. I see the guard at the desk announce myself and he knows NOTHING. I give him the number to call and they say to come up to the 3rd floor. He shows me to the elevator. I get off and the entire floor is dark except for small construction lights and there is framing and steel beams and nothing else. I look at the elevator and I got off on the 5th floor. I push the elevator and the light doesn't come up. I panic I am now in Rape chance number 3. Finally I think to try the elevator across the way and it lights up and takes me to the Third floor. I get off and the sign say Welcome to Elliot Spitsors offices of Consumer affairs. No sign of the station anywhere. I call them they say wait we will be right there. I am roasting...no air conditioning at 1:40 in the morning. They don't come I take the elevator to the lobby and as I re-read my directions they say "we are across from 120 B'way" not in 120 B'way. I am outside almost in tears it is now 1:55 am. The producer is standing in the street calling my name. We go to the stations offices and she puts me in a room to wait...the Green Room It is 2:01am.

The station is very nice and yet the green room is kind of plain. It had a small table with 4 hard chairs around it. On the table were 2 industry magazines...and a phone. The station is piped in to the entire office every except the green room. I want to follow the show so I have some continuity when I get on. I ask if they have any bottled water? I am pointed to a hallway were there is a small kitchen with a cooler. It is very hot and there is once again no air conditioning..... I am told the show studio is air conditioned. I am nervous. I call my mother who is waiting in her home and has told every Yentta she knows over 70 to hear her daughter on the radio.

I am brought into the studio at 2:35 and Joey is interviewing a singer and another man. They are playing cuts from her new CD. Joey shakes my hand and when they come back on the air he doesn't introduce me. I sit quietly. I don't have headphones on so I cant hear any callers, to the station. After the break he introduces me an says I stopped in for a few minutes and I talk for a second ...where I'm from that's about it. Joey asks me if I am spiritual...they were discussing this before I came in. I look at him and say " Religion is for people afraid of going to hell......Spirituality is for people who have been there already." He smiles and says he never heard that before and loves it. He is in recovery for many years. Then he invites me to come back another night soon. They go to break. I am informed that the rest of the show is with Judy Collins and she came in early and they pre-recorded the show. So I'm done. Jackie Mason being on pushed the entire show out of kilt. In addition to the fact that the singer who was to be on before me came in late...such is LIVE programing. Joey is very nice and gives me 2 books one he autographed for my mom...his biggest fan. I head out to my car for rape chance number 4 and make it to my car safely. I drive to the Holland Tunnel it is now after 3 and sit in an hours worth of traffic. I am home at 5am. I am re-booked to be back on the show this coming Friday night at 1am. I can't wait.

Comments are below
I Liked It...
Posted on 08/06/2005 at 02:52 PM by Al Wagner

Nice line! You made the most of your fifteen seconds...no wonder he wants you back! I am not even that quick on my feet while running...:)

Not so fast
Posted on 08/07/2005 at 12:39 AM by Robin Fox

The line is from a 12 step program and I mentioned it to Joey. It was just in my brian....along with all the names of the Brady Bunch kids....and the lay out of every sitcom house. Thank goodness it popped into my head.

Im gonna be on the radio

2005-08-04T23:57:00.000-04:00

Late tonight 2 am I will be a guest on WOR radio 7.10 am dial I have been invited to be on the Joey Renyolds show. Joey is a huge supporter of NY performers. He often has on NY comics, actors and caberet performers. I dont know what we will talk about but I hope it will be fun. Im gonna need to have a Red Bull or 2. They taste like the can but what can you do?? So if your up...listen in.

Comments are below
radio is great
Posted on 08/04/2005 at 09:27 PM by Andy Kaufman

Robin, good luck. I do call in spots with a friend of mine who does Jersey Shore radio. The best part about it for a comic is that there is often little time for anything other then set up and punch line. Best thing to do is email or talk to the host and make sure you have your topics lined up and punch lines ready. Ya have to be quiick to the punch and before you know it, poof, they are on to a commercial for some restaurant and you are gone.

Go for it and have fun

Posted on 08/04/2005 at 11:13 PM by April Brucker

break a leg robin

I listened...
Posted on 08/05/2005 at 03:17 AM by Adrienne

till 2:15 then I had to park and go inside the house. Let me know how it went, I am sure you did great! You are a funny lady.

Itching my way to the top.

2005-07-25T05:08:00.000-04:00

The last time I blogged it was before the semi finals of the Laugh off contest. Sorry to have left you all hanging but so much came down right after it. I had my very first outbreak with poison Ivy,oak or sumac....who the hell knows which one it was but it made me so sick I wanted to die. First the mystery of how I could even get it. I don't do outdoors. I am a house plant. I go to my car and to the city or the store .....and home. When I am out doors it is on pavement or sand. I don't stop to smell the roses. I woke 3 weeks ago with 2 small what looked like spider bites on each thigh 3 weeks ago. Each day I had more bites. I stripped my bed...flipped it over ...a king size bed no less like I was a wrestler. I was fearing spiders were living in my bed. After 3 days both legs were covred from knee to the top of my legs. Time to see the doctor. I could some what cope with the itching but ....I developed deep tissue PAIN. I went on web MD and convinced myself I had Shingles.(Im not David Letterman whos gonna take care of me) I was going to quit my doctor because I think she is incompetent just a few months before but having no other choice I made an appointment..... they told me they moved. The new office was gorgeous!!! The nicest office I have ever been in. Suddenly I like this doctor she might be good. The doctor took one look and told me that I didn't have Shingles I had poison Ivy, oak or sumac.....(what the fuck is a sumac). She gave me Zertec and told me to put benedryl lotion on it. I did the standard oh oh it hurts in hopes of some narcotics...but she said Motrin. I got worse and worse it spread to my arms and belly. I continued life as usually running into the city 5 nights and wanting to scratch my brains out. The pain was unreal. I couldnt sleep hardly at all. I went to bed by having 2 shots of Stolli. It is now week 3 of this and I had to go back to the doctor last week for cortisone shots in my ass. Good times. I am now 85%better and just have dry skin everywhere from all the topical shit I put on this thing. I still don't know how I got it. The dog is suspect number one.

As for the contest.... I did very well. I didn't win. Payton won. The club is just so wonderfull.. THe place was packed and the liked me. I made it all the way to the bitter end at Caroline's. I did very well with my 8 minutes and made the most of it. I was really happy with my set. I made it into the final 3 of my group for the 90 second laugh off and made a bad call. I did a newer joke that had been killing......and it killed me. I flubbed 2 lines and didn't tell it or sell it right. In the end I was happy I had a good set and had come much further than I thought I could. I was in the finals last year and I feel that in the past year I have gotten funnier and have just found my comedic voice. The room manager congratulated me and told the bar tender to get me anything Id like.....I asked him for a spot on Saturday night. He said that was a tall order ...I said I will take a Tuesday. Unfortunately he only runs the room and handles seating and staffing. It was so wonderfull and awfull all at the same time. I loved every second of it. It is the reason I can keep at this....nights like that are just the best. I have a lot more to share but I will save it for another entry.

Comments are below

Posted on 07/25/2005 at 10:48 PM by Joe Fernandes

You go girl :)

Contest Gitters

2005-06-29T19:08:00.000-04:00

Tonight are the semi finals for Sal's Comedy Laugh-off being held this year at Stand Up NY. Unfortunately winners will be picked by who gets the most laughs. Being a weeknight and most of my friends live in NJ... I am going it alone. My husband works till 7 and I'm in the early show. My goal is to give it my best and have fun. I really would like to make it into the finals at Caroline's next week. I made it to the finals last year and I think I am even funnier now....but its not for me to say....its the audience so I really will have to give it my all. Contest play with my head. I think I look often for externals to validate my talent and as a comedian. I look at my bookings I listen to the laughs and ferret for any sigh that I am getting stronger and funnier. Lately the comments I have been getting are that I'm stronger and that I deliver the goods on a regular basis. Yet the validation for me of winning a contest seems like something I really would love to own. We get no report cards in this school we are attending on the road to having this job. I just want an A. Is it ego??? no its more insecurity...and the need to be validated.

Comments are below
My recent expereince
Posted on 06/29/2005 at 07:16 PM by Andy Kaufman

I am new to the comedy scene and even newer to the mind fuck of contests. Here in my home cowtown they have a 7 month contest that had 300 entrents and cretins. They have 15 folks each week with two or three moving to the next round.

They never tell us who the judges are and base votes on "star power", "material", "audience reaction" and "stage pressense", all of which I thought would be in my favor.

This story has been told, but I lost to a midget wearing a diaper. That Said Robin, there is NOTHING funnier then a midget wearing a diaper who tells stories about how hard it is to get girls. As I watched my ambition fold away even I was laughing hysterically and when they annouced the winners for that week I was hurt, disappointed, suicidal and ready to give up comedy except I realized that there in nothing funnier then a midget wearing a diaper telling jokes about jumping rope on a tampon string. I'm laughing just writing it.

So where do I get off thinking that after a few month of re-inventing myself that I could beat a midget wearing a diaper? I shoulda known better. I am using it in my act though cause it has got to be reverse kharma for when I lied to get into the Special Olympics and am STILL pissed off that I only got the Bronze.

The contests I have participated in where comics vote for each other is a circle jerk at best. I know I am good cause the audience laughs. One man's view? If you want to get validated, go have your parking ticket punched. This is about the bliss of laughter.

sal's
Posted on 06/30/2005 at 03:55 PM by Jennifer Dziura

I went to that contest once, and after spending 4 or so hours there having the emcee make skeezy comments about me (I sat upfront, like the good schoolgirl I am) and then having the proceedings dominated by guys telling rape jokes ... it was like a frat basement in there. Not my brand of comedy. Typical joke: I don't wanna go on a date, I just wanna get laid! Does a dog go on a date? Nuh-uh, he just HUMPS that bitch!

the greeks said, all things in moderation
Posted on 06/30/2005 at 03:57 PM by Jennifer Dziura

Not that humping bitches can't be funny, of course. But four hours of rape jokes in a basement?

Love them hate them Love to hate them
Posted on 06/30/2005 at 04:01 PM by Robin Fox

Contests for a fact play with my head. Last year at Ladies of Laughter I came in first at the NJ semi finals first round. I had never expected to do so well. I cried all the way home The following week I was eliminated. I cried all the way home. I knew that winning this thing could open many doors for me as it has for so many women comics before me... Just getting to the finals in NYC was the goal. Many women have had there carreers launched there. Kirson, Vejay Nathan, Michelle Bateau, Pecetelli, Leaghne Lord...etc I lost. But now looking back I see that if I got to the finals in NYC I wasnt ready yet. I truly have come to believe that you have to be prepared so that when Luck show up you can hit it out of the park! I made it into the finals last night so I will be at Carolines next Tuesday night. I will be ready the rest is yet to be....

Yeah Robin
Posted on 06/30/2005 at 04:37 PM by Kelly Shannon

You go girl! Bring it on home.

good thinking
Posted on 06/30/2005 at 05:03 PM by Andy Kaufman

I think if you go in without expectations nothing bad can happen. Jennifer's expereince not withstanding, I too have sat through rape and dick and fart jokes which are so easy to tell but pass though me like fast food. As we work, build something and take our lumps, again, nothing bad can happen if we have no expectations other then make people laugh.

A friend of mine told me this week that if someone has thin skin then they should not be in comedy. I agree. If we go inot these things just hoping to have some fun, make a few people laugh and getta few free drinks, then that is the head of a winner. If we go into competition thinking "OMG I will just DIE if I don't move on" then you might get past this round but eliminated in the second.

go to the bar and order a good stiff hemlock.

With all that said Robin, go have a GREAT time.

I know the feeling
Posted on 06/30/2005 at 06:04 PM by April Brucker

People have been saying the same about me but I have never won a contest. Yeah, it's frustrating in a way but HAVE FUN! That's why you do this. And I collect quotes so I'll give you one that you left me by Laurie Kilmartin, "The only thing we can do is get funnier." You'll kick ass, don't worry.

(apropos pithy yet well used cliches of encouragement)
Posted on 07/01/2005 at 12:47 AM by Angry Bob

to the victor, the spoils - to the vanquished...well, you really want to be victor here!! good luck!

Good Luck Robin!
Posted on 07/01/2005 at 01:47 AM by Adrienne

Your awesome, just be yourself and have fun!

Break Both Your Legs!
Posted on 07/03/2005 at 10:01 AM by Adam Sank

(And I know you will!...)

Pot roast blues

2005-06-23T21:40:00.000-04:00

Sunday night after a fathers day dinner and sitting around admiring all the new shirts and ties that were given as presents...I got the itch to run into the city. Sal's Comedy Hole has been running a Laugh off contest and there were only 4 chances left to make it into the contest. I had made it into the final 5 of the night after many long hours and I was beaten each time by A, A better comic B, A comic with lots of friends to cheer for them or C, a young hot girl comic that the guys all wanted to win. The last one was particularly hard for me when one night the Laugh Off was won by a girl who used to baby sit for me when my daughter was a baby. I didn't even know she did comedy. To her credit she was funny. She had a friend there and she was young and hot. A trifecta.

So Sunday night, I drove into the city and was so happy to be there and the goal was to win a spot into the finals to be held in a few weeks at Stand Up NY and the winners from that will move on to Caroline's. I came in guns blazing and got a spot for the evenings final 5. The room was mostly comics and as I walked up to do my 90 seconds I knew that I needed to make the comics laugh and if I didn't I was out. I couldn't do my standard 90 because they all have heard it 10 or more times. I did a new joke. This joke is an "act out" and any time I have done an act out it bombed. I had done the joke only 2 times before it killed the first time and bombed the second. I did the joke anyway and it killed....thank god. I took a risk and it paid off.

Many people think I am at a disadvantage for doing comedy because I live an hour away in NJ. Be that as it may I don't let it stop me. I go into the city on average 3-4 nights a week and when I am there I try to do at least 2 spots as many as 4. If I cant get a second spot I will stop in at a room (a once a weeker) and watch other comics and find out how I might get up in the future. Some rooms have been very receptive and others are like the secret handshake club. One evening I stopped in and watched an entire show....I bought my drinks and had a very nice time. The guy running the room and I performed in a show together the previous week and I had had a fantastic set amongst some pretty heavy hitters. When the show was over I went up to the guy who runs the room and waited for a few minutes while he finished talking to another comic. He turned around and said " Come by around 11:30 on such and such night you might get up" I asked him how he knew what I wanted to speak to him about and he said " your a comic what else would you want" I then asked him if I should confirm by calling or email I might not be free this coming week ...could I come the next one..and he said as if annoyed..."just come by"and walked away. I did stop by and when I saw him I was told that the show was fully booked and that maybe next time. I then came by a month later and was told that the show is really only for people with top credits... "comedy central etc." He wasn't rude he was just blunt. I hung outside and watched as the comics came and went. I didn't know that some of my fellow open micer's had been on Comedy Central Wow.... or maybe not. It felt like a brush off. I stopped by another night and hung out with the comics outside while I did this I informally barked into the room 8 girls and asked them to tell the guy at the bottom of the stairs Robin sent them down. Later when I saw the guy running the room on the street I tried to talk to him. I said his name as he walked by me 3 times. Finally I walked over to him and said hello and that I was happy to send some girls into the room. He said "thanks" I was just about to ask if I could bark in the future and he walked away. I recently saw him and asked if there was any chance some time I could have a spot and what would I need to do. He told me " sure not tonight" and kept walking. If this was happening to any other comic I would tell them forget it ....There are 100's of places to play don't bother. But It does bother me. I can and do well on stage... I do well with the kind of audiences the room gets and I'm sick of being looked at and treated like I should go home and make a Fucking Pot Roast.

I have come to think that for people who book rooms that are mere more than an open mic, they have an agenda. The first agenda might be that they only book people they need to return favors to. Secondly they book people who will book them. I can deal with this...hey its show biz. They also book there friends ok. Then they book the barkers. The barkers often after only 3 or more hours outside get put on often at the check spot. So what's left. What I resent is the condescending attitude and the way the person yielding the power acts. It reminds me of the guy who gets to direct traffic in the small suburban town for the 4th of July fireworks. All the power goes to their head. I know this is to be expected. But do you have to act so condecending. I remind myself...all I can do is get funnier.... all I can do is get funnier... and I still might not get a spot.

Comments are below

Posted on 06/23/2005 at 10:30 PM by Joe Fernandes

They say the cream always rises to the top. Just keep being you. I have noticed that, the rude comics, often are the worst comics. Just keep standing in line. Move over when the next person in line quits. Before you know it... you'll be right where your supposed to be. See ya Saturday.

By Invitation Only...
Posted on 06/24/2005 at 12:06 AM by Al Wagner

Now that I have seen you rock a room full of comics, the idea that you are getting resistance is very troubling, more so than if you were just a pot roast mama doing spoken-word karaoke. I just remember how sharp you were and a whole lot of laughter. It seems weird, and I know nothing except anecdotes about the booking dynamic, but if you come right out and ask for it, you don't get it. If you hang around and talk about how you are booked for the one competitor they actually feel envious of, then you will be asked. That's my Cinderella story, based on Nasonex-induced delusions.

And the buddy system is in full effect, and while that is every business, there are less alternatives in comedy. I Guess I hope that if I get comedy-blocked by a booker I will have other options, some club will have me when I am funny, but it sucks being turned down for no apparent reason when it is obvious you have game. And you were a five-minute doubleheader, so what does that say?

Ditto on what Joe said
Posted on 06/24/2005 at 08:39 AM by April Brucker

That is often true in my experiece. The rudest are often the worst

Robin, just don't do shows for jerks
Posted on 06/24/2005 at 12:48 PM by Shaun Eli

You're good enough that you can find stage time. No reason to drive yourself nuts nor to support bad behavior. And certainly don't go out of your way to steer people to a show run by someone you don't like.
That's why I always carry my business card-- if someone asks about a comedy show-- HERE! Read all about me. Come see me.
Some people have told me that I'm not ready for their room-- that they fill their shows with people who have TV credits (which, for those reading who are not comedians, is a selling point comedy clubs use-- our comics have all been on these TV shows...). Which is fine. If they then give stage-time to people with no TV credits who aren't as good as I am, I give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe they owed a favor. I've gotten into shows for the same reason. But if someone were to ask, they'd be told the truth. He owed me a show, or whatever. If I found out that the person lied to me, however, I stop trusting him. Period. And I very much try to avoid doing business with people I don't trust.

I couldnt have said it better.
Posted on 06/24/2005 at 01:29 PM by Robin Fox

Thank you... It just pissed me off. I needed to vent. I actually hesitated to write about this for a while and then thought...Im not looking to out this guy. I am looking to describe something that I think many comedians go through and wanted to share my anger and frustration. I need to look at more than what I have than what I dont... Tonight I am at DOnt Tell Mamas and I dont Have to bring a soul...based on how well I have done there before. Sat. night Joe and I and some other comics many who are here on the Soapbox will be doing a show for 300 people in East Brunswick, NJ. and getting paid. So boooo hoooo. I wonder what Mr 4th of July has going this weekend??

Tuesday night Lantern open mic R.I.P.

2005-06-22T04:59:00.000-04:00

Tonight was the final show of the Tuesday night Morrison Motel. I have come to love this show and am so sad to see it go. Worse yet is Matt O'Brian will soon be leaving NY to follow his writing dream in LA. John Morrison hit gold when he choose Matt to run the Tues. Night show. It was different from any open mic I had ever done. Before the Tues Motel I liked the Original Weds night Motel and if you had asked me at the time I would have thought that you couldn't improve perfection. Well Matt and DJ Scribbles did just that. Matt ran a tight fun and original gem of a show. I found my voice in this room. I learned so much from all the great talent and support and fun I found in this room. I looked forward to getting my lottery letter each week and held my breath till I found out if I made the cut or not. I looked forward to seeing Matt and John Morrison, Will, the gang form NJ, Raquel, Lisa Harmon, Jill Twiss, Eric Alexander, Sven, The guy who does German Scooby do...is it Seymour? Angry Bob, Manny, Emily Epstien,Nicole Cunningham, Mike Cayto,Guy Wench and all the others who I cant name but will still feel a special bond to for sharing and enjoying so many long fun nights with. I am sure I am not alone in saying Thank you Matt I will miss you most of all...I wish that all your biggest dreams you have for yourself come true. I also loved your song tonight. Matt sang a parody of I will survive, that killed. I am so sad to see it go. I am sure in years to come some of us will reminisce about the special times we shared in the little room that could and was killed....in a train wreck before its time.

Comments are below
Sorry to see the Tuesday Mic go...
Posted on 06/22/2005 at 07:15 AM by Adrienne

I think Matt is one of the best MC's and certainly a fav of mine. I wish him all the luck. How did your set at NYCC go?

Ditto on that
Posted on 06/22/2005 at 07:18 AM by April Brucker

I too think Matt is one of the best MC's and he was certainly wonderful to get to know as a person. He used to see me on my long jogs down Park Avenue. Anyway, I did a lot of growing as a comic in the Tuesday Night Shows and it became a part of my fabric. I too am sad to see it go. And I missed Matt's song. Damn!

I agree...
Posted on 06/22/2005 at 10:40 AM by Lisa Harmon

The Tuesday night open mic was my favorite too and Matt is one of my all time favorite comedians. I know he will hit it big in LA and we can all say we knew him when. Thanks Robin for the kind words - it is true, we had a lot of fun down there and a lot of very funny people. Best to Matt and DJ Skribbles, success could not come to two more deserving people.